Waiting for "Whip It!" Wednesday

Drew Barrymore, Ellen Page, and Kristen Wiig as derby darlings in Whip It

Fact: Tough girls on roller skates are HOT. Not just hot, but HAHT, even. 

Trust me, it's proven by science.

And what could be better than an all-girl, roller derby throwdown film headed by Canadian cutie (and potential baby dyke...?), Ellen Page?

Nothing. 

Nothing is better.

I never thought I would utter these words, but.... Drew Barrymore, you are an utter and epic genius.

It's true, lovely readers -- Whip It marks Ms. Barrymore's directorial debut and what a start it will be. I mean, what other film could cater so blatantly to an audience of gay girls, am I right? I certainly hope I am since I will be front and centre in the theatre on its opening weekend, mark my words.

In a bid for her own independence, the teen misfit, Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page), sheds the stifling expectations of her mother (Marcia Gay Harden) and the Texas beauty-queen circuit and reinvents herself after joining an all-girl roller derby team, the Hurl Scouts. Under the guidance of Smashley Simpson (Barrymore) and Malice in Wonderland (Kristen Wiig), the young Bliss learns to assert herself and even take on her derby nemesis, Iron Maven (Julia Lewis) of the Holy Rollers.

*EXCITEMENT ABOUNDS*

Another interesting tidbit: Whip It is based on yet another debut -- writer Shauna Cross published her original YA novel, Derby Girl, at roughly the same time she was given the greenlight to develop a feature film script. Quite an exciting experience for a first-time writer, I must admit. 

And what was that last piece of information I was supposed to mention? Hmmm.... now, what could it be.... our Canadian gal, Ellen Page, is skating with... oh, darn, who was it again?

OH! That's right -- she's been paired with none other than:

ZOE BELL as BLOODY HOLLY.

*Mind explodes*

Oh, to be the woman decorating Ms. Bell's bottom with an intense, rather convincing derby bruise.

I am simply bubbling over with anticipation. 

And you better believe I'll be writing a detailed review of this film once I see it. What a mid-week treat it was to discover these stills. *CHEERS*

Fag/Hag 2.0: The Next Generation

O'Neill and I fancy ourselves to be a bit of an anomaly to the queer community.

If you will allow me to cater to the stereotypes for a moment, it would appear that the gay girl/gay boy friendship is an impossible occurrence. 

Throughout my undergrad experience, it was unmistakable that the queers were divided -- the lesbians tended to split off and form their own entourages and the gay gents mingled with the other boys and a select collection of straight girls for the most part. Aside from the monthly campus events and the Thursday bar nights, the gay girls and boys rarely interacted with one another. We were civil, of course -- but it was difficult to move past the usual pleasantries.

Enter: O'Neill and I.

We came out to one another first before we entered The Scene. We bonded over detailed high school secrets, our shared difficulties on the home front, and hell, we even revealed our matching crushes on the Gyllenhaal siblings. (Maggie for me, Jake for him, naturally). We balanced one another and kept each other grounded through the toughest, the strangest, and the most exhilarating moments of our young lives.

And we also seemed to raise a few eyebrows as a result.

A mutual (and also gay) friend of ours revealed a bizarre and confusing idea that had been circulating throughout our campus' queer community after my and O'Neill's initial debut -- folks were under the impression the two of us were dating. Dating? .... Huh?

To elaborate, it turns out the crowd interpreted us as a "bi-curious girl with an extremely supportive boyfriend" -- I mean.... what? Really? Granted, I now use this story to gloat over the fact that I'm "more gay" than O'Neill, however, that does not help to mask the strange assumption at the root of this story.

According to the status quo, hetero and homo alike -- a gay girl and a gay boy cannot be best friends.

What a sad and baffling conclusion.

That tired and restrictive notion that women and men can NEVER be 'just friends' has somehow managed to worm its way into a social group connected by their same-sex attraction.

... How did this ever come about? I can't even pretend to know. What I do know is my undergrad experience within the queer community was defined by this assumption. I often got the impression the girls were suspicious of me, acting as though I was poised to infiltrate their female-centred world or something to that effect. It was disorienting at best, but it taught me the true value of that one friend who would always understand me.

O'Neill and I reflected on it all one evening as we attempted to define our friendship status.

Fag Hag couldn't grasp it -- I am definitely not a straight girl, so that was ruled out.

Fag/Fag Hag seemed redundant.... and I felt strange about having the term 'fag' attached to my title (haha, though 'hag' is apparently more acceptable).

... Lo, we turned to Fag/Hag 2.0: The Next Generation of Queer Friendships. I like to think of HAG as an acronym: Hot And Gay. I figure it sums me up rather well. *Checks her ego at the door*

Who knew that a friendship could seem this revolutionary? 

Weekend Rundown

I return -- I know, I've been a silly and neglectful Moffatt. I fear there are no explanations for it. There are excuses, yes -- work stress that lingers with me well into the evening, an increase in gym visits over the past week, catching up on the first season of Dollhouse. Yes, the list is a long one. But, I'll banish all that for the moment. Instead, I'll share a snapshot of the weekend.

O'Neill invited me to another wedding taking place this past Saturday. What can I say, we're premium wedding crashers at this point. We're two for two with owning the dance floor, though the competition was a little stiffer this year (Re: Older couples who knew a few swing dance steps). Pfft, even those moves couldn't help them in the end, though. 

Highlights include:

• Getting the opportunity to dress swanky and wear heels (oh, and get complimented on my dress from women and men alike, mmm hmm /Ego trip).
• Being whisked to the outdoor ceremony via golf cart while numerous others had to walk. Oh, and having my heels sink into the fairway was amusing, too.
• Proving just how quickly I get sunburnt in the absence of sunscreen (I believe we were outside for a total of 30 minutes).
• Surprising O'Neill's dad and brother-in-law after I ordered a pint of Rickard's Red (a true dyke, I know.)
• Salivating over a delicious meal of salad, tofu steaks, and chocolate mousse cake... mmmm.....
• OPEN BAR!
• Checking out one of the stunning bridesmaids for the majority of the evening. O'Neill had his eye on one of the groomsmen (coincidentally, this gentleman was the same man who drove the golf cart for us earlier in the evening). 
• Tearing up the dance floor to a soundtrack including classics from the 50s and 60s, a little bit of "Sexyback" and "Stuck in the Middle with You," and a hilarious and melodramatic reenactment of Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing".
• Watching as our eye candy (Re: The bridesmaid and the groomsman) slowly started hanging out, flirting, and more than likely hooking up with one another. Haha, O'Neill and I know how to pick 'em, apparently. ;) :p
• Eating more cake than is ever healthy in one evening.
• Getting to hang out with one of my best friends and gossip about all the queer topics we wish to.

I have a post planned for tomorrow that will discuss this further. I'm not sure why I'm alluding to it now since I'm not prepared to reveal any details. I'll just have to leave you all in suspense, won't I? So cruel, I know.

All in all, it was a great weekend and a welcome escape from the dull, grey life of the suburbs. 

*Is already plotting ways to crash a higher number of weddings in the next-to-near future*

P.S. -- The GTA was hit with some intense thunderstorms while I was away. When I got home, I noticed my Mom had shut my windows. I also recalled I'd left my PFLAG rainbow bracelets on my desk. I'm trying to leave little queer Easter eggs around the house for my parents to discover, just to get them used to the idea. Perhaps I should start my countdown for the exact day I come out on the home front.... 

Naomi Campbell Photographed by Mario Sorrenti for Italian Vogue

You can't fault this woman, her pictures are truly beautiful.

And they say i can't dress...

Yesterday me and a couple of friends were in town doing some much needed shopping when all of a sudden the whole group decided to 'turn against 'me and mock me saying that i have no fashion sense, they said that it wasn't really 'my fault' as Germans are just backwards anyway....i am very patriotic and i love Germany soo much that obviously i couldn't take that sort of insult lightly...matter of fact when i think about it i do look a bit different from 'your usual Mancunian' (people from Manchester), firstly i don't wear Tracksuits at any time, only when I'm working out...no that's a lie i just don't wear them, secondly ugg boots are the work of the devil,why in the world would you buy shoes for more that £100 and in the matter of one week the soles kinda go funny, ugg boot wearers look weird from behind that's all i gotta say Plus did you know that ugg boots were originally meant for Australian farmers to keep their feet warm....EXACTLY.

Another fashion accessory which i find ridiculous but is soo popular here in Manchester are hoop earrings,not the standard ones noo, they thick and at least 5 pound heavy ones that make you walk kinda funny due to you ever expanding earlobes..they look so well chavy. So anyway because of this i will continue to dress particularly 'German' and in honour i will create a German street style section, praising my 'outlandish fashion sense.

KT Tunstall: A Case Study

What happens when infectious pop music meets a scratchy, soulful voice wrapped inside the absolutely gorgeous frame of a sweet and feisty Scottish woman?

Why, you get KT Tunstall, of course.

But, I have to tell you -- I don't know if it's the sound of my Gaydar pinging or if it's entirely wishful thinking on my part, but..... well, don't you ever wonder about Ms. Tunstall?

Sure, I've heard she has a boyfriend which would suggest she's of the hetero persuasion. Alas, haven't we been there too often with a number of lovely ladies? But there's something else, some sort of energy around her that makes me think she might have cast a glance or two at the fairer, hotter of the sexes.

Please open your textbooks to page 10 and we'll start today's studies:

A) KT Tunstall's name: Check it -- "KT". It redefines the whole idea of Katies everywhere. And what gay gal doesn't enjoy to challenge the conventions and structures of hetero-normative society, especially when it comes to names? Look no further than Canadian songstress kd lang, and you'll see what I mean. I think it deserves a few Queer Points.

B) KT's Fashion: Hmm, bit of a toss-up here. For as many tough, rocker girl photo shoots there are featuring Ms. Tunstall, there's an equal number of high-femme, glam pictures to be found. However, I would argue Ms. Tunstall tends to fall in the sweet spot between the two -- most of you might know of the 'soft butch' or 'futch' image that has garnered quite a bit of public attention thanks to the likes of Ellen DeGeneres, Rachel Maddow, and numerous others. If I'm not mistaken, I should think Ms. Tunstall has taken a few tips from the greats and charged it with some ample amounts of rock swagger:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

C) KT's penchant to cover, and thereby 'queerify,' popular songs by male artists: Whoa, that was a mouthful. Or, maybe a fingerful, since I had to type out that sentence. Anyway, technicalities -- this was the main reason I even TOOK to writing this entry tonight.

I was cruising through YouTube and discovered that Ms. Tunstall, in all her wisdom and utter hotness, has chosen to take well-known songs by men and make them her own in concert. Now, this is nothing new to the music world. Covers are a way of life for some and a fun experiment for others. However, the main draw with KT Tunstall rests in the fact she opts to keep those gender pronouns in place. (E.g. When a song is written from a male perspective regarding his Lady Love, KT keeps the lyrics in tact instead of changing them to 'straighter' pronouns.) The end result is an enticing, queerer reading of popular songs that ladies EVERYWHERE can enjoy. And trust me, this gay gal right here enjoys it quite a bit.

Video 1: "Tangled Up In Blue" by: Bob Dylan 

(Note: Yes, those are suspenders she's wearing...)

Video 2: "I Want You Back" by: Jackson 5

Video 3: "My Sharona" by: The Knack

(Also featuring the lovely French singer, Keren Ann)

D) KT's Rainbow Suspenders: She wore them on the cover of her debut album. I mean, come on -- COME ON. That's some serious Queer Cred right there.

So please, PLEASE, KT -- say it IS so. Make us queer girls ecstatic. Though, even if the rumours (which, apparently I am now starting) aren't true, you know we'll support you any day of the week, just like those rainbow suspenders of yours.

CANADA DAY 2009

HAPPY 142nd BIRTHDAY, CANADA!

The Great White North never looked so GREAT, I tell you.

Oh, Canada -- you don't look a day over 20. And I'm not just saying that out of politeness, I promise you. In fact, you could even argue I was saying that to flirt a little -- you know me.

I want to thank you for your open-mindedness, your general sense of humility, and your international image as 'that country full of polite, peaceable, and beer-lovin' people.' I mean, really -- I think we won the lottery when it comes to our global presence. Sure, we might not stand out. Heck, you could even call us wallflowers at times. But, to be in another country and actually see a stranger relax after telling them you're Canadian is quite a sight, I must admit. I couldn't ask for more.

Here's to another year in our lovely, little nation and here's hoping 2009 makes up for the rather rough 2008 we weathered through. 

Best birthday wishes to you, Canada. May your patios overflow with gorgeous women this evening, even if it IS a Wednesday.