The National Hangover, Post-Olympics

What a night -- what a close to the 2010 Olympics Games in Vancouver. To state it simply: THANK GOD THE MEN'S HOCKEY TEAM WON GOLD.

Oh, to think of the consequences otherwise...

In all seriousness, the streets were alive with such a staggering energy last night. All it took was a well-placed shot by Sidney Crosby and the entire nation was on its feet. To see the live feeds of the crowds gathered in Vancouver, Whistler, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, and all the other major urban centres in Canada after that "Golden Goal" -- even our little suburban neighbourhood was alight with car horns and rowdy fans. And to follow all that with the Closing Ceremonies?

You can understand why this morning is deemed the "National Hangover."

Yonge and Dundas, Toronto: Imagine this crush of people gathered for HOURS after the goal.

Now, before I get ahead of myself, there's still a broad collection of Canadian Olympians I need to celebrate for their achievements over these last few days of competition:

• Cheryl Bernard, Susan O'Connor, Carolyn Darbyshire, and Cori Bartel, Women's Curling (Silver, Feb. 26)
• Charles Hamelin, Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m (Gold, Feb.
• François-Louis Tremblay, Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m (Bronze, Feb. 26)
• Charles Hamelin, François Hamelin, Jean Olivier, François-Louis Tremblay, Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 5000 m Relay (Gold, Feb. 26)
• Denny Morrison, Lucas Makowsky, Mathieu Giroux, Speed Skating - Men's Team Pursuit (Gold, Feb. 27)
• Jasey Jay Anderson, Snowboard - Men's Parallel Giant Slalom (Gold, Feb. 27)
• Lascelles Brown, David Bissett, Lyndon Rush, Chris Le Bihan, Four-Man Bobsleigh (Bronze, Feb. 27)
• Kevin Martin, John Morris, Marc Kennedy, Ben Hebert, Adam Enright, Men's Curling (Gold, Feb. 27)
• Men's Ice Hockey (Gold, Feb. 28)

PHEW. It was an intense few days, let me tell you. So, lesson learned: Canadians throw themselves down hills well and can skate real quick around ice -- but we're even better at it when there's more than one of us involved. Team work, people.

Canada's Total Medal Count: 26

Total Gold Medal Count: 14

If you've been exposed to Canadian media over the last 24 hours, you will know that Canada is now A) The most awarded nation in Winter Olympics history (when it comes to gold medals) and B) The most awarded HOME nation in Winter Olympics history (when it comes to gold medals).

I've noticed the infamous "Own the Podium" slogan has been amended since the 14th gold medal was secured -- the media is now referring to it as "Own the [Gold] Podium." Whatever it's called, it still effin' rocks that Canadian Olympians laid it out there and were rewarded with medals or with personal top scores (or sometimes with both).

Now, if only the Closing Ceremonies had reflected our new-found confidence and talent...

***

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. THE CLOSING CEREMONIES. I MEAN -- WHAT? WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STOP WITH THE CAPITALIZATION. I NEED TO COMMUNICATE THIS FRUSTRATION.

Highlights:

• Poking fun at the failed hydraulics from the Opening Ceremonies. I'm glad it was acknowledged and duly ridiculed.
• Katrina Lemay-Doan getting her rightful chance to light the indoor Olympic cauldron.
• NEIL YOUNG!! Such a surprise that he agreed to perform.
• William Shatner. Yep.
• Catherine O'Hara and her "HURRY HARD!!" entrance.
• Michael J. Fox and his utter fabulousness.

... And then, the musical nightmare started.

I tend to like Michael Bublé and his smarmy, snappy stage persona. I understand he was nodding to his Canadian predecessor, The Singing Mountie -- but then, it spiraled out of control.

I still don't understand the rationale behind the... full-blow, tacky spectacle. I know the Closing Ceremonies were supposed to be fun and supposed to showcase our self-deprecating brand of humour. But... we wheeled out every living Canadian stereotype to accomplish that? We just spent the last month attempting to showcase our diversity and our athleticism and our open nature and how we are more than those stereotypes. So, uh..... WHAT? I was cringing while I watched it. I actually felt embarrassed over it. I'm curious to know other reactions to this. Maybe others will think I'm overreacting, but... well....

The horror... the horror....

AND THEN THE MUSIC CHOICES?! No. Three billion times NO. I wanted to bash my head in when Nickelback took the stage, but then to follow it all with Avril Lavigne, Hedley, and friggin' Simple Plan?!

At least Alanis Morissette and k-os were there as buffers. I was glad to hear Marie-Mai, she seems like quite the Québécois dance princess which I am partial to. But serious, my brother and I sat there and listed at least 20 other bands more deserving of performances at those Closing Ceremonies, bands that would have been electric, eclectic, and way-the-eff better.

*Sigh*

I know this post is ending on a down note considering my general dissatisfaction with our Big Close, but still -- I can't deny the high that's still buzzing about the house from this past weekend.

Now, we gear up for the 2010 Paralympic Games starting March 12. We've still got tons of Podium to Own, Canada, so you best keep alert.