Blessed are We in this Queer Week of Music...

… when the skies cracked open and the Goddess did lower a shining pair of headphones fitted for all the queer girls of this world.

I kidd-eth thee not, mere mortals—we are crashing through quite the blissful week for queer ears (when it comes to the music scene, of course). We started off with a glittery Grammy celebration, and we followed the fireworks up with a stunning array of new releases. I'm still recovering from the shock of great tracks, hence the late post.

But as you will discover, 'tis better late than never.

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Sunday, February 13/11: The 53rd Grammy Awards

Goodness glamoury—I do love the Grammys. And lo, true talent prevailed in the major award categories for the first time in decades. I know some reviewers termed the two big winners in question an "upset" to the natural order of the More Albums Sold = "Best" Artist reasoning, but I find it refreshing to see the academy push for more alternatives to the mainstream ear. Who ever decided an independent album is inferior to a major label's production? Ah, but the politics—one can never be free of 'em.

Anyhow, on to a rundown of the highlights:

Lady Gaga debuts her queertastic new single, "Born This Way"

Did anyone else feel Lady Gaga was channeling the Alien franchise with this entrance? Or, at least the Cocoon flicks? We all figured Gaga was another life form, so the comparisons seem appropriate. I know she was gunning for her last single, "Alejandro ", to be the definitive gay anthem of the new millennium (which still baffles me), but I do believe she's figured out the formula at last. Throughout the entire performance, I kept projecting myself into the 2011 Pride celebrations and you know for a fact—THIS SONG WILL DOMINATE THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JUNE AND BEYOND. Guaranteed. And, I admit, I will approve.

Janelle Monáe Upstages Her Fellow Up-and-Comers

…though, we all sort of expected that one, am I right? Monáe electrifies when she touches the microphone, and she doesn't need a black-and-white camera filter to achieve an old school, soul-inflected sound (*cough*brunomars*cough, cough*). Though, I give points to B.o.B. for rocking a monocle on stage—I do like his brand of rap, and I have to dedicate a piece of my heart to his duet with Paramore lead singer, Hayley Williams. And then he adds a monocle to the mix? Brilliant. But overall, the stage shuddered along with Monáe's "Cold War"—and now I know who I'm fightin' for.

Bob Dylan Amalgamates Mumford & Sons and The Avett Brothers

Behold the staggering influence of The Bob Dylan, able to consume the talents of new stars and put their powers to use on an old-timey stage. I wanted to highlight this performance because, A) I'd never seen Mumford & Sons perform before, and the lads seem awesome, B) Ditto for The Avett Brothers, and C) WOW, Bob Dylan—I cannot understand a word you utter. Before, you mumbled; now, you gurgle…? People call you a living legend, but are you really alive, or are you pre-zombified?

Cee Lo Out-Glams Gaga, and Gwyneth Paltrow Survives Epic Heels

I am not sure how this duo formed. I don't know that a clear answer exists. Despite the oddity, I loved the performance. How could one not love the brightest, queerest stage show of the night—a performance that managed to upstage Gaga's "Born This Way"? I mean, Cee Lo's feathers? A plethora of puppets for a band? Gwyneth Paltrow in the most dangerous-looking heels I've ever seen a straight gal descend from a staircase wearing? You ought to YouTube this one if you missed it. Quite the sideshow.

Esperanza Spalding snags Best New Artist Award in the First "Upset" of the Night

I never thought a talented artist winning an award could be deemed an "upset," but the Grammy reports prove otherwise. Esperanza Spalding bested the kaleidoscopic Florence & The Machine, the boisterous Mumford & Sons, and the young'uns from the North, Drake and Justin Bieber. True, it is a rare occurrence for a jazz musician to snag an award for Best New Artist, but Spalding proves to be a towering new talent.

ARCADE FIRE TAKES THE NIGHT!

Album of the Year winners, Arcade Fire, overturn the status quo of the Grammy night and prove artistry and independence trumps the big wheels of the music biz to the south. I know our household was ecstatic with the announcement, and with the sheer fact that Arcade Fire performed both "Month of May" and "Ready to Start" to round off the 53rd Grammy Awards. I imagine the kids in Montreal and Quebec in general are elated—Arcade Fire's The Suburbs bested Eminem's comeback album, Lady Antebellum's new country classic, Katy Perry's Top 40 knockout, and Lady Gaga's international behemoth. Heh, no pressure, right? CONGRATS, ARCADE FIRE!

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This Week in New Releases

Lady Gaga, "Born This Way" (Single)

Get out the glitter and all those rainbow flags, kids—Lady Gaga breaks the winter blues with a burst of Pride. Better start memorizing the lyrics now so you're up-to-speed once the June/July season rolls around.

PJ Harvey, Let England Shake (Album)

At last—a new shot of PJ Harvey for the stereo. I needed a good aural thrashing to start the week, and I am forever dedicated to Harvey's brand of brass. Let England Shake offers a dark dystopian treat for listeners harbouring a penchant for dictatorial swagger and iron-fisted guitar riffs. I do love music spiked with speculative fiction—the fact an album of this nature is coming from Harvey makes the combination that much sweeter.

k.d. lang and the Siss Boom Bang, "I Confess" (Single)

See what I mean, gay ladies? When I spotted a new k.d. lang single for sale, I knew we were being rewarded. On "I Confess", we are treated to lang in fine lamenting form— she confesses to the mistreatment of her lady love and begs for a second chance (um, and who would be daft enough to not offer her one million extra chances?) I would recommend updating your queer tracks now by adding "I Confess" to the mix—we've only got a handful of months before Pride, you know.

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*Dabs brow with a handkerchief*

Feels good to write an epic update for once, especially when it is of the music variety. I get distracted with new tracks and triumphant awards, and I often forget to comment on 'em.

You all can thank k.d. lang for this post.

Tunes for Tuesdays: Queerish Covers

I will state now: this edition of Tunes for Tuesdays is part of an on-going personal project o' mine. And, yes -- I am recruiting the help of readers across the Blogoverse for future editions.

I am hellbent on a specific manifestation of The Cover Song. Now, I know opinions differ when it comes to the nature of cover songs. Some see it as an unoriginal cop-out carried out for profits alone, others see it as a new avenue for creative re-interpretation of an original and respected track. I tend to belong to the latter category (depending on the cover song in question, of course).

But, I digress.

What's the "specific manifestation of The Cover Song" I refer to?

It is none other than the golden, shimmering example of women appropriating the tracks of male musicians while maintaining their original lyrics, thereby rendering the song "Queer." It is a delicious, illuminating creative endeavour I wish more women would experiment with.

Regular readers will recall their first brush with this concept when I explicated (in a wishful, deluded sense) all of KT Tunstall's abundant queer traits and tendencies. You know, despite her well-publicized hetero history. Hey, a girl can dream, am I right? Anyhow, I found three live performances in which Ms. Tunstall covers Bob Dylan's "Tangled Up In Blue," Jackson 5's "I Want You Back," and The Knack's "My Sharona" (performed with Keren Ann).

Each performance featured one refreshing quality -- rather than switching to male pronouns to denote the beloved, Ms. Tunstall kept the original female pronouns. In essence, I discovered KT Tunstall's general hotness increased in relation to her appropriation of a queer stage persona, at least for the length of those cover songs.

So, there is a correlation between female musicians and cover songs where female pronouns are maintained. Trust me. Trust the science.

Here for the aural pleasure of Cute, Queer, Canadians readers, I give you,

Covers with a Queer Edge:

The Bird and The Bee, "Sara Smile"

(Interpreting the Masters Vol. 1: A Tribute to Daryl Hall and John Oates, 2010)

Original: Hall & Oates, Daryl Hall & John Oates, 1975

"When I feel cold, you warm me/And when I feel I can't go on, you come and hold me/It's you and me forever/Sara Smile/Won't you smile a while for me" -- Mmm hmm. And props to Inara George, the sweetheart of the stage, for whirling through another concert while pregnant. She's a trooper. An insanely talented, driven trooper.

Amy Winehouse, "Valerie"

(Mark Ronson's Version, 2007)

Original: The Zutons, Tired of Hanging Around, 2006)

"Cos since I've come on home/Well my body's been a mess/And I've missed your ginger hair/ And the way you like to dress/Won't you come on over/Stop making a fool out of me/ Why don't you come on over Valerie?" Now, I am rather more partial to her acoustic cover of "Valerie." Click the link, be converted. It was the first time I'd heard Amy Winehouse sing and I was floored. And then, I was even more thrilled to find she added such lesbionic elements to a fantastic track.

PJ Harvey and Björk, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"

(Performed at the 1994 Brit Awards)

Original: The Rolling Stones, 1965

YESYESONEHUNDREDTIMEYES. All the awesome was sucked out from the world and injected into this single performance. PJ Harvey and Björk, FTW. I apologize to all other artists who followed these two because nothing could ever attain this level of sheer magnificence again. Never. Not possible.

Oh, and lyrics: "And I'm tryin' to make some girl/Who tells me baby better come back later next week/'Cause you see I'm on losing streak/I can't get no, oh no no no" The song was also covered by the likes of Diana Ross and The Supremes, Aretha Franklin, Cat Power, and Samantha Fox. Though, I have the suspicion these artists might have changed that "girl" to "boy" instead.

Garbage, "Don't Let Me Down"

**Could not find information concerning a single/release**

Original: The Beatles, Let It Be, 1970

Apologies for the rough cut, here. If the sources are correct, this is Edinburgh circa 1999. Serious, though, the information that counts is: Shirley Manson = Unrivaled and Utterly Badass. And yes, capital letters were required to convey that sentiment.

Lyrics: "And from the first time that she really done me/Oh, she done me, she done me good/I guess nobody ever really done me/Oh, she done me, she done me good." Perfection.

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PARALYMPIC UPDATES:

See, now -- this is what happens when I take a few days off from the Internets. I am greeted with a complete and utter deluge of medal updates and the conclusion to the 2010 Paralympic Games. I need to set those books down every once in a while and not neglect the ol' computer so much. *Snickers at the obvious lie therein* Anyhow -- the final list of medal winners are:

• Viviane Forest, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super-G, Visually Impaired (Silver, March 19)
• Lauren Woolstencroft, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super-G, Standing (Gold, March 19)
• Lauren Woolstencroft, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super Combined, Standing (Gold, March 20)
• Karolina Wisniewska, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super Combined, Standing (Bronze, March 20)
• Viviane Forest, Alpine Skiing - Women's Super Combined, Visually Impaired (Silver, March 20)
• Jim Armstrong, Darryl Neighbour, Ina Forrest, Sonja Gaudet, Bruno Yizek, Wheelchair Curling, Mixed (Gold, March 20)
• Brian McKeever, Cross-Country Skiing - Men's 1 KM Sprint Classic, Visually Impaired (Gold, March 21)

And so, Team Canada's total medal count at the 2010 Paralympic Games: 19.

In total, Canada brought home 45 MEDALS from the Olympic Games overall. Somehow, I feel "outstanding" is an understatement. I like to think we've shed our usual humble attitudes and proved our athleticism. It's been a great stretch and I'm sad to see it all come to a close.

Meet you back here in two years for the Summer Games for some more eye candy-- I mean, stunning examples of the human spirit to persevere...? Against all odds? Yes?

Tunes for Tuesdays: PJ Harvey

Ever since I declared my complete adoration for the fierce little ball of British glory that is PJ Harvey, I haven't been listening to any other music.

Serious.

I am frothing at the mouth in anticipation for her new album, A Woman A Man Walked By -- I am channeling all my energies into compelling the 'rents to purchase it as a Christmas present to me. (Or, to at least offer me a music-related gift certificate that will allow me to purchase it myself.)

In honour of my blind and rabid affection for Ms. Harvey and her glorious voice, I give you her latest single (with John Parish): "Black Hearted Love".

.... God, she even adds edge to giant, inflatable bouncy castles. I am impressed.

And I am entirely hers.

Tunes for [Wednes]days: PJ Harvey

PJ Harvey is pure, unfiltered sex with a British twist. And no, this is not up for debate. It's best to accept it now and pledge your undying love to her and her wicked guitar.

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I am convinced that PJ Harvey is the physical embodiment of rock 'n' roll. She is unapologetic in her attitude and she radiates this intense, hypnotic confidence that is addictive and delightful all at once. She's got this sly, little grin that let's you know she is in control and it's the best thing for you to sit back and drink in the submission.

And that voice -- she walks a fine line between a sexy snarl, a fierce shout, and an ethereal moan/wail that cuts right to the bone. Whether it's the blues-infused punk from her early years or the hushed, Victorian-inspired sound of her latest album, White Chalk (2007), the sass in her voice is the focal point of her tight compositions and her lust-worthy image.

Most fans out there will know Ms. Harvey for her first hit, "Sheela Na Gig" from the EP Dry (1992). I would argue she hit her stride with Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea (2000), a multinational success that was written in Dorset, Paris, and New York. The flavour of her travels through the massive urban centres of France and the U.S. are palpable in these tracks. The album mixes a lush, melodic pop flavour with her trademark grit and guitar-driven punk energy from her earlier albums. After selling one million copies worldwide, PJ Harvey won the prestigious Mercury Music Award the following year for this stunning album.

And it's all uphill from there.

On this Tunes for "Tuesdays" (if you will permit me to travel back in time this evening), I would like to introduce you to "This is Love." It's simple, straight-forward, and sinister in its sex appeal. When I said PJ Harvey is pure sex, I actually meant she IS sex. If you're doubtful, just follow the link to discover the truth for yourself: PJ Harvey, "This Is Love."

"I can't believe life's so complex when I just want to sit here and watch you undress."

Oh, you are SO welcome, ladies.

... And, in my research this evening, I have stumbled upon EPIC NEWS -- PJ Harvey released another album this year with John Parish titled A Woman a Man Walked By. I hadn't heard news of it until this evening. Girl, the Fates must be VERY happy with me, tonight.

Now all that's left to do is succumb to the PJ Harvey-lust.

Give in to the grit.