Awkward Office Moments: Round One

Here it is -- the first installment of Awkward Office Moments starring Miz Moffatt.

As a more than half 'in' lesbian, navigating the public realm and the working world can be a daunting one. I've been outside the protective university bubble for just over a year now and it still amazes me how subtle yet pervasive traditional ideas can be.

A bit of background: in the last year, I've been laid off twice. My Mom managed to get me a summer contract position at her office and I am currently the Rebate Queen at a major pool manufacturing office. Essentially, I screen all the rebate claims pouring in to our office and decide if the customer meets all of our requirements or not. Yes = MONEY! No = Rejection letter and the potential hassle of an irritated customer.

My Mom and I get along well -- she's an accountant and we share similar work ethics/approaches to projects (which makes sense considering she instilled many of my anal retentive habits when it comes to filing). Anyhow, it's a tricky environment to navigate -- I'm the daughter of a full-timer. Right away, co-workers deal with me as an adult would a child despite the fact that I'm 23. As a result, I often find myself up against some rather invasive questions into my personal life, namely my love life. Granted, I assume most women would enter into these discussions in any office. It's one of those topics to debate, mull over, and all that jazz. In my case, since I am also thoroughly single, I tend to become the target of The Office Matchmaker rather quickly.

Lo, that is where I found myself this morning.

Mom was showing me a cover story from The Globe and Mail -- I can't quite remember the title, but it was some clever pun on a single farmer and how difficult it was to find a wife. Something about 'heartbroken in the heartland'....? Was it that blatant? Hmm, can't quite recall. Anyhow, Mom was pointing it out for the sake of making the "I dislike your sister's current boyfriend and think she should marry a good, hard-working man who will treat her well" argument. And hey, what better guy than a Quebecois farmer, right?

As Mom was showing me this article, I could feel The Office Matchmaker (hereby known as "The OM") tugging at my arm. I ignored her and kept sorting through the mail. The OM continued -- "Ooooh, a single guy who works the land? What a catch he would be, hmmmmm?" I respond with an awkward chuckle, averted eyes, and more mail shuffling.

She continues: "Oh, look at her, she's trying to ignore me, now. She doesn't want to admit in front of her Mom that she would be all over a guy like that if he walked into the room. And he's French, too. He speaks the language of ~love~ right there." I start sorting through the mail faster in an attempt to escape.

I see two epic issues with this office moment:

1. The OM kept on pushing, regardless of the fact that I would not take the bait.
2. The OM tried to get me to evaluate/check out a man WHILE MY MOM WAS THERE.

I mean, she doesn't know I'm gay, so I can excuse the whole "it's WRONG for a girl your age to be without a man!" mentality -- but, really? In front of my Mom? Like.... what?? Seriously? Seriously. 

I wanted so badly to just respond with the whole, "Yeah, see, I'm not attracted to men, so you can take a break and not worry about setting me up with anyone" but the thought of coming out to my Mom like THAT is horrifying at best. Slightly amusing if I put a sitcom spin to it, but I know Reality would make it.... riDONKulous. In the negative sense.

I guess it made me realize how much I want to be out. I know I would come across new issues as an out woman at work, but I'm at the point where I'd rather try dealing with those than resigning myself to the whole tedious idea of hetero-normative behaviour.

Blargh. Mondays are silly things.