Harem Rankings: A Rough Guide

Overall, The Harem can be divided into three main categories:

• The Harem Proper
  
• Qualification Camp
  
• Re-Qualification Camp
  

The Harem Proper

In the first category, members have achieved full Harem titles and privileges. Since Chantal and I will be living in a Spanish villa/palace once we have found suitable real estate, these Harem members are entitled to their own suites within our lavish abode. 

As a general rule, the Number One Harem Member must oversee all laundry duties for the opposing Harem (i.e. Taylor Hanson of Chantal's Harem is in charge of my Harem's laundry). The Number Two Harem Member is in charge of training Qualification Camp neophytes and re-training fallen Harem Members. All other Harem Members are given various titles/duties based on their talents and areas of interest. 

Rankings are subject to change at the discretion of either myself or Chantal (and trust me -- we will literally discuss Harem additions/shuffles for hours on end, if need be)

Qualification Camp

Potential members seeking Harem status are enrolled into our Qualification Camp training program. The Number Two Harem Member is responsible for introducing neophytes to the Inner Sanctum of Hotness and applying rigorous training practices to ensure each newbie is prepared for Harem life. 

Individuals invited to Qualification Camp are NOT guaranteed a position within the Harem Proper. Their success is based on their accolades and past successes, the calibre of their present and future career choices, and their continued adherence to all things hot.

Qualification Camp Members are housed in a comfortable, lavish pool house on the villa compound. Upon successful completion of the training program, neophytes are invited into the villa itself and will have a rank and title assigned to them. Should a Qualification Camp Member fail in their training courses, the individual will be removed from the compound until further notice.

Re-Qualification Camp

Members of the Harem Proper are bound to fall or falter. We are human -- mistakes will be made, public errors will arise, and hotness will wane. On occasion, members require re-training and will subsequently receive "refresher" courses to boost their hotness once again. However, should their hotness drop below acceptable levels, said member will be removed from the compound until further notice.

Re-Qualification Camp Members are relegated to a shack at the furthest end of the villa compound. A large weeping willow tree protects them and feeds off of their tears at night. Quite a pretty sight, is it not?

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So there -- consider yourself informed. And, on that note, I do believe it's time for Harem introductions all around.