ZOMG: Natalie Portman and Zombies?!

I realize I am behind with the times since the utter rapture of this news broke, but --

*Inhales*

IAMSOEXCITEDANDCANBARELYMAINTAINANYSEMBLANCEOFSANITYATTHENEWS!!

*Staggers, breathes again*

Natalie Portman has signed on to star in the film adaptation of the reinvented Austen classic otherwise known as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Let me process this blitz of sheer perfection:

• Natalie Portman as the spunky Elizabeth Bennet
• An alternative universe where zombies invade Regency-era England
• Natalie Portman killin' zombies in Austen-era wardrobe

*Brain implodes*

WHY IS THIS MOVIE NOT OUT NOW AND WHY IS THE WORLD FORCING ME TO WAIT FAR TOO LONG TO SEE IT?

I don't care what the cynics tell you -- life is fuckin' beautiful, kids.