The Word on the Street: 2009 Edition

[(Toronto + Massive literary festival) x Hours spent with your closest friends] = ONE EPIC SUNDAY ADVENTURE.

For future reference, this equation will be known as "Moffatt's Law of Excitement" or The Word on the Street: 2009 Edition.

After all my years spent on the fringes of 'The Centre of the Universe,' I find it shameful that this was only my FIRST time at Toronto's Word on the Street. How could I let this happen? I am SUCH a book nerd. And I am SUCH a literary criticism nerd. Heck, I was even an ENGLISH MAJOR for goodness sakes. I choose to go to lectures ON WEEKENDS. *Shakes head at herself for her past negligence* 

Regardless of my inexplicable absence from previous Word on the Street festivals, I gotta say that this one fulfilled all of my expectations. I was there at 11 am when the stalls first opened and I stayed until the last lecture wrapped up at 6 pm. And, I swear, I would have stayed longer had the festival continued onward.

SO! POINT FORM!:

• Managed to catch a magical Express Go train that whisked me into the city a whole lot faster than I had anticipated. Gave me time to stock up on water and gum for the hours ahead.
• Messed up with the subway -- I realized I was heading in the exact OPPOSITE direction from Queen's Park once I reached Wellesley. I've been programmed to go to the Gaybourhood at all costs it would appear. Seems my Gaydar has evolved to a Gay Positioning System (GPS) now.
• Arrived with ample time to wander through the park and assess the layout of the festival. Had difficulty locating the main tents I wanted to hit up -- serious, the map and the actual geography of the stalls were QUITE different. Still, though, I found what I needed to get me through the morning.
• 12 pm: Poetry Slam the First @ The Proud Voices tent. I believe the first LGBT series of lectures at Word on the Street started in 2007 and I was excited to see the crowd was still representing for us queer kids. Second Equation of the Day: Powerful, passionate words + fiery, compelling queer girls = ONE. THRILLED. MOFFATT. Serious. In fact, I'll break with my point form to introduce you to the lovely ladies of the noon Slam Event:

Beth Anne Fischer

Ms. Fischer coordinates a Slam/dance crossover event in Guelph each month. In addition, she's a member of PLUG Poetry, a crew that performs throughout Southern Ontario

Her poetry focuses on the beauty and potential that lives inside each of us, a brave position to take in this world of cynics. Gotta say, she definitely put a smile on this girl's face.

Truth Is

Truth Is holds the 2009 Toronto Poetry Slam Grand Slam Championship title and she shows no sign of slowing down. She's been a Toronto International Poetry Slam finalist; she's been a repeat participant in the Women of the World International poetry slam; AND she was part of the When Sisters Speak spoken word contest.

She's a master when it comes to articulating raw emotion to the point where even her pauses are filled with meaning. I even heard she's prone to perform on street corners and in streetcars throughout Toronto, so keep an eye out for this rising poet, ladies.

• Spoke with both poets after their performances -- I feel as though I'm on the cusp of discovering an electric, exciting world of writers I had never even known about before The Word on the Street. Not to mention, I could even find my first footing with the city's queer community at long last!
• Met up with My Advocate and her sister -- or, rather, I harassed them as they handed out samples of Cheerios at a 2010 Olympics booth at the festival. I even posed as a postcard enthusiast so I could talk to them both. My Advocate was finished at 2 pm, so I had an hour to walk through the stalls and struggle to resist the Siren song of manga and literary journals...
• 2 pm: Headed to the Vic College Book Sale. OH, Mecca of literature -- what a world. I spent just shy of $50 dollars on books in the span of, oh.... 2 hours? Actually, that's fairly decent, considering I was bombarded by alluring titles all day. Found an archaic book about a man who travels the world (aka Europe) in a hot air balloon. My Advocate and I vowed to film segments and post them on YouTube.
• 3:45 pm: Roasted corn/ice cream break.
• 3:55 pm: Found Margaret Atwood's autograph table and GAVE HER MIGHTY CUT-EYE. *Feels fulfilled* I like the whole -- Miz Moffatt: Your presence angers me which makes me stronger. You best watch out, Atwood. Margaret Atwood: Ah, but your ANGER gives ME strength! HAHA! Miz Moffatt:... Damn you, Atwood. 
• 4 pm: Dragged My Advocate over to the Scotiabank Bestsellers Tent to see "The View From Out Here" panel discussion with DIONNE BRAND!..... and Jane Urquhart, Nino Ricci, and Camilla Gibb. Jane Urquhart told me and My Advocate to write about lampposts. I believe we must, now. Marveled at the tendency writers/scholars have to invent words to articulate apparently 'complex' ideas. (e.g. "Belongingness") Our invented Word of the Day: "Poetricity" (po-et-TRISS-it-ee). I.e. "Look at that balloon in the tree there. How poetic -- the autumn sun is setting and a small, yellow balloon is trapped there in the branches -- Ah, yes, the poetricity of the moment is breathtaking."
• 5 pm: Paused at the Comics & Graphic Novels Tent and saw a panel discussion on Canadian webcomics. This was probably the most lively and hilarious discussion of the event. I love writers and all that, but there can be this air of pretension that creeps in when a large group of 'em are all together. But, OH, artists -- they're the life of the party, even if they seem quiet at first. We met up with Napoleon and hung out there until the end of the panel's discussion.
• My Advocate offered to have us kids return to her house for some pizza and Torchwood festivities -- the catch was my car. I was parked at the Go Train station WAY back in the suburbs and needed that to get home after mass chillin'. Napoleon offered to drive me there and then take My Advocate back to her home. AWESOME TIMES. I picked up juice and pop and met up with them later.
• Ship Sharp arrived for the festivities -- she even bought rings for the Advocate and me at The Clothing Show at the Better Living Centre. Mass jokes about Captain Planet ensued. Ship Sharp = TART! The Advocate = DANCING QUEEN! Miz Moffatt = SO GOOD! Apparently, our powers, when combined --> Napoleon dancing for our amusement. 

All in all, it was an outstanding Sunday. I didn't get home until about 11:30 pm -- VERY past my current bedtime, since I am an old woman trapped in the body of a 23-year-old woman. Speaking of which, it is 10:46 pm as I write this, so I ought to drop off for the evening. 

Expect more updates and randomosities to come! (Oooh, that's Invented Word No. 2. I'm on a roll here, people. I must be brilliant!)

Autumn Soundtrack

Autumn Girl, DEKLOROOM

Breathe in that crisp, cold air and start dreaming of a stroll or two through the leaves -- at last, we return to autumn. I know for certain that I am a cold weather kind of gal and I anticipate the September-October-November stretch like nobody's business. 

Guess I picked the right nation to be born in, am I right?

Anyhow, I thought I'd celebrate the First Day of Fall with a soundtrack tailored to the season. Granted, none of these songs reference the autumn, per se. However, when I listen to them, I can't help but picture myself walking through a small town at around 10-11 am with a little bit of sunshine playing through the trees and a few hints of Halloween popping up in store windows. 

I almost wish I was out of work just so I could take advantage of this season before it slips away again. Paf.

On that note, here's a sample of what I'm listening to this autumn:

• "Ahead By A Century," The Tragically Hip
• "Any Sense of Time," The Inbreds
• "The Atomic Trinity," Queens of the Stone Age
• "Cecilia," Thomas Dybdahl
• "Downtown," Tegan and Sara
• "Forever My Friend," Ray LaMontagne
• "Hanging (Aka Ramble Off)," Joshua Homme
• "High and Dry," Radiohead
• "Karma Police," Radiohead
• "Lightning Song," Queens of the Stone Age
• "Love Letters," Jude
• "A Lovestory," Thomas Dybdahl
• "One of These Things First," Nick Drake
• "The Only Living Boy In New York," Simon and Garfunkel
• "Pink Moon," Nick Drake
• "Rebellion (Lies)," The Arcade Fire
• "Sarah," Ray LaMontagne
• "So Real," Jeff Buckley
• "Sunday Afternoon," Mia Doi Todd
• "That Song," Big Wreck
• "Two of Us," The Beatles

.... And how about you? What songs are on your autumn soundtrack?

Cleanin' the Chaos

OH, children -- I have started the epic task of cleaning/de-cluttering the jungle that has become my room. Granted, I started about an hour and a half ago... and I've managed to abandon the work for the written word, yet again -- BUT STILL! I've taken the first step in what I know will be an arduous journey, so cheers to me.

What prompted this sudden Urge to Purge, you ask?:

• If I am serious about moving out or travelling about, I know these objects will hinder my ability to do so. Numerous possessions = A royal pain to transport = I need to cut out the extras.
• I have not been able to properly clean my room since January due to the sheer volume of stuff in this space.
• I feel unsettled and generally anxious in my room and it's directly related to the amount of clutter around me.

Hrrmmm, rather bleak picture I'm painting. Never fear -- I'm not one of those clutterbugs Oprah likes to profile. Not even close. No, I just find the objects themselves are getting to me.

Case and point: I sorted out all the old textbooks and novels I no longer wanted once I finished with my undergraduate degree in 2008. It's been one year. All of those books are still stacked on my floor. 

Yeah.

I guess what it boils down to is that I'm looking for a fresh start and a clean slate. So, why not start with an area of my life that I KNOW I can control?

Sounds simple, though it's a touch complicated. See, as much as I have the urge to throw out everything I own, I am also a person who catalogues and preserves random bits. I mean, heck, I'm contemplating a career in archival studies, so that should give you a clear idea of the mentality I tend to have with mundane objects.

"But, this small note was written by __________ back in _______ on the same day that _______ took place. Perhaps it can reveal what led to _________ later on. Perhaps it will illuminate more on my younger self...." etc.

.... It's sick, I know. I have shoeboxes filled with odds and ends from grade school, high school, and each year of my undergrad degree. Oh, not to mention all the notebooks filled with old school assignments and the boxes filled with various delights from childhood. 

I even have a box filled with candles. 

WHY? WHY CANDLES, MOFFATT??

Though, I DID find $20 in an envelope. AND I also discovered $5 worth of pennies. So heck, cleaning really CAN pay off in certain cases.

Will have to keep you all updated on my exploits. Am debating whether a photo journal would be A) Helpful or B) Embarrassing. Could definitely fall either way.....

"BITCH SLAP" <-- WANT.

I CANNOT ALLOW THIS CLIP TO HIDE IN THE SHADOWS OF YOUTUBE ONE MOMENT LONGER:

WANT.

WANT x 12.

.... Hey, you think I might be able to get in on one of those weekend fight rehearsals? I used to be a drama kid, I was trained in stage fighting AND sword fighting. That's gotta count for something, right?

I know, I'm playing favorites with Ms. Bell as of late, but -- well, you watched that clip just now, right?

I don't know what I've done to please the Universe, but OH MY GOODNESS.

OH my goodness.

Kerri Washington at the Toronto Film Festival

Fab.

The Road Back Home...

Here I am -- another September without the classroom. I miss the crack of fresh, overpriced textbooks. I miss the bustle of campus life and the small hints of autumn settling across our university town. Heck, I even miss the self-important, overconfident air of academia that seemed to seep up through the ground itself.

Though, I was given the chance to return to my undergrad days this weekend with the very same gentlemen I used to live with.

Ooh, I'm sensing a list coming on....

Saturday, September 12/2009

• Hit the roads at 9:20 am. Treated myself to a calming drive with none other than disc one of Must I Paint You A Picture: The Essential Billy Bragg as a soundtrack of sorts.
• Arrived at around 10:30 am. Surprised the gents with premium chocolates (Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Chocolate-Covered Cherries, aka "Creepy Cherries")
• Caught up on various odds and ends, mostly relating to films, television, and video games. Headed to the old stompin' grounds on campus including the UC, Mr. Lee's grad student headquarters, Mountain Cafe (mmm, diabetes-inducing cookies....), and Townhouse 84 (our home for third and fourth year).
• Visited the local comic book store. I get the impression the boys were surprised that I was the one to recommend the trip. What can I say, a lot can change over the course of one year. The store relocated to a larger and much more posh space -- no more crushing into a small room and dodging the War Hammer nerds. Huzzah! I poured over their manga section quite thoroughly -- managed to reign in my desire to purchase EVERYTHING.
• Subjected the gentlemen to more Japanese television -- I wish I had invented the batsu game. Serious.
• Headed out for a delicious pad thai dinner. Showed off my newly-acquired chopstick skills. Slipped into a coma of aromatic, vegetarian cuisine. Ooh, it was also a tea-infused meal which is always a good thing.
• O'Neill and I stopped in for some ice cream at a new store across from their apartment. Oh, side note -- I got my hair cut on Friday night and I get my hair dresser to straighten it, right? I was wearing the same button-up shirt I wore on the night I encountered Jessy from Boston Pizza -- O'Neill and I ordered one-scoop cones and a certain gentleman behind the counter hooked O'Neill up with a double-scoop and me with a TRIPLE-scoop cone! Honestly, that was the first time I have ever been rewarded for my appearance. Hey, no arguments here -- it was damn good ice cream.
• Had another great queer-focused conversation with O'Neill. I never realise how pent-up I am about these topics until the two of us just sit down and share all the gay gossip we've compiled between visits. I'm glad that, despite the fact we live in two different towns now, we can still be blunt and direct with one another when it comes to all things queer.
• Headed out to Club Renaissance -- I was anticipating this trek for quite some time. It was the first time I'd ever been to a gay-exclusive club and, well.... I discovered I'd built it up a tad too much. It was all shades of awkward, let me tell you. I felt disconnected from the moment we stepped into the joint. I felt old and sober and kind of creepy...? Don't know where that all came from. And it didn't have the same weight as it might have a year ago. O'Neill's already been there a few times, so there wasn't that element of, "WOW -- here we are discovering a new queer space at the same time!!1!" Nope. It was just me wishing I was ANYWHERE BUT THERE. We stayed for half an hour then booked it the hell out.

Sunday, September 13/2009

• Defined the term "Lazy Sunday" -- Slept in until 9:30 am; Ate a delicious breakfast of eggs, toast, and chamomile/spearmint tea; Watched random clips on YouTube and sat around in our pajamas talking until 4 pm. I know, I passed my, "It's still worthwhile for me to shower" threshold. So, I got to extend the number of days I could maintain my lovely, flat-ironed hair.
• Headed out for an early dinner at the local Japanese restaurant. OH MAN -- VEGGIE BENTO. If you were curious to know the definition of "love," look no further than the bento box. It starts with miso soup and a salad; it continues with a sampling of veggie teriyaki, spring rolls, tempura, fried tofu, rice, and a veggie maki roll; and this one ended with a scoop of green tea ice cream -- all for $11.29. LOVE, I tell you -- it is love at its most fundamental level.
• Headed home at around 7 pm, accompanied yet again by Billy Bragg's vocals. O'Neill gave me the rest of the chamomile/spearmint tea (it's a nighttime brew that's supposed to help with insomnia which I am in sore need of) and Mr. Lee provided me with a disc containing all of the current Batwoman comics as well as some ample background information for her character. Will definitely have to dedicate a post to Batwoman. Serious.

All in all, it was a refreshing weekend. It was surreal to return to the campus after a full year away, but I can't deny the connection I have with the place. So, here's to all the kids out there who are headed back for another school season -- may your GPAs hold strong and your social scene expand even further.

Being Queer vs. Living Queer

And here it is, the moment where paths diverge -- I am leaving the space of Being Queer and transitioning to the real world of Living Queer. Oh, what a world. Or, rather, what a week.

I couldn't quite grasp the thought at first, it was all bubbling away just below my consciousness. It stemmed from my excitement over seeing Zoe Bell in Gamer, for all two minutes of her blazing magnificence. (Yes, I'm still obsessing -- so sue me). And it took a hasty journal entry written at work to finally make the idea concrete.

.....It was the hesitation in her actions, the quiet air around her. I want to say it was a certain awkwardness, though not so dramatic. 

But I've noticed it.

Whenever the conversation turns to women I like or women I've dated, Chantal backs away from the topic. It's the same reaction my sister has shown me before. And I wonder if it will work its way through each and every one of my friends who I am poised to tell within the coming month.

I mean, it's one thing to talk about queer issues and to out myself to others-- I just think it hits people differently once I start talking about the women I like. And I do mean LIKE, like.

It's that moment when the other person realises, "Oh... oh, this is real now." You move from being the distant, abstract concept of "Queer" and start to actually be queer and to live as a woman who loves and desires other women. I guess that's the root of coming out, isn't it? Not just to qualify or validate yourself in name, but to actually inhabit a space AS yourself.

It's odd to sit here in full acceptance of myself only to watch as those around me struggle to come to terms with..... well, with ME. 

Weird. Weird, indeed. 

Whirlwind

GOGOGOGOIT'SSEPTEMBERANDIT'STIMETOGO!!

.... Or, so I've been told.

Amazing how one month can spin your life around. Hell, it's amazing how one WEEKEND could have that effect on you. I'm scrambling to keep track of what all I've been up to which is kind of a first (I know, sad to admit, but epically true). 

Shall we take stock?:

• Friday, Sept. 4/09: Attended the "LOLWTFBBQ" event. Drank a lot, played endless rounds of Things... (Sample Moffatt answers: Q: Things... you wouldn't find in the dictionary. A: Recipes. Q: Things... that hurt your back. A: Large Stones) -- ate a veggie burger, ate ice cream cake, witnessed a knife break in said ice cream cake, drank some more, played Things... some more, conked out on a sofa in the wee hours of the morning.
• Saturday, Sept. 5/09: Went to My Advocate's home for a ladies night/Torchwood gathering. Helped invent a Torchwood drinking game (which I really ought to share in a later post now that I think of it...) Got down to some good ol' gossip, psyched myself out of The Talk with the ladies. 
• Sunday, Sept. 6/09: Went to the Ex with a bunch of friends. Shopped at the International pavilion, won at a water gun game, ate tons at the Food Building, witnessed the air show from ground level, witnessed Elvis Stojko's ice skating/acrobatic tribute to random films (including Kill Bill and Slumdog Millionaire, if you can imagine it), learned via the CNE archives that just about every building on the grounds has burnt down at least once, and so much more!
• Tuesday, Sept. 8/09: Watched Gamer with Chantal and headed out for some sushi. Found out that ZOE BELL HAS A CAMEO IN GAMER! Granted, it's quick... and it ends with her head exploding... BUT STILL! ZOE BELL! Oh, and P.S. - Chantal has Gerard Butler in her Harem, right? So this marks the first film we've seen where a member of my Harem and a member of her's have kicked ass together. Oh yeah.

It all feels entirely full throttle if you ask me, especially since I've come off a rather slow summer. And, on Saturday, I'm heading out to visit with O'Neill and Mr. Lee to celebrate their first week back at school and their move back to "Chateau Surrey."

No rest for the wicked, indeed.

An Early Start to the Long Weekend

..... Though, the early start was not entirely desired, if you can imagine it.

I started feeling a little off on Tuesday. 

On Wednesday, I was trying to ignore my body's pleas for medical attention. 

By Thursday, I had to admit I had a bladder infection.

WHOO! YEAH!

Headed over to the clinic, got some wicked, 3-day strength pills and set to the task of getting better. However, I woke up this morning feeling rather feverish and still quite off (hey, I was only one pill into my prescription, I think it's understandable), so I called in sick.

My dilemma: A close friend of mine is hosting a veggie-friendly barbeque this evening that I've been looking forward to for a number of weeks. I haven't hung out with the crowd in about two weeks and want to see them for updates. I mean, think about it:

• The Sister got engaged
• I came out (which will in turn make me out to my group of friends)
• My current contract/job is coming to an end in the near future
• I randomly came down with a bladder infection that has taken me out of commission for the majority of this week.

.... There's a great deal goin' down during this August-September stretch, no doubt. Even if I can only spend a short while with the Crew, it'll be time well spent.

Well, it's decided then -- I'll take my drugged-up self downstairs to start ironing a shirt! HUZZAH FOR LONG(ER) WEEKENDS!

A Silly, Lusty Moffatt: The Jewellry Edition

Update on the Sister's Wedding Plans:

• Wedding dress: Obtained.
  
• Bridesmaids' dresses: So hot, obtained.
  
• Groom/groomsmen suits: Deposits made.
  
• Bride's gifts to the bridesmaids: Purchased.
  

As the Official Maid of Honour, I was given the privilege of joining my mother and sister this evening for the purchasing of the bridesmaids' presents.

Yes, I know it more than slightly ruins the surprise of a gift. I would agree. However, it DID give me an advantage when it comes to the sparklefied, glamourous world of jewellry for the Wedding Night. (Oh, P.S. -- It's a New Year's Eve wedding. Glam will be an absolute requirement, I should imagine).

Other highlights of the experience include: Two blindingly gorgeous sales girls who fawned over us as we perused the necklace collection.

I was the model for the trek since I will be wearing one of the two options on the Wedding Day. And oh, wait -- um, what else could be hotter than a lovely woman taking her time to adorn you with a variety of necklaces? Oh, right, maybe it was the fact that she fondled the necklace chains and even had the brass to smooth out those rogue beads against my chest. And OH, the heels that other sales lady had on... absolutely impossible and undeniably attractive.

All in all, I'd say our excursion was a success.... on numerous levels.

I am such a silly, lusty Moffatt sometimes. But, would you really want me any other way--

THOUGHT NOT!

Songs I Would Like to Date: Part One

Print by K. Zukowski

As regular readers will note, I am a hot-blooded music aficionado. Serious. I'm fairly certain there are treble clefs curled around my platelets and bass lines fused into my DNA. 

It comes with the territory of being a Moffatt. Especially the Miz of the Moffatts.

What you may NOT know about me is my penchant for inventing/pursuing random, list-oriented games to amuse myself with.

Surveys? I'm on it. 

Harems? Just check out my posts from the month of June.

I even created a popular series titled "Fun Fakts" based on uncommon observations of the common world. (I'm thinking of bringing that series back -- I re-read the old ones with my Cousin and I have established I am a crazy one).

To summarize: Music obsession + Tireless drive to create bizarre list games = Songs I Would Like to Date.

What if a song could become tangible and then moulded into a human form available for single gals everywhere? Would she be a classic, compelling woman or would she be another flash in the pan? Would she inspire your creative, self-reflexive side or would would she help you to lose yourself in the moment? 

.... Is it strange to entertain yourself with such abstract ideas? 

Anyway.

To start, I would like to offer you: "Greetings To The New Brunette" by Billy Bragg. I will preface you with this statement first -- Billy Bragg tends to inspire strong reactions to his music. You either love him and would walk to the ends of the Earth to see him in concert, or you despise him with every ounce of your being. 

I would belong to first group, naturally.

Regardless, I think it's worth the effort to read the lyrics to this track. It captures the spontaneous, energetic, and optimistic start to any romantic relationship and offers itself as the perfect travel companion for summer road trips. I think what I like most about this song is the idea that it shows both sides to a perfect relationship -- even while there's passion and fun, there's also the disagreements and the differences. All I know is that this song quite possibly embodies the most ideal connection between two people that I can imagine.

And, on that note:

Billy Bragg -- Greetings to the New Brunette

Billy Bragg: "Greetings To The New Brunette"

Shirley, it's quite exciting to sleep in here in this new room.

Shirley, you're my reason to get out of bed before noon.

Shirley, you know when we sat out on the fire escape talking --

Shirley, what did you say about running before we were walking?

Sometimes when we're as close as this

It's like we're in a dream

How can you lie there and think of England

When you don't even know who's in the team?

Shirley, your sexual politics has left me all of a muddle.

Shirley, we are joined in the ideological cuddle.

I'm celebrating my love for you

With a pint of beer and a new tattoo

And, if you haven't noticed yet,

I'm more impressionable when my cement is wet.

Politics and pregnancies are debated as we empty our glasses --

How I love those evening classes.

Shirley, you really know how to make a young man angry.

Shirley, can we get through the night without mentioning family?

The people from your church agree

It's not much of a career

Trying the handles of parked cars --

Oops, there goes another year,

Oops, there goes another pint of beer.

Here we are in our summer years

Living on ice cream and chocolate kisses.

And would the leaves fall from the trees

If I was your old man and you was my Missus?

Give my greetings to the new brunette!