Team HAHT: Vancouver 2010

So, I figured out the science behind the unseasonably high temperatures, the pitiful snow, and the warped ice surfaces plaguing the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

In short:

HOT OLYMPIANS.

And when I say "hot," I mean, "ragingly HAHT." I mean, "mind-erasingly HAHT." I mean, "I need to invent a slew of distractingly, irritatingly ridiculous adverbs to convey the appropriate levels of HAHT."

Oh, so little time to profile them all.

Most of the following ladies were medal winners. I know, there's a certain amount of prejudice built into that -- there are stunning women who didn't take home a gold, silver, or bronze. I know this. However, the medal winners tend to garner more media attention and therefore produce more photos.

Also, I tended to tune in to events late and caught the last five competitors and the impromptu medal ceremonies.

Anyhow, too much rambling, not enough hot... photo..ing.

Women's Bobsleigh

L-R: Kaillie Humphries, Heather Moyse, Helen Upperton, Shelley-Ann Brown

Without a doubt, this gold and silver medal triumph for the ladies is one of the greatest moments from the 2010 Games. Pourquoi? Catch the official medal presentation for this event. Upperton and Brown bit each other's silvers and Humphries and Moyse had THE MOST ADORABLE victory dance while receiving their gold medals. *Sigh*

Skiing or Ski-Related Events

Ashleigh McIvor (Canada) - Gold, Women's Ski Cross

Aino-Kaisa Saarinen (Finland) - Bronze, Ladies Cross Country 30 KM Mass Start Classic

Li Nina (China) - Silver, Freestyle Skiing

Magdalena Neuner (Germany) - Gold, Mass Start Biathalon 12.5 KM

Figure Skating

Kim Yu-Na (South Korea) - Gold, Women's Figure Skating

Vanessa James (France) - 14th Overall, Pairs Figure Skating

(Too adorable. She resides in Canada, so there's some connection there, too!)

Speed Skating

Ireen Wust (Netherlands) - Gold, Ladies' 1500m Speed Skating

(She's also one of four out and proud Winter Olympians!)

Annette Gerritsen (Netherlands) - Silver, Ladies' 1000m Speed Skating)

Snowboarding

Maëlle Ricker (Canada) - Gold, Ladies' Snowboard Cross

Torah Bright (Australia) - Gold, Ladies' Halfpipe

Kimiko Zakreski (Canada) - 29th Overall, Ladies' Parallel Giant Slalom

Skeleton

Mellissa Hollingsworth (Canada) - 5th Overall, Women's Skeleton

I want to break out of the photos for a moment to defend Mellissa Hollingsworth. The Canadian media was cruel in their treatment of her following the finals. She was touted as one of the nation's "sure-fire golds" and the media went ballistic after she placed 5th. To place 5th in a world competition of this magnitude on home soil is something to celebrate, people. And no, she didn't disappoint spectators and she never let Canada down -- when folks are winning by 1/100th of a second, it's anyone's gold/silver/bronze. So enough with the media's undue harshness -- I dub her hot and therefore she is forever absolved.

Curling

CURLING. Who knew? I tend to gravitate toward the curling rink over the Winter Olympics, but DAMN. Who the heck knew the highest concentration of hotties were gathered here? It seemed to hold true for both the women's and the men's teams, too. Sure "hits the button," a heh, lame curling jokes.

Cheryl Bernard (Canada) - Silver

Carmen Schaefer (Switzerland) - 4th Overall

(I suggest a Google search on Ms. Schaefer... quite the sexy photos out there of this curler girl)

L-R: Kotomi Ishizaki, Mari Motohashi, Anna Ohmiya (Japan) - 8th Overall

***

I know the Winter Olympics ended on Sunday and all, but do I ever miss them. I know most kids gravitate toward the Summer Games since the eye-candy is more accessible, but there's quite a few winter athletes to get our hearts palpitating. I know this post is a mere sample of the athletes who dominated our televisions over the past few weeks, but, come on -- the winter's where it's at.

Is it 2014, yet?

The National Hangover, Post-Olympics

What a night -- what a close to the 2010 Olympics Games in Vancouver. To state it simply: THANK GOD THE MEN'S HOCKEY TEAM WON GOLD.

Oh, to think of the consequences otherwise...

In all seriousness, the streets were alive with such a staggering energy last night. All it took was a well-placed shot by Sidney Crosby and the entire nation was on its feet. To see the live feeds of the crowds gathered in Vancouver, Whistler, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, and all the other major urban centres in Canada after that "Golden Goal" -- even our little suburban neighbourhood was alight with car horns and rowdy fans. And to follow all that with the Closing Ceremonies?

You can understand why this morning is deemed the "National Hangover."

Yonge and Dundas, Toronto: Imagine this crush of people gathered for HOURS after the goal.

Now, before I get ahead of myself, there's still a broad collection of Canadian Olympians I need to celebrate for their achievements over these last few days of competition:

• Cheryl Bernard, Susan O'Connor, Carolyn Darbyshire, and Cori Bartel, Women's Curling (Silver, Feb. 26)
• Charles Hamelin, Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m (Gold, Feb.
• François-Louis Tremblay, Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m (Bronze, Feb. 26)
• Charles Hamelin, François Hamelin, Jean Olivier, François-Louis Tremblay, Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 5000 m Relay (Gold, Feb. 26)
• Denny Morrison, Lucas Makowsky, Mathieu Giroux, Speed Skating - Men's Team Pursuit (Gold, Feb. 27)
• Jasey Jay Anderson, Snowboard - Men's Parallel Giant Slalom (Gold, Feb. 27)
• Lascelles Brown, David Bissett, Lyndon Rush, Chris Le Bihan, Four-Man Bobsleigh (Bronze, Feb. 27)
• Kevin Martin, John Morris, Marc Kennedy, Ben Hebert, Adam Enright, Men's Curling (Gold, Feb. 27)
• Men's Ice Hockey (Gold, Feb. 28)

PHEW. It was an intense few days, let me tell you. So, lesson learned: Canadians throw themselves down hills well and can skate real quick around ice -- but we're even better at it when there's more than one of us involved. Team work, people.

Canada's Total Medal Count: 26

Total Gold Medal Count: 14

If you've been exposed to Canadian media over the last 24 hours, you will know that Canada is now A) The most awarded nation in Winter Olympics history (when it comes to gold medals) and B) The most awarded HOME nation in Winter Olympics history (when it comes to gold medals).

I've noticed the infamous "Own the Podium" slogan has been amended since the 14th gold medal was secured -- the media is now referring to it as "Own the [Gold] Podium." Whatever it's called, it still effin' rocks that Canadian Olympians laid it out there and were rewarded with medals or with personal top scores (or sometimes with both).

Now, if only the Closing Ceremonies had reflected our new-found confidence and talent...

***

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. THE CLOSING CEREMONIES. I MEAN -- WHAT? WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STOP WITH THE CAPITALIZATION. I NEED TO COMMUNICATE THIS FRUSTRATION.

Highlights:

• Poking fun at the failed hydraulics from the Opening Ceremonies. I'm glad it was acknowledged and duly ridiculed.
• Katrina Lemay-Doan getting her rightful chance to light the indoor Olympic cauldron.
• NEIL YOUNG!! Such a surprise that he agreed to perform.
• William Shatner. Yep.
• Catherine O'Hara and her "HURRY HARD!!" entrance.
• Michael J. Fox and his utter fabulousness.

... And then, the musical nightmare started.

I tend to like Michael Bublé and his smarmy, snappy stage persona. I understand he was nodding to his Canadian predecessor, The Singing Mountie -- but then, it spiraled out of control.

I still don't understand the rationale behind the... full-blow, tacky spectacle. I know the Closing Ceremonies were supposed to be fun and supposed to showcase our self-deprecating brand of humour. But... we wheeled out every living Canadian stereotype to accomplish that? We just spent the last month attempting to showcase our diversity and our athleticism and our open nature and how we are more than those stereotypes. So, uh..... WHAT? I was cringing while I watched it. I actually felt embarrassed over it. I'm curious to know other reactions to this. Maybe others will think I'm overreacting, but... well....

The horror... the horror....

AND THEN THE MUSIC CHOICES?! No. Three billion times NO. I wanted to bash my head in when Nickelback took the stage, but then to follow it all with Avril Lavigne, Hedley, and friggin' Simple Plan?!

At least Alanis Morissette and k-os were there as buffers. I was glad to hear Marie-Mai, she seems like quite the Québécois dance princess which I am partial to. But serious, my brother and I sat there and listed at least 20 other bands more deserving of performances at those Closing Ceremonies, bands that would have been electric, eclectic, and way-the-eff better.

*Sigh*

I know this post is ending on a down note considering my general dissatisfaction with our Big Close, but still -- I can't deny the high that's still buzzing about the house from this past weekend.

Now, we gear up for the 2010 Paralympic Games starting March 12. We've still got tons of Podium to Own, Canada, so you best keep alert.

Ins and Outs: Doctor's Edition

Closet: 1

Miz Moffatt: 0

Another innocent situation where I neglected to clarify. I went to an interview with a new doctor who's set up her new practice near the house. I'm in the process of switching doctors at the moment -- it's a detailed situation.

The Moffatt Notes version: The current doctor refuses to do full physical examinations for female patients. I want a doctor who will consider my ENTIRE health.

Anyhow, the new doctor is fantastic. She's knowledgeable, professional, and personable. She's a doctor I could approach with any concern and I know she would respect me (even if I was overreacting to certain symptoms). Most importantly, she adheres to a preventative approach to medicine. Rather than throwing pills at symptoms, she wants to work with patients to reduce the chances of illness in the first place. A+.

But, hrmmm..... interviews.

It strikes when marital status is brought up. I can sense all the queer readers nodding their heads now, we've all been there.

Doctor: And do you have a boyfriend?

Miz Moffatt: Uh....Nope, I'm a single gal.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry. It'll happen for you.

I had a nice, insider's chuckle with that one. Still, I had the familiar rush of thoughts when presented with this:

"Do I come out? I'm evading the truth if I don't correct her. Though, I am being honest when I say there's no gentleman in the picture. Still, does the situation warrant my coming out? Am I taking a step back if I keep silent? Is coming out relevant in this situation?"

It's quite the conundrum.

I opted for silence. Now, I should explain -- I didn't feel pressure to hide myself. It just didn't seem relevant at the time. If I were in a relationship, you can bet your buttons I would make it clear I was a gay gal. But, when you're single and you're in a doctor's office detailing the extent of your medical history in the hopes of finding a better doctor -- I don't know, coming out was just not on the priorities list there.

I still feel a little weird from the experience, though. There's a piece of me that's got the scolding face on and is harping at me for sitting on my heels. But, the majority of me belongs to the "Enh" School of Thought.

Ho hum.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

Such a bittersweet win last night. The nation mourns and celebrates with the latest addition to Team Canada's medal count:

• Joannie Rochette, Ladies' Figure Skating (Bronze, Feb. 25)

It was only four days after her mother died from a heart attack and Rochette still managed to pull out a medal-winning skate. It was a heartbreaking and uplifting moment on the podium, that's for sure. I wish the circumstances could have been brighter for Rochette, but there's no doubt she had a brilliant performance. She won respect for her perseverance long before the medals were awarded.

It's been quite the Olympic Games so far. I think I'm not alone in stating that.

A Double Shot of Tegan and Sara

Fans, rejoice -- the Quins return with another off-beat and oh-so-sweet video AND with a fresh, danceable collaboration with Tiësto.

WHAT?? I could hear Tegan and Sara while I'm dancing at 2 AM in a club downtown?!

First things first, ladies.

***

"Alligator," Sainthood (2009)

It's melancholic pop meets Canadian winter playground. Hmm, but the aesthetic of those dance segments looks familiar.... I mean, with the white background and the clothes as a stark contrast..... I could have sworn I've seen a similar look before.....

Hmm.

Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara, "Feel It In My Bones," Kaleidoscope (2009)

I have to admit, I am loving this collaboration (and this snazzy video). I've had the chance to hear it on a late night drive back from a friend's house and it kicks it at that hour. As I look into Tiësto's album further, it appears he's taken the initiative to collaborate with some stellar Canadian women. Other artists on his album include Nelly Furtado ("Who Wants to Be Alone") and Emily Haines ("Knock You Out"). I will have to give this one a spin -- I have ample evidence of this album's awesomeness.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

YEAAAAAH! Team Canada defends their title and takes home the 2010 gold medal for women's hockey! Three cheers to those golden girls of the rink.

And, P.S. -- Sarah Vaillancourt, the lone out athlete of 2010's Team Canada roster, can add another gold to her collection. All I can add now is, "KYAAAAAAAAA!!"

A Single Gal's Reflection on Weddings

I'm about to lose all the edge I generated for myself with that last post.

Wait for it.........

..... Wait........... for......... it--

IT'S REFLECTIONS ON WEDDINGS!!1!

I know, I know -- I am a single gal. I have not been in a serious relationship. I am aware this indicates I am "putting the cart before the horse," as the expression states. I don't even know that I will get married. It's not a future a dreamt of as a child and it's not quite on The List of Everything I Need To Do While I Am Here.

Still, I was caught off-guard with certain meandering thoughts while The Sister was going through her tight four months of prep for her special day. As much as I reflected on the relationship between my Sister and her newly-minted husband, it cast a rather stark spotlight on my own affairs (or, lack thereof).

Hmm, perhaps "stark" is a little... corrosive in tone. Truth is those four months got me to consider a path I'd never imagined for myself.

I have these little pockets of memory from the whole experience:

I remember The Sister's first dress fitting -- it was the first time I'd visited a bridal store and I was curious to check it out. Little did I know it was also the location where the bridesmaid dresses would be discovered as well. Anyhow, as The Sister was being Bride-ified, I took the time to browse through the racks. Oh, silly Moffatt -- that's how it starts. I stopped at those regal, princess-style dresses with crinoline for days. All I could do was touch the beading and imagine a girl walking down the aisle toward me in one.

SO RANDOM.

It hit me right in my little Moffatt heart. I tell you, helping someone plan their wedding warps your mind. It starts uncovering these weird thoughts you never knew existed.

I think the idea of it hit hardest on the night of the rehearsal. O'Neill and I were loitering in the ceremony room, protecting some coats and camera equipment while the families were downstairs at the banquet hall. O'Neill asked with that comfortable bluntness we've built: "How about you? Can you see yourself up there?" I think I gave a bashful "No," but we were both acting tougher than we felt at the time.

It's weird once extended family members get involved. I wouldn't want my wedding to invite those snide, passive-aggressive and homophobic comments. If I could keep it to immediate family and friends, I'd be in the clear --wait a minute, see that? You see what happens? I start talking like I will get married. I need to think of meeting people and dating first, not this running head-long down the aisle.

Egads.

***

I was inspired for tonight's post by emily hartl over at AfterEllen. She has a Styled Out column on the the site where she discusses the ins and outs of lesbian fashion. This week, she focused on weddings with a gay twist. She pointed out another site called So You're EnGAYged, a gorgeous and comprehensive guide for queer couples and straight allies. Serious, flip through the wedding photos and just TRY to suppress the cartoon hearts that will abound.

Conversely, Kama over at The Queer Behind The Mirror tackles the issues inherent to the phrase, "gay marriage." I love picking apart language and pushing the connotations that hide in seemingly innocuous words -- Kama makes a compelling argument about the heteronormative edge embedded in the term "gay marriage."

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

What the heck, Team Canada. I am forced from the blog for ONE DAY and that's when you start "own[ing] the podium." Gosh darn. Our newest medal winners include:

• Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue, Ice Dancing (Gold, Feb. 22)
• Ashleigh McIvor, Ladies' Ski Cross (Silver, Feb. 23)
• Clara Hughes, Speed Skating - Ladies' 5000 m (Bronze, Feb. 24)
• Heather Moyse and Kaillie Humphries, Women's Bobsleigh (Gold, Feb. 24)
• Shelley-Ann Brown and Helen Upperton, Women's Bobsleigh (Silver, Feb. 24)
• Jessica Gregg, Kalyna Roberge, Marianne St-Gelais, Tania Vicent, Short-Track Speed Skating - Ladies' 3000 m Relay (Silver, Feb. 24)

I imagine Canadians across the nation are drunk on the achievements of these athletes tonight. The ladies have amped-up our awards ceremonies with their intense (and clustered) medal-worthy performances.

Sets a queer girl's heart all a-flutter. Oh Canada, indeed.

How My Parents Made Me Queer: Colour-Coding

Ever look back on those childhood memories to discover innocent oversights made by Mom and Dad that nudged you closer to coming out? It's as if they possessed gaydar without being able to read it.

It was Feral Geographer who first tipped me off to the concept of "How My Parents Made Me Queer." It's an idea I've contemplated over the years as I'm sure most queer kids have. In retrospect, it's as if we were all born waving rainbow-coloured flags -- yet, we can still remain invisible for decades until we make the choice to come out.

Regardless, I think we've all got those little quirks or those special interests that our parents picked up on and encouraged without realizing those points are vital to our coming out narratives as adults.

For me, the earliest encounter with this phenomenon was in household personal branding. Enter: Colour-coded towels.

After dealing with numerous fights regarding bathroom items, my Mom decided to make it clear for us. She bought toothbrushes and towels in specific colours that corresponded to the child in question. In that sense, we could claim ownership over objects with visual cues dyed right into them.

Of course, this is where the concepts of colour and gender become most apparent.

In our house, there are two girls and one boy. I am the middle child. My sister was assigned all the pink gear and my brother received all the blue gear.

So, where does that leave the second girl?

In the end, the official colour for Miz Moffatt was green. Gender neutral. From the start, I was not only born between siblings, I lived between the traditional colour spectrum designed for Girls and Boys. I was different from my sister's world of pink and different from my brother's world of blue.

I was green. I was uncharted territory. I was so going to become fascinated with concepts of gender norms and the act of transgressing those boundaries once I got older....

Subtle? Sure. And, to be fair, I was obsessed with the colour green as a child. I reached the point where I would only eat vegetables if they were green.

Still, though, I wonder how those first concepts of myself might have been affected had I been assigned pink or even purple. Or, what if the colours had been pastels instead of vibrant shades? I wonder if that helped set the tone for my childhood or if it was me who set the standard for the colours used to define me.

Oh, endless numbers of avenues to walk down with this thought, I imagine.

I'm intrigued to know what other small acts contributed to that proto-lesbian identity of mine. Perhaps it requires further investigation and more posts on my part. Hmm, we shall definitely see, dear readers.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

Congrtas to another medallist hailing from the Team Canada set:

• Kristina Groves, Speed Skating - Ladies' 1500 m (Silver, Feb. 21)

And, to make this particular match a little sweeter for all the queer women out there -- the Dutch gold medallist in the event, Ireen Wust, is an out and proud gay gal herself. So there's our Olympic moment of Cute, Queer, and Canadian personified.

(L-R) Kristina Groves, Ireen Wust, Martina Sablikova

Buddies in Bad Times: What A "Drag"

OH, TORONTO -- I love that cities tend to have such an air of potential to them. It's so simple to stumble across scenes or situations you were not expecting and it always seems to turn out for the best.

Last night was most certainly one of those occasions.

Hmm, point form, perhaps?:

• Headed to Ship Sharp's pad for 8:30 pm. Updated one another on our lives as dictated by the last two weeks. Ship Sharp's current working schedule makes me flinch. I mean, I need to kick myself into gear to match her energy levels and personal drive -- but I am still recovering on behalf of her and her intense workload.
• Rocked the jasmine tea (with bubbles!) and some popcorn. Narrated the thoughts of Buddy the Cat and his attempts to obtain popcorn.
• Introduced Ship Sharp to the sheer awesomeness of Lady Gaga's current single, "Telephone." Decided that music musts for the evening included: Plenty of Gaga, Beyonce, Rihanna, and Britney.
• Highlight: Ship Sharp and I waiting at the door, scratching the glass, and compelling Lady Gaga to dictate our evening.
• Rob and Ryan rolled into the townhouse complex at around.... 10:30 pm or 11 pm? Can't quite recall. Cruised into Toronto with the tracks at full volume. Whoever designed the lights for the CN Tower must have known about our plan -- we took it as a good omen that the CN Tower was washed in purple lights. Decided we could transform the car into a mobile club should our end destination prove to be a bust. Sang along to numerous Gaga tracks and some other fantastic gems.
• Arrived at Buddies in Bad Times to discover -- A PREMIUM DRAG SHOW! Yes, a collection of drag queens ruled the roost for most of our excursion. And, oh goodness, it was most excellent. The Hytes Sisters (Farenheit and Heavenly Heights) were the main performers for the evening, both bringing rather different styles with them. Heavenly was more focused when it came to the performance aspect, occasionally interacting with the crowd for a coy moment or two. Farenheit made it very clear that the stage was hers and we all best watch her every move. She was fantastic, though -- she stopped an obnoxious guy from dancing, she was sharp and full of sass if someone tried to heckle, and I was impressed with her ability to knock back drinks. She picked me out and got me to down the rest of my drink and she even managed to sass me when I was saucy enough to offer the empty bottle back.
• Note: I am one of those people who gets picked out at drag events, without fail. I am an approachable character, I suppose.
• Dancing started rather late, well after midnight. We were treated to Beyonce and a remixed Lady Gaga track, so we did quite well on the music. Highlights include: Ship Sharp's shoppin' cart dance, Ryan's fixation on buttons, and Rob's expert circle blocking abilities (gotta close ranks against the creepers, you know)

All in all, it was a fantastic evening. Now, ladies be warned -- the Buddies in Bad Times Cabaret tends to favour the gents. There are a handful of queer girls who attend, of course. But, the demographic is skewed toward the gay gents and their straight gal pals. Honestly, though, the atmosphere is a welcoming one. I tend to feel at home in theatre settings given that drama-related background of mine, so spending the night in an arts-intensive spot felt great.

The one drawback: Not a great beer selection. Hmm. Though, again, the bar shied toward mixed drinks as opposed to the bottle selection. I shake my head at all beers with a citrus flavour brewed into it. Serious, that's what lemon/lime slices are for.

I'm charged to start exploring more locations and checking out the Toronto nightlife further. Once The Advocate returns from Vancouver and once Ship Sharp's schedule mellows a touch, I vote we get back out there for a second round of shenanigans.

Ah, how I missed it.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

Congrats to another gold medal athlete on Team Canada:

• Jon Montgomery, Men's Skeleton (Gold, Feb. 19)

I wish I could find a photo from his victory walk -- I saw footage of it on the news and a woman in the crowd handed him a pitcher of beer for his efforts. Serious. The man was still in his Spandex uniform and there he was strolling through the Olympic Village downing a pitcher of beer. So awesome and so freakin' Canadian all in one go.

I [heart] the Olympics.

OD'ed on Adorable

Right-o -- it's a short post this evening. But readers beware, I've got an arsenal of cute on me.

I headed over to YouTube to check out some details on the top two members of my Harem and discovered these delightful, precious clips of the ladies. Seems both were keen on hanging with the Sesame Street crew to teach future generations and to garner greater admiration from yours truly.

First: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Oscar-nominated supporting actress:

And that is why her fans have dubbed her "Maggles." SO ADORABLE IT STINGS.

Second: Natalite Portman. In an elephant suit.

Dead Serious:

Ms. Portman's segment was an older one, but it is still cute beyond comprehension. I loved Sesame Street as a child, but I reckon I would have been glued to the screen had lovely ladies like these occupied that edu-tastic screen time.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

Seems Team Canada has shuffled off that notorious politeness and are taking no prisoners. Recent medal winners now include:

• Marianne St-Gelais, Short Track Speed Skating - Ladies' 500 m (Silver, Feb. 17)
• Christine Nesbitt, Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m (Gold, Feb. 18)

Our ladies are owning when it comes to Canadian medals at this moment. Out of seven, the girls have nabbed five (two of which are the elusive gold medals). None too shabby, if you ask me.

So, not only can we throw ourselves down hills well, we can also skate in circles on ice quite fast. Everyday, kids -- everyday, you learn something new.

EDIT: I can hear the rumblings from downstairs. I like to steer clear of the family room when men's hockey is on. Too much tension. And that's from the ice AND the spectators (chez Moffatt).

Tunes for Tuesdays: Goth Pop

I know. I can hardly believe I am making this post, too. I can hear the cries of disbelief from where I sit:

Goth Pop? WHAT is this?! WHY, WHY?!

Well, I think I can file this under Guilty Pleasures Moffatt Admits To Having.

Goth Pop -- it's such a strange facet of the music scene. It's populated with girls who could pass as the girl-next-door.... minus all the neon-coloured hair and the calculated tears in their black lace clothes. Goth Pop is its own niche. It's far too soft in sound to be considered Goth, yet the fashion borrows heavily from a Goth/Punkish aesthetic. It's got a slightly harder sound than pop music, but you know full well it's being targeted to the same suburban kids who listen to the straight-up, straight-edge Top 40.

It's not quite emo, not quite dance, not quite pop -- and then there's this brush of Goth-like accents tossed in for good measure. Think: Evanescence.

But one point it has in common: I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO IT.

Ah, the shame. Ah, the humanity. Hence, I file it under "Guilty Pleasures."

I have two separate artists to showcase this evening that are, without doubt, Goth Pop. The first hails from the Great White North circa 2003 and the second is a new duo from Japan. Despite the time/space/geographic difference, the similarities are uncanny and oh so shameful.

Jakalope

I am dredging up the darkest secrets in my music collection. Well, alright -- I never bought a Jakalope album. But I seriously considered it. Before I get ridiculed from here to Iqaluit, I would like to put out there that Jakalope was the brainchild of Canadian industrial musician and producer Dave Ogilive (aka. The man who produced work for Skinny Puppy, David Bowie, Nine Inch Nails, and Marilyn Manson). YEAH. We aren't messing around with an inexperienced founder here, ladies. He's worked with the titans of the industrial field and he's worked with freakin' Bowie. So, cut me some slack.

In 2003, Ogilive teamed up with Canadian singer Katie Biever to start crafting a new genre of music that would span the brash, violent world of industrial music and the melodic, hook-driven world of pop. In 2004, the album It Dreams hit the scene and found decent success with tracks including "Pretty Life" and "Feel It." And, um -- Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails even contributed production work and song writing credits.

Biever left the group in 2007 to pursue a solo career and a new Canadian songstress, Chrystal Leigh, took over as lead singer. Tonight, I offer the first single Jakalope ever released and the one track that continues to cycle through my head at the weirdest moments:

See what I mean? Complete mind sugar, I love it. Oh, but the magic doesn't stop there, kids...

Hangry and Angry

How on Earth did I stumble across this duo? YouTube. It was a recommendation. And now, these two pop idols are hangin' out with Jakalope in my subconscious.

And yes, that is the group's real name.

According to the Internet, the duo was created in 2008 in collaboration with a Harajuku fashion store of the same name. In essence, the band promotes the store's clothing and other related merchandise through their videos and live performances and .... well, there's music there, too. Hitomi Yoshizawa (Hangry) and Rika Ishikawa (Angry) are original members of the all-girl pop group, Morning Musume. Hmm, how to describe Morning Musume.... well, the group has rotating members where a girl's age plays the biggest factor on whether she's still in the group or not. Members "graduate" each year and new auditions are held to find replacements.

Now, granted -- the girls who "graduate" often enter successful new groups or duos, hence Hangry and Angry. And my, what a new creation.

Again, there's a similar swagger in Hangry and Angry as there is with Jakalope. H&A lean more toward the dance side of the fence, but the all-important style element unites the two quite nicely, I should think.

So, for comparison purposes, here is a subbed version of Hangry and Angry's "Top Secret" video, complete with Goth plushies and robots:

Compelling, isn't it? I know there's not a great span of time between both groups (2004 vs. 2010), but the outcome is the same. It's clean edge spanning cultures. Girls can feel tough and rebellious without actually having to be tough. Or rebel.

And this is why I am so gosh darn guilty over listening to any of this.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

Congrats to the newest Canadian athletes to capture space on the podiums:

• Mike Robertson, Men's Snowboard Cross (Silver, Feb. 15)
• Maëlle Ricker, Ladies' Snowboard Cross (Gold, Feb. 16)

Apparently, Canadians excel at throwing themselves down hills. Just add a little Goth Pop in there and I think I can call it a sweet night.

V-Day: The Final Stretch

Happy Valentine's Day to all those cute couples and sexy singles out there. I do hope that all parties received an indulgent amount of sweets and perhaps an extra surprise or two. I savored a nice bit of Toblerone this afternoon and dedicated the majority of my waking hours to anime and Olympics coverage.

It seems as though most writers out there are casting their two cents in on the notion of Valentine's Day. I for one am a bit of a romantic. Now, that being stated, I've never had the chance to fawn over a lady on this day. I can promise you now, the first girl I date on Feb. 14th is going to be overwhelmed because I am going to blow the DOORS off Valentine's Day for her.

Let all readers note that now.

Despite my lingering singledom, I don't harbour any aggression toward the holiday. I know most folks see it as another capitalist cash grab, but there are definitely other ways to surprise a special someone without having to drop serious cash.

I still prefer the original intention behind February 14th -- initially, it was a day for secret admirers to step forward and divulge their affections. It was a time to confess one's inner feelings and to (hopefully!) discover a new relationship. It's a time for action, or, at least, it's a time to remember that some risks are necessary if you want to forge a meaningful connection with another person.

And, it's also a time for epic amounts of sweets, so.... no arguments here.

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OLYMPIC UPDATES:

Congrats to our first three medal winners on Team Canada!

• Jennifer Heil, Freestyle Skiing - Ladies' Moguls (Silver, F. 13)
• Kristina Groves, Speed Skating - Ladies 3000 m (Bronze, F. 14)
• Alexandre Bilodeau, Freestyle Skiing - Men's Moguls (Gold, F. 14)

And an extra special congrats to Mr. Bilodeau who marks a new chapter in Canada's Olympic history. As all Canadian media outlets drilled into our heads this past month, he is now the first Canadian athlete to win an Olympic gold medal on Canadian soil. I was thrilled to see that televised moment.

Congratulations to our medal winners and to all the athletes who have competed thus far. Here's to another fourteen days of nail-biting, exhilarating activities. Updates to follow!

I Now Declare the Games OPEN

... Or so stated our Governor General, Michaëlle Jean, before the blinding glory of CANADA overwhelmed spectators around the world over.

I mean, if a man hurtling through an explosive version of the Olympic Rings on a snowboard was not enough of an introduction, then, I don't know what is. Though, I'm curious to know who wrote the prologue for the televised event. You remember the montage of Canadian scenery right before the ceremonies started? I seem to recall Vancouver being described as the "emerald" of the nation and there was something about "sugar-coated peaks" for mountains? What? I.... sure. Sure, narrator. You just keep on.... reading those bizarre descriptions.

I have to admit, I was a little torn over the ceremonies. I had moments were my national pride was practically bleeding out my eyes, but there were other times where I felt..... somehow irked.

On one hand, the presentation of our natural wonders and iconic Canadian geographical features was gorgeous; on the other hand, we've sold most of our natural resources to the Americans and, in the GTA, we're taking a stance of overdevelopment and swelling urban centres.

On one hand, we focused on Canada's indigenous roots and incorporated Aboriginal culture into welcoming athletes and visitors from around the world; on the other hand, we as a nation have left Native populations completely disadvantaged when the world isn't watching.

Our Governor General officially opened the Games, a woman who represents our lingering ties with Britain (again, a vestige of the colonial mentality); our Prime Minister had ample time to take in the Opening Ceremonies since he's, you know, not working (good ol' prorogued Parliament); and.... um, actually, I think those are all the points that irked me most.

Hmm, perhaps I'm just having an off evening. I mean, there were some gorgeous elements to the entire evening: I was stunned with the stage and the effects created through those massive, multi-layered screens; the chill, blue atmosphere of the stadium was at once refreshing and peaceful; the crowd was an integral part of the show's success as their presence was used for lighting and other designs; and, of course, watching the faces of the Olympians as they entered the stadium behind the flags of their nations was inspiring and uplifting all in one.

But, I wonder how far we've come when we roll out all those stereotypical images in front of international company. It's like we took out the fine china from the 1800s to impress our guests. The Mounties in red, the majestic and rugged geographical features paraded about, even the snow-covered stage -- almost all of the alpine events were cancelled today on account of the fact that Vancouver can't produce the weather to sustain the events. The fake stage snow is about all the snow in Vancouver at the moment.

Now, all that bitching aside -- I do believe one performer managed to capture the essence of Canada. Of course, I refer to spoken word artist, Shane Koyczan, and his impressive, inspirational piece, "We Are More." I found one section in particular resonated loudest:

"But we are more than genteel or civilized

We are an idea in the process of being realized

We are young, we are cultures strung together then woven into a tapestry

And the design is what makes us more than the sum totals of our history"

I love this concept of Canada. I love the idea that we are not bound by a single, overbearing national identity. It seems like Canada has more room when it comes to what we are. I like that we still have debates over what defines a Canadian and what our culture is.

In a sense, it feels similar to the word "Queer." Our national identity unites us, but it gives us flexibility and allows us to still self-define. Ha, I know quite a few Conservatives would take offense to me likening our national identity to anything queer-related, but I can see the similarities.

Oh, and speaking of Queer, we had quite the representation last night:

• Ashley MacIsaac kicked it with "The Devil in the Kitchen" during the fiddler section of the Opening Ceremonies
• k.d. lang effectively stole the evening with her breathtaking rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"

I must be psychic considering I profiled k.d. lang all of three days earlier for Tunes for Tuesdays. It must be those latent gaydar capabilities of mine. I would also like to note that both MacIsaac and lang were the first performers who were NOT dubbed with a pre-recorded version of their songs. I know, I'd never seen dubbed fiddle music before, but, there's a first for everything, I suppose.

So, all in all.... I am all over the map on this one. I was confirmed and alienated in one shot.

Another question for readers out there: Were the Opening Ceremonies a boost to the Canadian ego, or were they a pageant of stereotypes? Did you feel inadequate compared to the show or was your national pride reinforced? I am definitely interested to hear opinions on this one, kids.

Out Athletes and the Road to Vancouver

HERE IT IS, KIDS -- tonight, the 2010 Winter Olympics will set the Vancouver skyline alight with the hopes of all those homegrown and international athletes.

To celebrate, I am staking my claim on the couch and tuning in for the spectacle of the Opening Ceremonies. I know, there's some correlation between increased laziness/ingesting high fat foods and watching elite athletes. I mean, someone has to savour the empty calories those athletes have sacrificed to attain their goals. I'm just doing my part to help the Canadian team.

Anyhow.

I wanted to provide a premium link that will be of great interest to the queer women out there. Heather Hogan at AfterEllen.com took the time to sift through more than 2,500 competitors at this winter's Olympics and she has managed to locate our out and proud women vying for the podium.

The Grand Total: 4

I know, I wish it was higher, too. Though, as Ms. Hogan points out in her article, there's still quite a stigma existing in the athletic community when it comes to outing oneself. There's still intense pressure to remain in the closet in order to appeal to potential sponsors and to the more close-minded spectators out there. It's a sad reality, but, even then, I am damn proud to know that there are at least four women in this year's Games who have taken the step to represent for themselves, their countries, and for the LGBT community.

Oh, and one of those lovely ladies happens to be Canadian to boot.

Allow me to introduce you all to Sarah Vaillancourt, a forward for the Canadian women's hockey team.

Now, Ms. Vaillancourt is no stranger to the Olympic Games. At the 2006 Turin Games, she took home the gold medal with fellow teammates after playing Sweden in the finals. And, for some compelling tension for viewers out there, one of the other queer Olympians is a member of the Swedish women's hockey team (Erika Holst).

So there -- our one representing Canadian queer woman is also a competitor in our national sport. I don't know that I could fit anymore patriotism into that sentence.

Hmm, it's a shame there's no out curlers at the 2010 Games. For some odd reason, I tend to gravitate toward curling whenever it's televised. Ha, you could even say it "hits the button," a heh, lame curling jokes.

So, how about you? Are you game, or... lame? Nah, you're not lame if you don't watch the Olympics. All I know is it'll be difficult to avoid them for the rest of this month.

Serious, though, which events are you excited about? Which events do you use as a sleep aid?

More importantly, which Olympians have your heart all a-flutter? I am still ~checking out~ the competition, a heh. Alright, I need to stop with the puns.

Be sure to tune in for the Opening Ceremonies at 9 PM EST/6 PM PST.... or, check local listings for the televised festivities because I am certain networks will scatter it all.

Hats of to our 206 Canadian athletes at the 2010 Winter Games. May you strike gold early and often, kids.