No. 1: Natalie Portman

Name: Natalie Portman

Date of Birth: 9 June, 1981

Hometown: Jerusalem, Israel/New York City, New York

Selected Career Credits:

• New York, I Love You (2008)... Rifka ("Mira Nair")
• The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)... Anne Boleyn
• Paris, je t'aime (2006)... Francine ("Faubourg Saint-Denis")
• V for Vendetta (2005)... Evey
• Closer (2004)... Alice
• Garden State (2004)... Sam

Harem Role: Head of the Harem Proper/ Chief Launderer

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And here she is, the Golden Child of the Harem Proper. At long last, after about... three weeks of my teasing, we have reached the absolute pinnacle of hotness (well, according to my preferences, of course) and she is -- Natalie Portman.

Think about it:

• Overflowing with a natural, effortless talent for the dramtic arts
• Balances eloquence and grace with an equally adorable nerdiness
• Put her career on hold to obtain a bachelor's degree in Psychology.... FROM HARVARD
• Is a high-profile vegetarian and is an outspoken advocate for animal rights
• Travelled to Uganda, Guatemala, and Ecuador as the Ambassador of Hope for FINCA International
• Oh, and -- SHE'S SMOKIN' HOT.

Can't forget that last one, you know. Serious, though -- she's the kind of girl that intimidates the HELL out of me... which only makes me love and adore her even more.

I can still pinpoint the exact moment I became infatuated with the lovely Ms. Portman. I was only 11-years-old, smack dab in the middle of the Awkward Years. I was given a subscription to Seventeen magazine and was excited each month to flip through the high-gloss pages and dream of the day when I would be a ~teenager~ at last. What a glorious notion at the time.

I remember unfurling one particular issue of Seventeen with a cover that would brand itself into my mind and lay the groundwork for my future Harem.

Ladies and... well, ladies -- it was this exact photo of Natalie Portman that found its way to my mailbox on that fateful afternoon:

I know -- it's a simple headshot of a girl who was not a star, not quite yet. But I remember being so taken with her when I first saw the image. I had that breathless moment, a moment 

amplified by the fact I was nowhere close to even being out to myself. I was debating if I should include this photo in this particular post -- I mean, she's a young'un in that picture and I wanted to celebrate Ms. Portman as she is here and now. But this photo reminds me of those early days of my own self-discovery and I see it as one of those important markers in my coming out process. 

I mean, with that kind of legacy, is it any wonder she's my go-to gal?

Since that single moment back in grade 6, Natalie Portman has managed to orbit around the most influential periods in my life. I watched her in the newer Star Wars flicks through the ups and downs of high school living; I saw Closer in theatres around the time I was first accepting my queerness; I watched Garden State at a Sunday night cinema with the two guys who would become my closest allies during my undergrad; I spent St. Patrick's Day in 2005 walking 2 and a half hours back from seeing V for Vendetta -- it also happened to be the same moment I realized my one real try at the hetero-lifestyle was not going to click, ever. 

It's like the universe was pointing a giant, glowing arrow at Natalie Portman and saying, "YOU ARE SO GAY, MIZ MOFFATT, JUST ADMIT IT ALREADY."

Haha, this is turning into quite the origin rant. I hadn't intended on that, honestly. But, I suppose that proves why Natalie Portman is the uncontested Queen of the Harem Proper.

Alright -- that's my ramblin' for this evening. I shall leave you with some Portman gems for you to glance over. Please, do revel in the wonder that is NP. 

 I vote she wears her hair short from now on... serious, now.

OHHHH, the pink wig....I'm surprised I was able to walk out of the theatre after seeing that film. All you need is Clive Owen out of the scene, and it's perfect. 

I defy you to watch this clip and NOT fall wildly in love with Natalie's darker side. I mean, look at her -- she's feisty, frenetic, and she's frontin' a group of lovely ladies. I swear, she is perfect... and also apparently badass.

I was an English major/history minor during my undergrad and, when I found this picture, my head nearly exploded across the reams and reams of lecture notes strewn about my room.

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And thus concludes the epic profiles dedicated to the gorgeous, radiant women of Miz Moffatt's Harem. Stop by the villa sometime for a visit -- make sure to bring your Harem with you, too.