Mission Possible: Step One GO.

... And that's about how liberated and light I feel right about now.

Step One: ACCOMPLISHED.

I came out to my brother as of this morning.

It's surreal to see that in writing. It hasn't even been 24 hours since The Talk as I write this and I still feel as though I'm walking through the clouds.

I had such trouble focusing at work afterward. Yes, my timing is impeccable -- he was awake since about 4:30 am and I was bustling about to prepare myself for the day by 6:30 am. It was interesting -- he kept buzzing about me while I was prepping my lunch/breakfast in the kitchen, something he normally doesn't do. It's like he could sense I needed to talk to him and he was sticking close by for when I was finally ready...

So yeah -- I told him. And it went as perfectly as I'd pictured, maybe even more so. I mean, both he and I attended an arts school for our high school, so we've both known numerous queer folk, but I know it can be startling to discover there's a gay gal living under your own roof. But no, he was excellent. He told me that when I come out to our parents, he will be there to support me if I need it and he even offered to sit with me and talk about how I would phrase my coming out to Mom and Dad. 

I mean, how freakin' awesome is he?

I reassured him and told him that our sister knows and has known for quite some time, so he can always talk to her about it, too. I know she and I have not quite discussed my being queer since I outed myself about 3 years ago. It's been a rough spot between us, not gonna lie. But, I figure with our brother in-the-loop, maybe she'll be more inclined to discuss it in the future.

 I still wish my original coming-out would have worked the way I'd imagined -- I wanted to tell my brother and sister at the same time. I was antsy to talk to them during my third-year Reading Week, so I jumped the gun a little there. But still, with a reaction like his was this morning, I wouldn't want to trade it for a 'What If...' scenario.

And for once, we were given a gorgeous day here in the GTA. With the warmth and the sunshine there, I was just overflowing with such a sense of ease. I felt secure with myself and I felt powerful and grounded. I just hope I didn't give the kid too much of a shock. That's a lot to process at that hour of the morning.

Next Step of Mission Possible: Talk to the 'Rents. Hrmm....

London Town

So today was a very interesting day...yeah we went round London town, trying to figure out what to do, what to do..........so we went to Brixton Lane. I've heard loads about it...you know massive market,vintage stores,eccentric dressing....but ...nothing, nada, nix it was dead there were a couple of vintage stores...but OK...you know when people say vintage they're actually saying old, muffy second hand clothing and accessories, so imagine my horror when i walked into a vintage store and discovered that the average price for old, battered and worn out shoes is about £45. WHY???? Someone has worn these shoes before!!!!!!!!!!! The same with clothes....I'm offended!
Well, dd find some cool nerdy spectacles I'm loving...they are absolutely faboosh!!!! But is there anywhere n London where you can get decent and relatively cheap clothes(I'm a student for shite's sake) apart from primark or tk maxx or what not so and so???

Apart from that rehearsals are killing me...I'm soo fat*whiny voice*
It actually dawns on me that this is quite a big deal...I'm performing in front of a live audience...A PAYING AUDIENCE!!!!! This could either lead to absolutely nothing or things could actually change for the better....

Miz Moffatt: Ass Kicker in the Making

March seemed like an ordinary month, save for one revelation:

 I have this unnatural urge to be active all of a sudden.

Well, I shouldn't question it TOO much, I suppose. I led a highly active childhood where I was involved with baseball, soccer, high jump, cross-country running, gymnastics, one questionable year of 'dance,' and an on-and-off again relationship with the gym since I was sixteen. 

But, in terms of organized sports, I had given most of that up by the time I hit twelve or thirteen -- the same time I picked up a pen and a notebook to start exploring the world of writing.

And now, of all times, I'm craving athletics like nobody's business.

Why? Why on Earth would a person desire to punish themselves on a scheduled and regular basis?

I blame it on the treadmill.

It's true, I hadn't been out jogging since the golden days of my youth. Then, over the winter, I decided to spice up my typical weight lifting regimen with a quick 15 minutes of running and -- BAM!INEEDTOBEMOREACTIVEANDENGAGEINMOREACTIVITIES!!

It's sick, I know.

Since I mentioned the whole idea of game plans on Monday evening, I thought I might detail some of the 'game plans' I have when it comes to sport and other active, jaunty pursuits:

• HIKING!: My sister and I have already headed to Crawford Lake twice this summer. This was where the athletic sickness started, really. I thought, "Man, trekking in the forest and scaling rocks would be cool... and stuff" -- AND STUFF. Indeed.
• CANOEING!: Dad and I were discussing this tonight (as we were walking around the block). Turns out he'd been doing some research about places around the area that would be ideal for canoeing and didn't realise I, too, was interested. I think I need to get a little stronger in the shoulders before I attempt a long haul, but it's on the table.
• SWIMMING!: I wanna do lane swimming! Swim back and forth in a straight line for 45 minutes! I don't know why!
• BATTING CAGES!: I haven't played baseball in, oh... ten years, but I have this urge to see if I could still hit one out of the park. Batting cages seem to be a safe place to start.
• GOLFING??: I've never been interested in golf, really. It was Dad who mentioned it on the weekend. He and my brother go to the driving range frequently and it appears that my Dad would like to recruit me for the trip. I think I might give it a try. I mean, hey -- might as well try everything once, right?
• ZIP-LINING!: Again, this is a plot my sister and I have concocted. I mean -- tree top bridges? Spelunking? RIDING ON A ZIP-LINE THROUGH A FOREST? Heck yes.

... Granted, I still have quite a ways to go with my own physique. I'm no powerhouse, but I do aim for a gym run at least 3 times per week. Haha, my goal was to be buff for Pride and was I ever. But, I'm thinking I could go the extra mile and do even better than before.

.... AND, I also found out there's an all-women's outdoor adventure group close-by that even sponsors treks for lesbians/bi women ONLY. I mean, WHAT? I need to get in better shape so I can sign up for one of those, let me tell you.

So, look out, world -- Moffatt's gonna bench press you in no time.

AUGUST: IT'S GAME TIME.

Right, kids -- I know it's not August yet. 

YET. 

The countdown's begun, though. Saturday = August 1st = NO MORE WASTING TIME. It's damn time I bite the bullet and do it.

It's time to out myself once and for all.

Epic sentiment, I know. Sometimes you need to talk brash and add an extra swagger to your step in order to psych yourself up for The Moment. And OH GIRL, will I need me some of that...

Game Plan:

• Corner my lil' brother sometime this week and tell him. Easier said than done. He keeps bizarre hours and is generally asleep when the world is alive. Regardless, I want him to know and preferably mention this to my older sister (the one who is still ignoring the fact that I came out to her, oh... maybe three years ago).
• Have The Talk with my parents at the same time -- oh, deep breaths, deep breaths. I've gone back and forth between the idea of telling them at opposite times (Dad first, Mom second) vs. the same time. One-on-one seems less daunting than two-on-one. But, I wouldn't want one parent to feel offended if I went to the other parent first. Granted, talking to them both at the same time would more than likely limit the amount of rational discussion we could have about the subject. I imagine there will be discomfort/anger/possible depression that will arise and build more aggressively with two people there vs. one. But no, I gotta stick to telling them both at once. I can't see the other way working out well.
• Come out to the rest of the old high school crowd I hang out with. This will be decidedly easier vs. coming out to the immediate family. If they don't know already, then I know they will be entirely accepting. I mean, I should have told them years earlier, but the strong sense of guilt instilled in me compels me to talk to the 'rents and siblings before I disclose to friends. 

I figure August will be a good month to tackle this one. Chantal will be back in town (at least for the month) and My Advocate returns from abroad in the latter half of the month. In both cases, should the home front turn sour or unsavoury, I will have two places to crash (not to mention the support of two amazing friends who will, undoubtedly, keep me sane during the difficult months ahead).

I have quite a bit of cash saved up as well and I'm debating if I should be so drastic as to pack a bag or two, just in case. I like to be prepared for the worst even while hoping for the best. Better to be set than unprepared. 

Again, it might sound drastic and melodramatic, but..... well, sometimes it's just the position you find yourself facing. Though, based on my current track record, it will all be entirely lack lustre and filled to the brim with people saying, "Yeah... yeah, I know. What took you so long to say something?"

We shall see.

Bad, Moffatt. BAD!

For shame, Moffatt! Look at me, already neglecting my lil' blog for ONE WEEK.

*Slaps wrist*

I must admit -- my daily existence is rather void of queer tales, lesbian hotties, and other various gaieties. 

I live in the suburbs. I am in the closet. And most of my friends are either A) Overseas, or B) Working on the weekends while I work during the week.

... What the heck is this world coming to, I tell you.

Still, an excuse is an excuse -- and trust me, I am attempting to justify my behaviour and perhaps lessen the scolding and wrath I might receive from readers across the Blogiverse.

So, to make amends, I come bearing a gift. This is a clip I actually came across quite a while ago, but, now that I have a queer platform through which to share it, I can spread its loveliness to viewers not yet acquainted with it.

Essentially, the New York Times Style Magazine shot a webseries of intimate, one-on-one interviews with prominent stars and entertainers titled "Screentest." It appears as though the project was designed to promote their online magazine and what better way to lure people to online publications than plastering gorgeous celebrities across their pages?

*Ahem*

Anyhow, the NY Times was blessed with the presence of Ms. Natalie Portman for one of their intimate interviews and, my goodness, it just proves how painfully adorable the woman is. What a gorgeous way to end an entirely rainy weekend. *Shakes fist at the past four days of continual rain*

And now, I give you: 

Jourdan Dunn is Pregnant.

Wow...how old is she???

But what i really wanna know is who's the daddy...who's been....jourdan dunn???

London.

Very quick post...London is full of attractive people..or is it just me???