Awkward Office Moments RETURN!

So it begins -- awkward office moments RETURN. For new readers or Internet wanderers, feel free to check out previous posts on this subject. I dealt with awkward "girl talk" moments in front of my mother and suffered through two moments with the Office Matchmaker (including insinuations over my "desperation" for a man and her offensive monologue about butch women and their style) in 2009 alone.

Sure, there was a four-month gap between contracts at this same office, but the gossip continues even in those absences.

Shall we take a gander at the first week back?

***

Awkward Moment One: Lunchroom Lowdown.

It all starts with a harmless question: "So, did you watch The Oscars this year?" I nod. "Yeah, or... well, I watched the first half without sound. I was talking to a friend of mine through the first half. He tends to call on Sundays and it just happened to be around the time The Oscars was on so I was giving the play-by-play for the first part. I watched the second half with sound, though." The topic turns to films for a moment with a basic rundown of which Best Picture movies we'd actually seen. A lull emerges. And then, the pause is filled with: "Just jumping back in the conversation for a minute -- WHO'STHISGUYYOUWERETALKIN'ABOUT?AREYOUTWODATING?AREYOUINTERESTEDINHIM?WHATABOUTYOURLOVELIFEINGENERAL?!

Whoa. Whoa, now. I explain: "Oh, no, he's one of my best friends. He was one of the guys I lived with while I was at school. He's like a brother to me, you know?" A knowing glance from the gossiper. "Mmm hmm. So, there's no one in your life, then? Romantically?"

No. And, even if I was straight, I would not talk to you about it.

For interested readers, this is the same woman who was not aware that NEW theatre is created even in 2010.

*Sigh*

***

Awkward Moment Two: Lesbians Comin' Out the Woodworks.

I found out via the technical person I work with that one of our service professionals went through a rather difficult divorce last summer. We are attempting to reconcile his account with us, but it was his wife who controlled the books -- since she left in the middle of the pool season, he had no one to cover the books but himself.

The plot thickens.

"Yeah, poor guy. He had everything hit him at once. Turns out his wife is a lesbian and she left him for her partner. That's got hurt. I mean, it must cut a guy at the ego when his wife leaves for someone else, let alone for a woman. There was more than one phone call with him that ended in him crying and confiding to me about it. Yeesh."

Which was all then followed by: "Oh, hey, here's a joke for you: What do you call two lesbians in a closet? ..... A 'lick-er' cabinet. Get it? Instead of, like, liquor you drink? Huh?"

I laughed considering these two stories were told in one breath. Oh, goodness.

***

So, quite a fruitful first week for awkward office moments. I tend to attract these types of oddities. I think it ties in with the general air of approachability I exude. People feel comfortable confiding in me, for better or for worse.

The writer in me appreciates all the strange conversations, especially of the queer-themed variety.

***

Conversely, I can think of one non-awkward, thrilling thing you could do to kick off your weekend. Why not head over to The Best Travel Job Ever and vote for The Advocate? She's moving up the charts at a right good pace now but she needs every last vote to put her on that plane.

Look at her, so chipper and wanderlusting. Send that lady packin', I say!

Tunes for Tuesdays: MIX TAPE MADNESS

I wonder what's come over me these past few Tunes for Tuesdays. I can't limit myself to one artist. When I open iTunes to scope out the new release wall, I'm flooded with talented women and their killer tracks.

All these new pop flavours to taste and so little space to blog. What's a a gal to do?

Albums:

Kate Nash, My Best Friend Is You

I will commit a cardinal sin with this post. I have to come clean -- I knew of Kate Nash, but never heard a track before. Feel free to disown me if you must but, I promise, I mend my ways as of tonight. Her sound is bright, living sunlight condensed to MP3 format. She's a driven girl, too -- at the tender age of 18, she launched her career online and tracked down top management before even finding a producer. Now, two albums in, and she's developed an otherworldly, indie sound complete with rock-edged doo-wop for the kids in England and overseas. Quite a solid start, if you ask me.

Shelby Lynne, Tears, Lies, and Alibis

Shelby Lynne is exactly what I search for in a country-influenced singer/songwriter. She has a knack for coaxing a listener into her album with genre blending tracks, allowing Lynne to slip in a country lilt without overpowering/overwhelming her audience. Nashville this ain't -- instead, she offers light, acoustic-driven music overlaid with heartbroken lyrics and a tough approach to her topics. With eleven (!) albums under her belt and a range of acting credits including Carrie Cash in Walk the Line (2005), I find it refreshing to know a woman like her is still producing thoughtful, alluring work.

Sally Shapiro, My Guilty Pleasure

Alright, so Sally Shapiro's latest album is a collection of remixes. I balk at the idea of calling it a "new" album since it's more "new tinkerings" than new content. However, I am willing to make an exception for Shapiro since A) This is the first encounter with her, and B) I have the sense it will not be the last. Her first album, Disco Romance (2007), received high praise from reviewers and she continues to garner interest from across the Internet for her synth-etched music. Her form of electronica takes a darker turn, often building tracks over ominous bass lines to make the synth sparkle. It's a rewarding tension and offers a fresh take on a genre plagued with endless sirens.

***

Another eclectic and electric Tuesday for women in music. I might have to wander over to the international iTunes pages for another glance at the new release wall. I want to globetrot with albums even more so than I have (though, a Brit, an American, and a Swede in one night is never a dull one).

Oh, and speaking of globetrotting, why not trot over to The Best Travel Job Ever and give The Advocate a vote? Perhaps she will continue to fuel some of my new music posts if she's allowed to leave the country for extended periods of time, hmm?

Sounds like a sweet deal to me.

Cheers To You, DapperQ

I am calling on the svelte, stylish Marlene Dietrich to thank Susan Herr for featuring lil' ol' me and some other cute Canadians over at her delicious site, DapperQ. Dietrich is the epitome of dapper charm and elegance from the golden age of Hollywood. It's no wonder her genderqueer turn in Morocco (1930) earned Dietrich her first (and sadly, only) Oscar nomination.

From a German starlet of the silver screen to a handsome Texan in the heart of Park Slope, Brooklyn, dapper women both queer and straight are thriving with their threads and adapting masculine cuts for the female form.

So, cheers to the blog and a new generation of DapperQs.

My Favourite French Person…Marion Cottilard Does Citizen K Magazine

Stunning..Adore.Beautiful

THE BEST TRAVEL JOB EVER!!

Readers, prepare thyself. I call upon you all to help out a dear friend of mine who is in line to win THE BEST TRAVEL JOB EVER.

Did I mention she is the infamous Advocate who populates these posts on a regular basis?

She's an adventurer at heart and allows her wanderlust to take her across this great globe of ours. She's full of spunk, has a penchant for finding fun, AND she does it all on a thin dime. And she still manages to find the time to blog about it at (No)things (Ad)ventured. Impressive, to say the least.

Check out her profile over yonder at Telli's BEST TRAVEL JOB EVER for all the delicious voting information. Oh, and don't even bother looking at the other videos. Serious. It would be hard on the other hopefuls for you to judge them after watching her. I'm just thinking of the children, honest.

Here's the video of her about town, talking travel and adventuring with a camera in tow.

Like what you saw? Oh, I know you did. She's even posted some teasers and other thrilling videos to thank her supporters. The first leg of the contest is open until April 30th so vote now and vote often. Make sure to click over to THE BEST TRAVEL JOB EVER and support The Advocate with all your voting might!

This post has been approved by Miz Moffatt, Cute Queer Canadian, and a legion of hot ladies who will fawn all over you if you vote. So, you know, vote. *Impish grin*

Christina Hendricks Does Esquire May

Housewarming with an Accent of Drama

Remember a few months ago how I had that awkward Facebook run-in with a friend of a friend? Where she thought I was hitting on her when I was just looking to meet other ladies to hit the lady-lovin' scene with? Remember how I learned clarification = being an adult?

Well. Said friend had a housewarming get-together last night.

I met this girl.

... And the awkwardness of the moment was so stunning it almost circled back to being refreshing.

But the kicker? ...... I was the non-awkward one. Yeah. Despite her initial misinterpretation of me and my intentions, I was calm. I mean, I didn't waltz up to her and introduce myself -- Kyle C. was clever and lured her into the kitchen with the promise of a fresh drink while Ship Sharp and I happened to be chatting there. When I shook hands with her, I was almost tempted to say I was "that creeper from Facebook," but the look pulsing in her eyes let me know she knew exactly who I was.

It's unfortunate to see a potential friendship fizzle out before it even has the chance to grow, though. Under different circumstances, I bet we would have hit it off and impressed quite a few foxy femmes across Toronto's queer scene. Alas, such is the fickleness of online introductions.

And Ship Sharp can vouch for me that I handled the situation in a cool, adult sort of way. A+, Moffatt girl.

As for the housewarming, it was delightful. The Kyles have a gorgeous new condo just on the fringes of the downtown core. Pure posh, those lads are. The gents were flooded with a whole new wine collection from their guests, Ship Sharp and I included. I have to note: it's such a welcome change to talk queer with Kyle S. We went to high school together and he was one of the first people I hung out with in grade nine. We were both so heavily closeted as young'uns, though he came out years before I did. But yeah, just getting the chance to make the jokes about our younger selves and to understand where each other is now coming from is a great place to be with someone.

Ship Sharp and I left at around 10 PM and carried on our own after-party chez Ship (RE: Tea-infused discussions about writing/writers we admire, books-to-film, and other intellectual endeavors). I realized this morning how much I miss talking shop like that. I mean, I know I'm a member of Ladies in Writing, but we don't discuss professional writers with the kind of detail Ship Sharp and I did last night. I tell you, tea brings out the absolute best in people and inspires the greatest conversation. I would argue it's a better social lubricant than alcohol, even. Yes, you just read that. And yes, I am a nerd.

On that note, I'm off for another evening with Ship Sharp and The Advocate before a work-intensive week starts anew.