Oh, my word -- please help me. PLEASE, please help a gay gal out.
It is the Sister's Bachelorette Party tonight. We are going on a road trip of sorts and I am scared. Like, actually scared. There is talk of a male strip club and I am hoping that is just a joke to get her fiance in a tizzy.
Though, knowing her friends and their streak of crazy....
I get the distinct impression that bachelorette parties were not meant for queer women. I mean, all the penis paraphernalia is enough of a raunchy, glowing sign that clearly states, "IF YOU LIKE WOMEN, YOU BEST BE LOOKING ELSEWHERE, LADY."
... Not that I'd be lookin' on a night like this. No, I'll be the one in the corner with her hands over her eyes counting down the hours until I can go to bed. Or, if we pre-drink, then I will be the drunk one in the corner with her hands over her eyes....
Serious, though, even though I am the Maid of Honour, I know my role tonight is to rope in the others and to advocate on my Sister's behalf (e.g. "No, she will not have a stranger do shots off of her" or "No, you will not force her to put on a silly crown and announce to the room that it's her Last Fling Before the Ring" or "No, dirty bingo involving real interaction with strangers is not on our list of priorities," etc.)
So, essentially, I will be the bitch. And I do mean "bitch" in the sense of "female guard dog." All snarl, willing to bite.
Huh.... so perhaps a queer girl is an excellent ally for the straight-gal bride-to-be. I think I may have created a whole new market here, ladies.
Anyhow, I imagine it'll be a late post tomorrow. So, if you can pass along any of your positive vibes to help me through, I will VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IT.
VERY MUCH.
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