Lady Gaga Debuts First Video for Born This Way

GAGA—welcome back to the video world. Now, I imagine a few folks frequenting this blog know Lady Gaga whipped our crew into a tizzy with her new single, "Born This Way." It's been ages since a new, danceable, utterly queertastic anthem burnt through the stereo speakers, and I will be the first to celebrate Our Lady of Gaga for once again busting the closet door off its hinges.

But oh—that video.

Where? Where do I start? I am but one blogette still reeling from the glitz of the Oscars last night (which will earn its own post, just you kiddies wait).

Rather than attempting to explain said video, I will offer this blog space to debut what was hailed as Lady Gaga's first video for "Born This Way." I will offer this comment—I hope video number two turns out a bit more, well, queer-focused. Though, admittedly, an intro featuring a pink triangle with a glittery unicorn is fairly gay…

…Are we queers supposed to be the alien life forms birthed by a Metropolis-esque Gaga Mother Ship? And yes, I noticed the writhing group of ladies in the middle of all that shadowy dancing, but…hmm. Decidedly not hot.

For once, I am quite floored. I know Gaga is "out there," but I didn't think she would be out of the atmosphere with the inherent strangeness, per se. Granted, the inner sci fi nerd loved the tribute to Hollywood's Golden Age of otherworldly film, but I was anticipating a different kind of video. You know, one with awesome queer people in it—preferably making out. Like the song would suggest.

Though, after the confusing "Alejandro" video of last summer, I suppose this lyric/image incongruity is the norm now.

Hmm.

Thoughts? Anyone?

Explanations maybe?

Blessed are We in this Queer Week of Music...

… when the skies cracked open and the Goddess did lower a shining pair of headphones fitted for all the queer girls of this world.

I kidd-eth thee not, mere mortals—we are crashing through quite the blissful week for queer ears (when it comes to the music scene, of course). We started off with a glittery Grammy celebration, and we followed the fireworks up with a stunning array of new releases. I'm still recovering from the shock of great tracks, hence the late post.

But as you will discover, 'tis better late than never.

***

Sunday, February 13/11: The 53rd Grammy Awards

Goodness glamoury—I do love the Grammys. And lo, true talent prevailed in the major award categories for the first time in decades. I know some reviewers termed the two big winners in question an "upset" to the natural order of the More Albums Sold = "Best" Artist reasoning, but I find it refreshing to see the academy push for more alternatives to the mainstream ear. Who ever decided an independent album is inferior to a major label's production? Ah, but the politics—one can never be free of 'em.

Anyhow, on to a rundown of the highlights:

Lady Gaga debuts her queertastic new single, "Born This Way"

Did anyone else feel Lady Gaga was channeling the Alien franchise with this entrance? Or, at least the Cocoon flicks? We all figured Gaga was another life form, so the comparisons seem appropriate. I know she was gunning for her last single, "Alejandro ", to be the definitive gay anthem of the new millennium (which still baffles me), but I do believe she's figured out the formula at last. Throughout the entire performance, I kept projecting myself into the 2011 Pride celebrations and you know for a fact—THIS SONG WILL DOMINATE THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JUNE AND BEYOND. Guaranteed. And, I admit, I will approve.

Janelle Monáe Upstages Her Fellow Up-and-Comers

…though, we all sort of expected that one, am I right? Monáe electrifies when she touches the microphone, and she doesn't need a black-and-white camera filter to achieve an old school, soul-inflected sound (*cough*brunomars*cough, cough*). Though, I give points to B.o.B. for rocking a monocle on stage—I do like his brand of rap, and I have to dedicate a piece of my heart to his duet with Paramore lead singer, Hayley Williams. And then he adds a monocle to the mix? Brilliant. But overall, the stage shuddered along with Monáe's "Cold War"—and now I know who I'm fightin' for.

Bob Dylan Amalgamates Mumford & Sons and The Avett Brothers

Behold the staggering influence of The Bob Dylan, able to consume the talents of new stars and put their powers to use on an old-timey stage. I wanted to highlight this performance because, A) I'd never seen Mumford & Sons perform before, and the lads seem awesome, B) Ditto for The Avett Brothers, and C) WOW, Bob Dylan—I cannot understand a word you utter. Before, you mumbled; now, you gurgle…? People call you a living legend, but are you really alive, or are you pre-zombified?

Cee Lo Out-Glams Gaga, and Gwyneth Paltrow Survives Epic Heels

I am not sure how this duo formed. I don't know that a clear answer exists. Despite the oddity, I loved the performance. How could one not love the brightest, queerest stage show of the night—a performance that managed to upstage Gaga's "Born This Way"? I mean, Cee Lo's feathers? A plethora of puppets for a band? Gwyneth Paltrow in the most dangerous-looking heels I've ever seen a straight gal descend from a staircase wearing? You ought to YouTube this one if you missed it. Quite the sideshow.

Esperanza Spalding snags Best New Artist Award in the First "Upset" of the Night

I never thought a talented artist winning an award could be deemed an "upset," but the Grammy reports prove otherwise. Esperanza Spalding bested the kaleidoscopic Florence & The Machine, the boisterous Mumford & Sons, and the young'uns from the North, Drake and Justin Bieber. True, it is a rare occurrence for a jazz musician to snag an award for Best New Artist, but Spalding proves to be a towering new talent.

ARCADE FIRE TAKES THE NIGHT!

Album of the Year winners, Arcade Fire, overturn the status quo of the Grammy night and prove artistry and independence trumps the big wheels of the music biz to the south. I know our household was ecstatic with the announcement, and with the sheer fact that Arcade Fire performed both "Month of May" and "Ready to Start" to round off the 53rd Grammy Awards. I imagine the kids in Montreal and Quebec in general are elated—Arcade Fire's The Suburbs bested Eminem's comeback album, Lady Antebellum's new country classic, Katy Perry's Top 40 knockout, and Lady Gaga's international behemoth. Heh, no pressure, right? CONGRATS, ARCADE FIRE!

***

This Week in New Releases

Lady Gaga, "Born This Way" (Single)

Get out the glitter and all those rainbow flags, kids—Lady Gaga breaks the winter blues with a burst of Pride. Better start memorizing the lyrics now so you're up-to-speed once the June/July season rolls around.

PJ Harvey, Let England Shake (Album)

At last—a new shot of PJ Harvey for the stereo. I needed a good aural thrashing to start the week, and I am forever dedicated to Harvey's brand of brass. Let England Shake offers a dark dystopian treat for listeners harbouring a penchant for dictatorial swagger and iron-fisted guitar riffs. I do love music spiked with speculative fiction—the fact an album of this nature is coming from Harvey makes the combination that much sweeter.

k.d. lang and the Siss Boom Bang, "I Confess" (Single)

See what I mean, gay ladies? When I spotted a new k.d. lang single for sale, I knew we were being rewarded. On "I Confess", we are treated to lang in fine lamenting form— she confesses to the mistreatment of her lady love and begs for a second chance (um, and who would be daft enough to not offer her one million extra chances?) I would recommend updating your queer tracks now by adding "I Confess" to the mix—we've only got a handful of months before Pride, you know.

***

*Dabs brow with a handkerchief*

Feels good to write an epic update for once, especially when it is of the music variety. I get distracted with new tracks and triumphant awards, and I often forget to comment on 'em.

You all can thank k.d. lang for this post.

Tunes for Tuesdays: Karaoke Edition

I am dangerous around a karaoke machine. With a microphone in hand, and sanitized versions of 90s pop songs queued up, I will rock the faces off of all present.

I am the person who harmonizes while you're singing.

I am also the lovely lady who cheers for everyone who put themselves out there with their favourite song.

I am a Karaoke Queen.

***

So, I was inspired to write this post after Ship Sharp discussed one of her goals on her 101 in 1001 list. Ms. Ship wants to conquer karaoke, sober. As a rabid enthusiast of the form, I am SO THERE for a karaoke night. Serious. I'm a shy lady in most settings, and I would never dream of unleashing these vocals on others.... unless I am in a karaoke setting. I don't know what it is -- magic? fairy dust? roofies?

Who knows.

What I do know is my so-called "Golden List" -- without fail, these are the songs I will be falling over myself to sing. Given the nature of this blog (and the sheer volume of this list), I will focus on the top favourite female singers in my arsenal.

Sing along if you know the words....

Spice Girls, "Say You'll Be There"

Edit: Follow the link for a clearer version of the video --> WOOT!

Despite the poor video quality, the music evokes the eternal 11-year-old in me. Spice Girls are a staple of karaoke, that's just how it is. This one is fun for duets -- alternate who sings the verses, then tag team for the chorus. Spice Girls tracks are excellent for the warm-up to ease yourself into an all-night karaoke spree.

Lady Gaga, "Paparazzi"

Alright, so Gaga is a recent addition to the karaoke roster. "Paparazzi" suits my voice the most, though "Bad Romance" is a close second. I like this one for its slightly pompous edge and it's stalk-me glamour.

All Saints, "Pure Shores"

I know, it's a random one -- out of all the All Saints singles, I had to pick "Pure Shores." I'm not even sure how I stumbled across it as a karaoke classic for me. All I know is, the song fits my range and sounds awesome when it's one voice instead of four. Plus, it fulfills more of that 90s quota I require.

Faith Evans, "Love Like This"

Oh, Faith Evans -- what a gorgeous voice, and such an adorably danceable song. How can anyone feel upset after hearing this track? The happiness-inducing properties contained in the music make it an ideal selection for a night of karaoke with the gals.

Dusty Springfield, "Son of a Preacher Man"

Mmm, Dusty Springfield -- even if the song's about a dude, we all know Ms. Springfield dreamt of a gal all along. This song is irresistible, so be prepared to fight off all the other ladies if you've got your heart set on this number.

***

Margggh, there is not enough room in this post to outline all the tracks I'd want to do. It's at the point where I should just download karaoke versions of these songs to tide me over. At least I have a cold right now -- it prevents me from inflicting karaoke upon the world.

So, how about you, dear reader? What songs are on your Golden List? How hard would you fight to perform your favourite tracks?

Lady Gaga Hijacks The Internet

She needs no introduction.

With two teasers under the belt and another round of speculative first images scattered across the Internet, Lady Gaga has emerged from her half-concealment with the video for her newest single off The Fame Monster (2009), "Alejandro".

First: The Creation.

Second: The Reaction.

• Open shot: AWESOME. I like me some gender attributes bended. Fishnets and weaponry seems a fine combination.
• It appears the militaristic pop image has quite returned. First, it was Beyonce with her Totalitarian Lite in Video Phone and her Grammy night performance. Of course, Gaga pushes it to a more extreme angle and offers Fascist Fashion for her own scene.
• Right, the initial bit of choreography with the gents leaves a clever impact. It's impressive, startling, and tight with a crisp note of fear at the edges. Honest first thought: "Whoa, this is intense with that backlight and the blue tones. Hmm.... I wonder what this looked like at rehearsals with the bright lights, mirrors, and dance clothes. Not so tough, I imagine."
• GAGA and the Goggles = FLAWLESS. She works the Dieselpunk look to the utter maximum. The stark contrast between the dark lenses and the white glitter of her eye shadow is gorgeous, might I add.
• I'm sensing a fascination with death throughout her videos. Seems appropriate to charter funeral territory in a music video, now.
• Who else is expecting sales for pipes to skyrocket after this? I don't even smoke and, well, I am considering it. It could be a rather exquisite paperweight at the office.
• Where are the hot women for me to ogle? I see a lot of fit, trim gents with bad bowl cuts but this does not fulfill the same requirement. I suppose I got spoiled with the Sapphic overload from Telephone.
• Yes, I know the lyrics are about more than one gent. But, serious, this is Gaga -- she could figure out where to put a woman or two in a video.
• I am impressed with the rapid splicing between Lady Gaga in a fetishistic nun outfit and a bunch of back-up dancers writhing on and against beds. I sense there are interpretive layers to this somewhere. I have yet to stumble across them.
• Note: I dig the short hair on her and I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm a queer woman.
• Well, alright, perhaps it has a lil' bit to do with being queer.
• Serious, I can't get over the fact that her dancers have bowl cuts. Bowl cuts? BOWL CUTS. Gaga, do not be responsible for bringing them back.
• Commence tribute to predecessor, Madonna. It's a delightful nod even while it's a clear statement Gaga's taken the reins and will not be parting with them for some time yet.
• Second Note: Is it just me, or is there a strange Cabaret vibe to all this? Perhaps it's the Nazi-esque fashion combined with the dance steps. Hmm. Quite.
• MACHINE GUN BRA. Who needs cones when a lady can leave the house with her chest packin'?
• Let me go on the record and state: Lady Gaga in dark glasses, a leather jacket, and little else is quite stunnin'.
• I'm curious to know responses to the gent watching Gaga and her dancers around the 7 minute mark. It's such a complex look. It starts with a mix of disgust and seething anger even while it readjusts into a dark, sinister desire. It seems that moment is meant to be the linchpin of the video, so, naturally, I would like to hear opinions on that one.

Thus concludes the "Alejandro" walkthrough for the evening.

I admit, I have not been wooed by the likes of "Alejandro" -- though, I admit, he's at a vast disadvantage. *Snark*

In all seriousness, the song itself has never appealed to me. I understand where folks are coming from when I stumble across mash-ups of Lady Gaga with Ace of Base. It's not got the same spark to it her other singles have. I can't quite name it. The video, of course, is epic and full of conversation topics to fuel posts for the rest of this week.

But, I turn to you, dear readers -- what say ye? Did she hit the mark once again?

Discuss.

Lady Gaga vs. Beyonce: Round Two

INITIATE WORLD DOMINATION: GO.

Oh, where to start with the comments? I am on sweet Gaga overload. I cannot recall a music video with more hype surrounding it -- I was hooked on the stills from the last month, not gonna lie. Our patience has been rewarded.

Comments:

• If this is an accurate representation of prison life, then I ought to start committing crimes.
• 1:09 - Gaga proves the multiple uses of duct tape.
• Cigarette glasses = Smokin' hot. Heh, puns.
• Gaga appeases her queer fan base with an epic make-out session with the resident stone cold butch hottie on the yard. So, there -- I am pleased as punch with her efforts thus far. And the song hasn't even started yet.
• Product placement: WOW. I shudder at the price advertisers would have paid for inclusion in this mini-movie. I laughed when the camera zoomed in on the Virgin Mobile cellphone twice. Just hits you over the head with that one.
• CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHTTTTT!! WHITE TANK TOP!! QUEER-LOOKING WOMEN!! LOOP THIS SCCCENEEE!
• (I know, I am crass and low brow.)
• 3:18-4:23 - I couldn't hear the music over the sound of my lust. I apologize. In all seriousness, I find it awe-inducing how Gaga can still exude an attitude of complete dominance and control even when she's objectifying herself. It's like she's saying, "Take a real close look 'cause you ain't gettin' it." As I said, awe-inducing.
• Caution tape wardrobe -- Lady Gaga teaches us that "reuse" is as important as "recycle" and "reduce."
• Pussy Wagon?? Pussy Wagon. Sweet damn, Pussy Wagon.
• B-movie turn with the dialogue and the general plot is approved of here at Cute, Queer, Canadian. I mean, you remember the fuss I made with Bitch Slap, correct?
• After Beyonce's segment in the song, I started realizing this video is not about the music. Perhaps that was blatant from the start, but, it became far more noticeable at this point. I love the song... and yet it is the least important part of the video.
• Note to Self: Extras in Lady Gaga videos tend to die. Do NOT star in a Lady Gaga video.
• Lunch lady and glittery lads? Beyonce donning her military gear for the trillionth time? I feel there should be action figures made for this video...
• Revised Note: Dancers seem to survive the wrath of Gaga. Schedule dance lessons to start next week.
• Americana garb -- whenever I see it, I wonder what a Canadian version would look like and it makes me laugh. Every time.
• I quite like the Thelma and Louise end to this video. I'm a little curious about the archaic, full-bodied, Southern-ish dresses donned by Lady Gaga and Beyonce, but -- well, when viewed in the context of the rest of this piece, I am inclined to not give a hoot.

To recap: Mind blown. Will dedicate all clubbing nights to the might of Lady Gaga and Beyonce (though, I don't believe that was ever in question).

I dub this experience well worth the wait.

The Glittery Girls of the 2010 Grammys

Great Golden Grammys, ladies -- the glitter's dropped and the glamour's still hanging in the air around these parts. I guess the 52nd time's a charm, right?

It was quite the evening for The First Ladies of our current pop culture climate. A new record was set and an entire evening of entertainment and mass spectacle was lavished on audiences across the continent.

Recession? Utter nonsense -- based on the grandeur of the live acts and the unbelievable number of costume changes, it seems our economy is on the rebound. Or heck, perhaps we all struck oil while running our faucets some time last night.

In either case, it was a blinding affair and a memorable one to boot.

Lady Gaga kicked off the evening and threatened to steal the entire show. I mean, that's some serious business right there. I think Lady Gaga defines the term "spectacle," so it's quite the statement to launch a show with her presence. As promised, Lady Gaga delivered a theatrical performance including a ring-master/executive who commanded a crowd of factory workers/dancers to create Gaga, The Fame Monster. She opened with "Poker Face" before she was cast into the "Rejected" section of the "Fame Factory." (Serious, YouTube this one).

Lady Gaga, Pre-destruction

The on-stage contraption opened to reveal a nightmarish, melded piano (with those clawed hands we're all so fond of) -- however, Lady Gaga had another ace hidden under those glittery layers. In fact, she launched into a duet with Sir Elton John, another performer who gained notoriety in his time through flashy outfits and equally captivating, catchy albums.

If Lady Gaga wasn't a queer favourite before, I think she's cemented her place as of last night. In addition to a fanciful performance, Lady Gaga also walked away with two awards for her efforts (Best Dance Recording, Best Electronic/Dance Album.)

If you were wondering where all the other awards disappeared to last evening, just check Beyonce's bag. Serious, she owned the Grammys on numerous levels. To start, Beyonce broke the record for number of Grammy's awarded to a female performer in one evening. In case you were counting, that's SIX statuettes (Song of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Best Female R&B Vocal Performance, Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance, Best R&B Song, Best Contemporary R&B Album).

To finish, Beyonce added her might to an evening of powerful, shock 'n' awe performances headed by women. She sang a rousing, hair-tousled rendition of "If I Were A Boy" (which I still have issues with on a lyrical level, but that's for another post). And, much to my eager surprise, she wove in a little bit of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know." It was surreal to see Beyonce strutting with a more rock-pop image but, hey, I am not one to complain.

Did anyone pick up on the Xena: Warrior Princess vibe of her outfit? There's a definite echo there of the original outfit worn by Lucy Lawless. I mean, a one-piece leather corset/skirt combo, all studded and impractical for battle? Don't you just want to drool all over it?

Come on, I know you want to. Oh, and speaking of random thoughts -- I've noticed Beyonce's developing... shall we say, an "affection" for militaristic imagery throughout her live act and her videos. The number opened with Beyonce leading a special ops corps or some such collective. Interesting use of tactical man-props, if I do say so myself.

All bow to the Siren Tyrant.

Of course, a discussion of the 2010 Grammy Awards would not be complete without mentioning the young Taylor Swift. The new sweetheart of the country charts set her own record last night as she won a total of four awards on her first trip to the Grammys. She even took home the coveted Album of the Year Award for Fearless. She beat out Beyonce, the favourite for the award, and even toppled the likes of Lady Gaga to get it. I know the online debates are raging as to whether Ms. Swift "deserved" the award or not, but, when it boils down to it, the debates mean nothing -- she won it and that's how it is.

And, to make a grand night even better for the young singer, she even got to share the stage with the iconic Stevie Nicks. Not a bad start to a Grammy-studded future, I'd imagine.

Now, before I ask readers to dedicate the next few hours to a detailed rundown of the entire evening, I will cut it short and leave you with images from Pink's stunning performance. I held off from posting videos since they're all being pulled off YouTube faster than I can write this at the moment. But, serious, you NEED to watch her performance. She sang "Glitter in the Air," and, well.... that's all the explanation you need.

Pink sittin' pretty with a bronzed acrobat/gymnast.

*Can't... form... sentences...*

For a complete rundown of Grammy winners and nominees, check out the official website over here --> 2010 Grammy Awards.

So, Grammys: Hit or Miss? Did you check 'em out and pine after America's top female performers or did you boycott the affair? Or maybe you didn't know/didn't care that the Grammys were on?

Negotiating the Space Between Beyonce and Lady Gaga

I know -- I'm a little shocked I'm making this post, too.

Beyonce? Lady Gaga? A Duel of the Divas? What the heck are you on about, Miz Moffatt?!

Bear with me on this one. Last night, I saw the highly anticipated video for Beyonce's latest single, "Video Phone," from her album I Am... Sasha Fierce. I think I'm behind on the times, though, and I believe this video has been circulating the Internet for quite some time now. Still, it's taken me awhile to come around to it.

I have to be honest -- Beyonce and Lady Gaga are guilty pleasures of mine. On the one hand, you've got the powerhouse, bold-voiced, full-of-sass Diva. On the other, you've got the eccentric, edgy, "not-sure-if-you're-hot-or-disturbing" Diva. And now, they've decided to share screen time/radio waves with one another.

The end result:

I will be the first to admit that the concept of "Video Phone" is questionable. The alter-ego of an international superstar is advocating for amateur camera play. I mean... that's the gist of the song. All that aside, I do like the sound of the music. It's a little wide-eyed and other-worldly, maybe even a little bit stoned-sounding. Definitely catchy to this blogette right here, even if the content is sketchtastic.

Anyhow, a few observations:

• Intro: YES. This is what the video SHOULD have been like. I dig the assassin vibe and the whole Reservoir Dogs look of Ms. B's back-ups. Sounds like a showdown which appeals to me. And then....
• ... The man with the camera head appears. Oh no. And then the gents persist through the rest of the video. If I needed a better reason to be queer, that image alone provided one.
• Was it just me, or did you get dizzy watching those three Beyonces dancing while the two ghost Beyonces hovered and lip-synched in the background?
• Question: Why are there so many toy guns throughout the video? I think they must have cleaned out a Toys R' Us for the shoot.
• Right, I like the military swagger of Beyonce throughout the track. Again, not sure what meaning is held therein, but, well, it illustrates why I like a tough femme.
• Lady Gaga: She dominates the scene. I know she has a small part in the song/video, but her presence is so much larger than Beyonce's which I was surprised to see. I mean, Lady Gaga has the equivalent of a cameo in this production and she outshines the star. I am sensing even greater things from this woman in the near future, kids.
• Pin-up Beyonce: A+
• How awkward is that ending? Would you call that sound panting? A groaning of some kind? It goes on far too long. Actually, scratch that -- it should just not have happened. Ever.

So yes -- mixed reactions abound. And now I must go and nurse the shame I feel for admitting my secret music guilt to the Blogoverse at large. Forgive me. *Sobs*