All Hail the Hips!

Inspiration for tonight's post can be traced to one Mae Callen, founder of Queer Canada Blogs and avid fan of all topics pertaining to delightful, sharp, attractive, (and sometimes Canadian) women. After a rousing tribute to Thunder Thighs, I knew it was time to share a secret or two about my personal preference with the female form.

... (You know, aside from EVERYTHING ELSE.)

HIPS. I am a hip-woman. Unabashedly, whole-heartedly a hip-woman.

I always have time for an hourglass figure.

And I can think of nothing sweeter than an apple-bottomed woman.

Curvaceous, voluptuous, full-figured -- whatever the label, I shall approve. I am the "real women have curves" motto, personified. And I could also go on stating this appreciation for the rest of the night.

But, well, I think the subject line alone proves I am a letch. I needn't offer more evidence.

Instead, I shall share some of the glamourous women gifted with those kickin' curves and those rockin' figures. I know I have forgotten numerous women with this post -- please leave comments with photos or links if you'd like to alert readers to other lovely ladies. Better yet, I might just amend this post with the women you suggest. It'll be the Under-Construction post, what say you?

Right, away we go:

Alicia Keys

As if her brilliant talent and her humanitarian activities weren't worthy enough of worship, she dons a dress like that. I am only one woman. I am not immune to the power of the curves. Readers can understand why Ms. Keys is a member of my Harem Proper.

Nigella Lawson

Like every proper sister of Sappho, I dedicate hours to the Food Network. How can I ignore it when the likes of Nigella Lawson is there to teach me about the comforts of the kitchen? I know -- she's around the same age as my parents. Whatev. You saw that picture up there, right? Mmm hmm.

Christina Hendricks
*GAPE* Devastating. Whenever I see a new magazine spread featuring the radiant, talented Christina Hendricks I wonder: How have I avoided watching Mad Men? Serious. I know it'd be difficult to sit through the rampant sexism/racism/homophobia of the show, but Ms. Hendricks might just convince me to delve into those past seasons to revel in her portrayal of Joan Holloway.

And if readers needed additional proof of the power inherent to the hips, look no further than Amy Winehouse, Before/After:

I rest my case.

So, ladies -- are you a hip-woman? Maybe you're dedicated to Thunder Thighs like Mae Callen? What's your favourite feature when it comes to the female form?

EDIT (03/29/2010): I am a silly child. I forgot to mention Ms. Honey B herself, even after all her press over her music video tryst with Gaga herself. I make amends with two delightful photos for readers.

Beyoncé

Tunes for Tuesdays: Queerish Covers

I will state now: this edition of Tunes for Tuesdays is part of an on-going personal project o' mine. And, yes -- I am recruiting the help of readers across the Blogoverse for future editions.

I am hellbent on a specific manifestation of The Cover Song. Now, I know opinions differ when it comes to the nature of cover songs. Some see it as an unoriginal cop-out carried out for profits alone, others see it as a new avenue for creative re-interpretation of an original and respected track. I tend to belong to the latter category (depending on the cover song in question, of course).

But, I digress.

What's the "specific manifestation of The Cover Song" I refer to?

It is none other than the golden, shimmering example of women appropriating the tracks of male musicians while maintaining their original lyrics, thereby rendering the song "Queer." It is a delicious, illuminating creative endeavour I wish more women would experiment with.

Regular readers will recall their first brush with this concept when I explicated (in a wishful, deluded sense) all of KT Tunstall's abundant queer traits and tendencies. You know, despite her well-publicized hetero history. Hey, a girl can dream, am I right? Anyhow, I found three live performances in which Ms. Tunstall covers Bob Dylan's "Tangled Up In Blue," Jackson 5's "I Want You Back," and The Knack's "My Sharona" (performed with Keren Ann).

Each performance featured one refreshing quality -- rather than switching to male pronouns to denote the beloved, Ms. Tunstall kept the original female pronouns. In essence, I discovered KT Tunstall's general hotness increased in relation to her appropriation of a queer stage persona, at least for the length of those cover songs.

So, there is a correlation between female musicians and cover songs where female pronouns are maintained. Trust me. Trust the science.

Here for the aural pleasure of Cute, Queer, Canadians readers, I give you,

Covers with a Queer Edge:

The Bird and The Bee, "Sara Smile"

(Interpreting the Masters Vol. 1: A Tribute to Daryl Hall and John Oates, 2010)

Original: Hall & Oates, Daryl Hall & John Oates, 1975

"When I feel cold, you warm me/And when I feel I can't go on, you come and hold me/It's you and me forever/Sara Smile/Won't you smile a while for me" -- Mmm hmm. And props to Inara George, the sweetheart of the stage, for whirling through another concert while pregnant. She's a trooper. An insanely talented, driven trooper.

Amy Winehouse, "Valerie"

(Mark Ronson's Version, 2007)

Original: The Zutons, Tired of Hanging Around, 2006)

"Cos since I've come on home/Well my body's been a mess/And I've missed your ginger hair/ And the way you like to dress/Won't you come on over/Stop making a fool out of me/ Why don't you come on over Valerie?" Now, I am rather more partial to her acoustic cover of "Valerie." Click the link, be converted. It was the first time I'd heard Amy Winehouse sing and I was floored. And then, I was even more thrilled to find she added such lesbionic elements to a fantastic track.

PJ Harvey and Björk, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"

(Performed at the 1994 Brit Awards)

Original: The Rolling Stones, 1965

YESYESONEHUNDREDTIMEYES. All the awesome was sucked out from the world and injected into this single performance. PJ Harvey and Björk, FTW. I apologize to all other artists who followed these two because nothing could ever attain this level of sheer magnificence again. Never. Not possible.

Oh, and lyrics: "And I'm tryin' to make some girl/Who tells me baby better come back later next week/'Cause you see I'm on losing streak/I can't get no, oh no no no" The song was also covered by the likes of Diana Ross and The Supremes, Aretha Franklin, Cat Power, and Samantha Fox. Though, I have the suspicion these artists might have changed that "girl" to "boy" instead.

Garbage, "Don't Let Me Down"

**Could not find information concerning a single/release**

Original: The Beatles, Let It Be, 1970

Apologies for the rough cut, here. If the sources are correct, this is Edinburgh circa 1999. Serious, though, the information that counts is: Shirley Manson = Unrivaled and Utterly Badass. And yes, capital letters were required to convey that sentiment.

Lyrics: "And from the first time that she really done me/Oh, she done me, she done me good/I guess nobody ever really done me/Oh, she done me, she done me good." Perfection.

***

PARALYMPIC UPDATES:

See, now -- this is what happens when I take a few days off from the Internets. I am greeted with a complete and utter deluge of medal updates and the conclusion to the 2010 Paralympic Games. I need to set those books down every once in a while and not neglect the ol' computer so much. *Snickers at the obvious lie therein* Anyhow -- the final list of medal winners are:

• Viviane Forest, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super-G, Visually Impaired (Silver, March 19)
• Lauren Woolstencroft, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super-G, Standing (Gold, March 19)
• Lauren Woolstencroft, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super Combined, Standing (Gold, March 20)
• Karolina Wisniewska, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super Combined, Standing (Bronze, March 20)
• Viviane Forest, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super Combined, Visually Impaired (Silver, March 20)
• Jim Armstrong, Darryl Neighbour, Ina Forrest, Sonja Gaudet, Bruno Yizek, Wheelchair Curling, Mixed (Gold, March 20)
• Brian McKeever, Cross-Country Skiing - Men's 1 KM Sprint Classic, Visually Impaired (Gold, March 21)

And so, Team Canada's total medal count at the 2010 Paralympic Games: 19.

In total, Canada brought home 45 MEDALS from the Olympic Games overall. Somehow, I feel "outstanding" is an understatement. I like to think we've shed our usual humble attitudes and proved our athleticism. It's been a great stretch and I'm sad to see it all come to a close.

Meet you back here in two years for the Summer Games for some more eye candy-- I mean, stunning examples of the human spirit to persevere...? Against all odds? Yes?