Fine with "Nine"

First order of business: Check out Nine with Chantal before she heads back to Scotland. I am glad to declare the mission was accomplished with great vigour and much drool on both of our parts.

I knew we would stake out cinema seats for this film the moment I hit "Play" on the Internet trailer months ago.

To start, Chantal is dedicated to Mr. Daniel Day-Lewis. When it comes to Harem hierarchy, he holds a golden place in her ranks. See, he doesn't have an official title within the Harem Proper -- no. He cannot be contained by the standard Harem rules. Instead, Mr. Day-Lewis sails to our villa where he chops firewood and instructs the members of Chantal's Harem on important issues like wooing a lady (and yeah, I occasionally ask for lessons, too. Hey, gotta stay sharp for the women of my Harem.) He travels with the wind and the fog, similar to Johnny Depp and the Irish river folk of Chocolat.

Anyway, I am rambling now.

Of course, the second reason to catch this film: Um, well, you saw that poster, right? Who needs to visit the concession stand with that much eye candy sprinkled throughout the film?

I know, I know -- I'm offline for all of two weeks and the first two posts back showcase my inklings toward all things debauch. What? There are sparkle-infused women belting out musical numbers like Sirens and compelling me to Be Italian and seduce them all. I am only one woman, I can't resist this.

Now, all that gushing aside, I did have certain issues with the film. Or, rather, I guess the plot. I admire Daniel Day-Lewis and I love the women featured in this film -- but, well, I'm getting tired of the whole one man + five trillion women flicks. Yes, I get it -- straight men are given the spotlight AND the bevy of women who should be unattainable to them but the script tells these ladies to throw themselves at him.

Yawn.

Show me something I haven't seen before.

Now, Daniel Day-Lewis is suave and commands quite a bit of respect from me, so I had an easier time suspending my usual irritation for this film. But still, it's frustrating for a single gay girl to watch, especially when she tends to fail at A) Meeting other queer girls and B) Convincing other queer girls that she is attractive and dateable.

But, I digress.

I think the greater part of this film's target audience was more than likely looking forward to one particular scene. If I mention Penelope Cruz, I imagine the first image to slide its way into your mind is this one:

And OH, GIRL -- I don't remember breathing throughout her number. In fact, I don't even recall blinking, either. Once I regained consciousness, I wondered how on EARTH the crew managed to hold it together during filming. Serious, I even wonder how the movie screen and the DVD did not spontaneously combust as a direct result of this dance. It's so odd because I never quite took notice of Ms. Cruz prior to Nine. I was mistaken and I have corrected all former opinions.

Despite the utter hotness that was Penelope Cruz as the Mistress, I found myself drawn more toward the subdued and delicate presence of Marion Cotillard as Luisa Contini, Guido Contini's dejected wife. Even while her character was treated as a walking joke and was continually lied to by her husband, she carried herself with such elegance. Protective Moffatt kicked in quite a few times throughout the film and I was wanting to leap through the screen and whisk Ms. Cotillard away on a cute little Vespa. But alas -- I have yet to perfect the Film/Reality Transfer. *Pout*

I know I'm a touch biased here, but I would still recommend Nine to all the ladies out there. I might even have a new Harem addition here with Marion Cotillard -- if that's not proof enough for you to check the film out, then I don't know what is.

So Be Italian and show those ladies what's what!