Retro Post

It's Retro Night here at Cute, Queer, Canadian. There are detailed, modern posts in the works for the week ahead, but I thought a little retro action would be fun as well.

This post hearkens back to the old LiveJournal account. I maintained that space for the length of those undergrad years after which I abandoned it for this delightful, very gay format. I created a series of semi-secret, "Q Cru" posts as an outlet for all the gaieties of third- and fourth-year.

And now, I invite readers to scan over one of the cuter posts from back then.

This one was written October 9th, 2007 after a quick jaunt to the local, on-campus convenience store for some sweets. *Teehee*

***

Despite my awful hair day (and I do mean AWFUL..... as in, I already need another hair cut and it's only the start of October)........ but yes, DESPITE that nonsense --

I came within inches of becoming the knight(ess?) to a couple of British ladies who couldn't get the finicky doors to the East apartments open. Mmm hmmm!

As I was approaching the doors (on my way for candy.... and yes, it was well worth the trip for some chocolate-covered ju jubes. Haha, so much sugar), my little ears picked up the British accent. *Sigh* They were laughing over the fact that neither of them could move the key/pick the RIGHT key for the lock. So, naturally, being the lovely girl that I am, I arrived just in the nick of time to help them out of this little jam *Devil horns rise from under her glowing halo*

All I needed was the "So-rreh, cud you open tha daah fahr'us?" (or, "Sorry, could you open the door for us" to anyone who doesn't speak 'British phonetics'). And I was JUST about to unlock the door when some guy came down the stairs, saw us all standing there, and then pushed the door open for us. Whatever, buddy. Thanks. Those were not YOUR British girls. Geeze. :p

.... If I had beaten him to the door, I would have let them go first and totally played the gentleman. ;)

***

Ah, the younger Moffatt. I do miss that aspect of school. I miss those random crushes you'd discover across campus or through classes and such. The adult world does not seem to encourage this as readily. I think we could gain quite a lot if we returned to those giggly, bubbly days.

*Content sigh*

Poppin' In

Right -- I've not got much time here. Alas, lovelies. I admit, I'm a tad startled -- I mean, the official last post on this blog was Friday and I have missed writing here ever since.

I'm in the middle of compiling Christmas gifts and wading through the unbelievable amount of "GREAT IDEAS!" I had while planning out said presents. What I didn't take into consideration was the time frame to complete said ideas. I tend to underestimate work and it always surprises me last minute.

But, OH GOODNESS -- I've got some pretty wicked ideas this year, not gonna lie. I can't even go into detail about it all because three of the kids who read this blog regularly are receiving one of these brilliant packages. Muahaha....

Anyhow, weekend recap:

• Saw Ship Sharp in another Fly By Night Theatre production; She represented for queer girls everywhere and took on the role of a somewhat cynical porn shop cashier who just so happens to like the ladies. Brilliant performance, as always (though, that was never in question)
• Laughed like mad at the company's take on This is a Play by Daniel MacIvor. If you want to check out Canadian theatre at its finest (come on, I know you do!) then check out MacIvor. He commands language with such sharp humour and has such an off-beat, strange view of the world. Love it!
• Was caught out for maybe, sorta, kinda crushing just a little on Ship Sharp's co-star and "Gay-for-Play" theatre friend.... *Blush* I know, I can't help it -- I always take a shine to the straight ones. In my defense, Ship Sharp informed me that even she has a "girl crush" on her co-star, so, I am absolved as far as I'm concerned. *Wink*
• Tucked into a huge plate of nachos with a great crowd of kids and relaxed with an excellent pint of beer. Oh yeah, indulgence at its finest.
• On Saturday, went for the second fitting for my bride's maid dress. Need it cinched in a tad at the chest, otherwise it is flawless. Operated on little sleep -- got to bed at 3 am and was up and active at 9 am. Ha, I am a trooper. Or, I have an illness...
• In the evening, had the Moffatt clan over to celebrate my Dad's birthday. I assembled a Caesar salad (complete with homemade croutons) and we ordered some pizza. Had an awesome time joking with the crowd and then hanging out with the Brother, the future Brother-in-Law, and the Youngest Cousin. Yeah, Miz Moffatt hangs out with the lads at family gatherings.
• On Sunday, I tackled Round Two of Christmas shopping. Oi. I am spending so much cash. I haven't updated my Excel spreadsheet all month because I am pretty sure it will induce vomiting and weakness in the wallet. Oh, and occasional fainting spells as well. Mmm hmm.

So yes! Lots going on. And I've got a Ladies in Writing meeting on Wednesday. And also, Chantal returns from Scotland this week.

I seriously will not have a moment to breathe until January 2nd, more than likely.

I will channel all the holiday cheer I can and submission wrestle the season.

Mark my words.

Odds and Ends and Checkin' Ins

I thought I should check in with the ladies this evening. I mean, it's been quite a while since I sat down and took stock. We've got the impressive successes, the celebrations, the sudden illnesses, and a whole lot more in between.

It's best we start as soon as possi--

1. Erin Karpluk wins Best Actress Award at the 2009 Geminis: Yes, the absolute darling of the CBC (and one of the members of my Harem) was recognized for her charming and complex portrayal of Erica Strange on Being Erica. Congrats to Ms. Karpluk for the well-deserved recognition. You can catch her hit show on the CBC (Tuesdays, 9 PM), or check out older episodes over at the CBC's website.

2. Maggie Gyllenhaal celebrated yet another gorgeous birthday on Nov. 16: Well, Happy (Belated) Birthday, special lady. And, if that wasn't perfect enough, I found out Ms. Gyllenhaal is making an appearance on Sesame Street this year to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the classic children's show. See: Photo evidence above. Too adorable for words.

3. The Governor General's Award for Fiction (English): Alas -- Annabel Lyon did not win the award for her book, The Golden Mean. Well, she's still got two shots at winning some of Canada's illustrious literary prizes. Still, what an excellent honour that would have been for a first-time novelist. The award went to Kate Pullinger for The Mistress of Nothing. I suppose I ought to read this novel if it won out against Canada's newest Golden Girl of the Written Word.

4. The trailer for the upcoming film, Bitch Slap, magically appeared when I first opened the Internet this morning. Serious. I didn't set out looking for it. It came TO ME. And now, it comes to you, too.

Ah, trash films with gorgeous women -- my inner feminist cannot process it. Nor does she particularly want to. I get the impression this trailer sums up the film in its entirety. Still -- Zoe Bell is in it. I will watch it. (P.S. -- Don't you love that I followed a comment about Canadian literature with a trailer for a modern remake of a B-movie exploitation film? Yeah, I thought you'd be impressed.)

5. Had a dream about my work crush last night, the first one ever. Hey -- minds out of the gutter. It revolved around us on a date at a posh restaurant. Patrons could pay one price and get whichever five entrees/desserts they preferred. I remember pouring over the menu with her and sampling a large selection of delicious items. There was a dark chocolate lava cake with edible flowers all sprinkled across it. Very romantic, even if it was all fictional.

6. The Advocate and Ship Sharp are sick at the moment. It's confirmed -- the ladies have been H1N1'd. *Pout* I've sent them all my well wishes and have focused all my health particles into wavelengths in order to will them out of their illness. I hope it works, I miss them. *Pouts again*

At-Work Crush and Catwoman: OH MY!

I have a bit of a confession to make -- I've been nursing an at-work crush for the last few months now. I know, I know -- how did I neglect to mention this earlier, especially considering this a blog dedicated to the loveliness of ladies the world over?

There are numerous reasons for my silence:

• She is married, a mother.... and quite straight. I have deduced this from the varied conversations in which she discusses said husband.
• I know her through work and I tend to keep the private and public spheres as separate as possible.
• I hate admitting to crushes on straight girls because I know it will go nowhere, even while another side of me is calculating the chances I have to lure her away from the boys for good...

I have resisted the urge to discuss her adorable French-Canadian accent, her insistence on parking beside my car every day without fail, and her tendency to chat with me more than our co-workers even though the nature of our jobs keep us on opposite sides of the office.

It's enough to get a gay girl's heart a-flutter.

And then, she had to go and find one of the hottest costumes to wear for the unofficial Hallowe'en office bash. 

Catwoman. 

And not just any Catwoman, but the Catwoman made famous by Julie Newmar -- as in, the reason I watched reruns of the 1960s, live-action Batman as much as I did when I was a young'un.

An additional note about this office crush of mine -- she tends to wear her hair up all the time. It's a tight, clean look and very professional. Today? Oh, she let her hair down. Picture it: gorgeous waves of chestnut hair spilling across her shoulders and two cute cat ears perched on the crown of her head.... Sheer radiance, I tell you.

Hallowe'en proves, yet again, why it reigns supreme as THE GREATEST HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR.

Lovers of Literature

I realized just now that this will mark the first post where I share a real-life crush with all you lovely readers out there.

Ooh, pressure's on.

Right, so -- poetry class. I signed myself up for this creative writing course during the second year of my undergrad degree (Winter 2006). I was bubbly and bright-eyed at the thought of meeting other writers and sharing collections of poems and just generally exploring the English language for the sport of it.

And there she was.

I get distracted easily, it would appear.

She was a year older than me, a theatre major with a penchant for Shakespeare's Ophelia, and.... she had this pesky boyfriend by the name of Mark. *Mumble, grumble* I guess I can't complain too much, though -- I met her while I was in the middle of a brief experimentation with the hetero world. I suppose you could say my crush on her helped me confirm my queerness. (I know, she was THAT gorgeous, if you can imagine.)

On Tuesday afternoons, I was given the gift of three precious, poetry-laden hours with the Girl Wonder herself. From January to April, she and I sat beside one another and exchanged verse filled with our fantasies, our insecurities, and other aspects of our private lives. She tried to convince me of the merits of Margaret Atwood (who is still my sworn literary enemy, FYI) and I tried to convince her that girls were far hotter than boys. 

Alright, that last one is a lie -- it's what I wanted to do, trust me. But heck, to be the semester confidante of a girl like that was still a nice concession. And getting to share poetry with her on a weekly basis only helped to sweeten the deal.

And hey, she also taught me the sheer hotness that home-made Valentine's gifts can be. That year, she made a sensual board game for her boyfriend that ended with -- SURPRISE! Sex. I believe her direct description was "That way, EVERYONE WINS." *Melts*

I lost touch with her once our notebooks were shut for the semester, though. Ah, the tragedy, the lament! It's the stuff of epic poems.... or, well, at least an angst-ridden sonnet or two. I saw her in one or two other English lectures, but we were running with two different crowds and never seemed to cross paths again. Still, I look back on those times with a grin and a twirly heart, no doubt.

And, on an odd twist -- I saw her once again on stage at the 2007 GQE Kink Night performing in a burlesque show with another one of my major undergrad crushes. 

See? Maybe not all tragedies end in tears. No, sometimes, they end with partial nudity and a seductive, public striptease. 

I would definitely recommend the latter.