Awkward Office Moments RETURN!

So it begins -- awkward office moments RETURN. For new readers or Internet wanderers, feel free to check out previous posts on this subject. I dealt with awkward "girl talk" moments in front of my mother and suffered through two moments with the Office Matchmaker (including insinuations over my "desperation" for a man and her offensive monologue about butch women and their style) in 2009 alone.

Sure, there was a four-month gap between contracts at this same office, but the gossip continues even in those absences.

Shall we take a gander at the first week back?

***

Awkward Moment One: Lunchroom Lowdown.

It all starts with a harmless question: "So, did you watch The Oscars this year?" I nod. "Yeah, or... well, I watched the first half without sound. I was talking to a friend of mine through the first half. He tends to call on Sundays and it just happened to be around the time The Oscars was on so I was giving the play-by-play for the first part. I watched the second half with sound, though." The topic turns to films for a moment with a basic rundown of which Best Picture movies we'd actually seen. A lull emerges. And then, the pause is filled with: "Just jumping back in the conversation for a minute -- WHO'STHISGUYYOUWERETALKIN'ABOUT?AREYOUTWODATING?AREYOUINTERESTEDINHIM?WHATABOUTYOURLOVELIFEINGENERAL?!

Whoa. Whoa, now. I explain: "Oh, no, he's one of my best friends. He was one of the guys I lived with while I was at school. He's like a brother to me, you know?" A knowing glance from the gossiper. "Mmm hmm. So, there's no one in your life, then? Romantically?"

No. And, even if I was straight, I would not talk to you about it.

For interested readers, this is the same woman who was not aware that NEW theatre is created even in 2010.

*Sigh*

***

Awkward Moment Two: Lesbians Comin' Out the Woodworks.

I found out via the technical person I work with that one of our service professionals went through a rather difficult divorce last summer. We are attempting to reconcile his account with us, but it was his wife who controlled the books -- since she left in the middle of the pool season, he had no one to cover the books but himself.

The plot thickens.

"Yeah, poor guy. He had everything hit him at once. Turns out his wife is a lesbian and she left him for her partner. That's got hurt. I mean, it must cut a guy at the ego when his wife leaves for someone else, let alone for a woman. There was more than one phone call with him that ended in him crying and confiding to me about it. Yeesh."

Which was all then followed by: "Oh, hey, here's a joke for you: What do you call two lesbians in a closet? ..... A 'lick-er' cabinet. Get it? Instead of, like, liquor you drink? Huh?"

I laughed considering these two stories were told in one breath. Oh, goodness.

***

So, quite a fruitful first week for awkward office moments. I tend to attract these types of oddities. I think it ties in with the general air of approachability I exude. People feel comfortable confiding in me, for better or for worse.

The writer in me appreciates all the strange conversations, especially of the queer-themed variety.

***

Conversely, I can think of one non-awkward, thrilling thing you could do to kick off your weekend. Why not head over to The Best Travel Job Ever and vote for The Advocate? She's moving up the charts at a right good pace now but she needs every last vote to put her on that plane.

Look at her, so chipper and wanderlusting. Send that lady packin', I say!