At-Work Crush and Catwoman: OH MY!

I have a bit of a confession to make -- I've been nursing an at-work crush for the last few months now. I know, I know -- how did I neglect to mention this earlier, especially considering this a blog dedicated to the loveliness of ladies the world over?

There are numerous reasons for my silence:

• She is married, a mother.... and quite straight. I have deduced this from the varied conversations in which she discusses said husband.
• I know her through work and I tend to keep the private and public spheres as separate as possible.
• I hate admitting to crushes on straight girls because I know it will go nowhere, even while another side of me is calculating the chances I have to lure her away from the boys for good...

I have resisted the urge to discuss her adorable French-Canadian accent, her insistence on parking beside my car every day without fail, and her tendency to chat with me more than our co-workers even though the nature of our jobs keep us on opposite sides of the office.

It's enough to get a gay girl's heart a-flutter.

And then, she had to go and find one of the hottest costumes to wear for the unofficial Hallowe'en office bash. 

Catwoman. 

And not just any Catwoman, but the Catwoman made famous by Julie Newmar -- as in, the reason I watched reruns of the 1960s, live-action Batman as much as I did when I was a young'un.

An additional note about this office crush of mine -- she tends to wear her hair up all the time. It's a tight, clean look and very professional. Today? Oh, she let her hair down. Picture it: gorgeous waves of chestnut hair spilling across her shoulders and two cute cat ears perched on the crown of her head.... Sheer radiance, I tell you.

Hallowe'en proves, yet again, why it reigns supreme as THE GREATEST HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR.

Butch-Curious: All Hallow's Eve Edition

tomboy vs tomgirl, Kiwi_GaL

So, I've noticed -- the Blogisphere is alight with discussions of Hallowe'en and that ancient act of transforming oneself into another creature entirely. Be it supernatural, experimental, or even organic, we are approaching the ONE day where we have the freedom to explore another aspect of ourselves with no repercussions. It is a radical departure from the mundane to the moving/mad/memorable and other alliterative words.

And you thought Hallowe'en was just about the candy  ..... Though there's also the eye candy involved, so, yes, there's quite a number of ~sweet~ things to look forward to.

I tend to follow the blogs of high femme or femme-oriented ladies and I was quite intrigued to discover how many of them are sticking to their glamourous look for All Hallow's Eve. Hey, no complaints here -- I am drawn to femme women and will gladly worship them in all their incarnations. Sexy vampires, slinky sisters of Catwoman, a naughty nurse or doctor type -- BRING 'EM ON. 

But what of the butch-curious out there who are looking to flex their masculine side?

By the light of day, I would argue I lean toward the femme side of androgynous. I maintain a more feminine demeanor when interacting with folks at work or with new acquaintances, but I tend to adopt a more androgynous approach once I'm in the company of close friends and family. Or perhaps I become less aware of the gender roles ascribed to me...? Not quite sure.

But in the darkened streets of another Hallowe'en, I can't help but shed that image for a more masculine appearance.

I was debating if I wanted to give Dieselpunk a shot (think Angelina Jolie in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow), though my take would be decidedly less detailed than real devotees. As of this moment, I would only have my sweet, lust-worthy military-style jacket and... a pair of swimming goggles. I need goggles to be Dieselpunk, that's just how it is. But I don't have the handy know-how to build me a more authentic pair.

I've decided to adopt my drag alter-ego and give him some space to explore the world from a Hallowe'en slant. I've done drag before -- twice during my third year in university and I had a great time with it. I love the idea of genderf**king and challenging other people's perspective when it comes to the sex/gender divide. So, why not give him some room to strut the streets on a night where I am encouraged to play with my image?

Still not sure what plans will be had this Saturday -- there was talk of a potential foray into Toronto. Not sure how that might play out. 

In any case, my mascara will be called upon for a new purpose -- instant beard, here I come.

The Tri-Force of Sheer Perfection

Right, so -- I am lacking in the Tunes for Tuesdays department. *Dodges the spoiled tomatoes raining down from the Blogiverse* I know -- for shame and other such curses. However, instead of meandering down that path, I thought I'd take a different course this evening.

I want to use this space to sing the praises of those two special ladies who have kept me sane, grounded, and even optimistic over the past year. 

***

October has been quite the month for our trio. In the stark, quiet hours after Nuit Blanche, I came out to My Advocate. And, as of Friday, October 23, I came out to Ship Sharp. As a result, our tri-force of sheer perfection has become even MORE perfect. I know, I was shocked that there was anything beyond perfection, but apparently there is -- and it's filled with apple tarts, beer, and Return to Oz, too.

For starters -- I love how fantastic this coming out process has been. Now, I knew the ladies would be fine with everything and that there would be no awkward gaps and the like. We went to an arts school, we know a plethora of other queers, it's all good. Still, working up the confidence to state the obvious and trying to work that into a regular conversation can be tricky. It always feels like you have to hit the invisible RE-SET button in the conversation when you finally come out. It's strange, even while it's necessary.

I think Ship Sharp takes the prize for greatest reaction, though -- once an hour passed after telling her, she said, "Sorry, was that a good reaction? I mean, it's such a non-issue for me, but I know it takes so much courage on your part to come out. But, honestly, after you said that, all I could think was, "Oh, I wonder if I could hook her up with my friend -- she's single, too!" 

Serious, I have the greatest friends ever. I'm out for ten seconds and I've already got ladies working overtime as matchmakers. Why on Earth did it take me this long to talk to them? I am a crazy one, I can tell you that. Their new enthusiasm for my queerness and their desire to help a gay gal out knows no bounds and I am THRILLED to count them as my nearest and dearest.

Friday evening was an excellent one -- we sat around and talked about the fickle world of love, dating, and sex. I've never been that blunt before and it felt so reassuring and calming. I know I've said this numerous times before, but I still get such a high when I realise I can talk to the both of them about all these queer experiences with a rich sense of self-confidence and assurance. Cheers to trust!

I was invited over for another Ladies Night on Tuesday, though the mood was darker and more subdued-- The Advocate and Ship Sharp have run into a number of hitches with the gents in their lives. I only hope that I can offer them even half the support they've shown me in such a short period of time. 

I believe there are plans in the works to hit up some of the bars/pubs/clubs in the Toronto area, both hetero and homo alike. I mean, heck -- we're the perfect wingwomen for one another. The Advocate and Ship Sharp won't feel nervous around the ladies, and I have no fears chatting to the lads -- what a brilliant melding of worlds. 

Brings a whole new meaning to the Gay-Straight Alliance.

So there -- tonight is one to celebrate those closest to you, all the queer kids and the straight allies alike. We're a clever bunch and we're here to support one another through all means possible.

And yes, endless rounds of beer and pool constitute moral support. 

Online Dating: The Minor Archetypes

Welcome to the second chapter in our on-going evaluation of online dating behaviours: Minor Archetypes. Though the minor archetypes appear with less frequency across the diverse terrain of online dating, their focus remains the same -- to divert you from the ultimate goal of finding a gorgeous, thoughtful woman to connect with.

Over the last two posts, we reviewed the Seven Major Archetypes and their distinct patterns of online activities. From the passive-aggressive tactics of the Profile Stalker to the inexplainable anger of the A.S.S., we have covered the board when it comes to prominent personalities across all dating platforms.

But what of the lesser-known and the more obscure daters?

It would be impossible for me to document each and every bizarre behavioural occurrence that presents itself within the realm of online dating. The one rule of Minor Archetypes is: There is no end in sight. The list is an exhaustive one. We each have our own ticks, foibles, and general oddities -- this is what lends a kind of substance to this new realm of disembodied flirtation. 

What I would like to provide tonight is a quick glance at my own experiences and allow a space for you to comment, critique, and even add a few of your own characters to the mix. 

So, if you will please turn to page 30, we will delve into the world(s) of the Minor Archetypes.

***

1. The "Just Lookin' For Girl Friends, Not Girlfriends" Straight Gal: She is that smokin' hot lady with the desexualised profile. I believe the better term for this archetype is "tragic." It was a tough call as to whether this online character constitutes a Major or Minor figure since she appears quite often. Regardless, I cannot count the number of times I have clicked on the image of a potential date only to discover her interests are set to "kill" -- I mean, "friends." She's the girl on the dating site looking for a nice, new gal to pal around with. She indicates she's a Woman Looking For A Woman but not, like, a woman. And if you should stumble onto her profile, be prepared to receive the "thanks for checking me out, but I'm not looking to DATE a girl" message. Whether you intended to e-mail her or not (I'm thinkin' most of you probably wouldn't go there), she will message you without fail. Oh well, I suppose it fills the inbox after the Favorites-Only, Profile Stalkers, and Disappearing Acts have swept through.

2. The Cute, Candid Woman and-- Hey, Wait a Minute, Does She Have a Boyfriend?! (aka. The Bi-Curious Couple): She is the blossoming bisexual or bi-curious girl whose got a little extra baggage when it comes to the profile scene. I know, I shouldn't be so harsh -- to each their own. If a couple wants to explore their sexuality with new partners or cultivate a new sensuality, so be it. But I've always specified I'm not looking for a three-way, "forbidden fruit" kind of weird experience. However, I still get the odd e-mail propositioning it. I mean, it's flattering for sure, but.... well, see, there's the whole issue of me being THE GAY and your boyfriend being... well, your boyfriend. And, really, it wouldn't be fair of me to step in and steal yet another girlfriend away from a guy. It's just not polite. (/Ego trip)

3. The Camera-Play Queer Gal: She is the girl whose lookin' for a little private peepshow from the safety of her own home. Again, to each her own  -- dating sites are like an online playground where you can explore the many facets of your desires with (hopefully) like-minded individuals. I'm just not the girl to pursue for this type of online activity. I mean, I already have issues when it comes to sending e-mails back and forth for too long, so a camera would just add a new level of frustration for me. Granted, the women who have propositioned me for this have been the most polite women I encounter. Heck, they'll even respond to the e-mails I send where I decline their offer. I don't quite understand the lure myself, but I can't knock it.

 

4. The Mrs. Robinson: She is the older, more sophisticated woman who has less experience with dating queer women than you have. Now, I think I've made it quite clear that I am still a relative newbie to the world of The Gay -- I mean, I've been out and involved in the community to some degree since I was 18, so I'm still in a good place. But, I have noticed a general trend -- I tend to attract the older ladies. And, by older, I mean the women who can call themselves "Zoomers." Now, I don't want to badmouth or denigrate the women of this crowd because, hey, coming out at any age is difficult and forging those first few connections are vital. I just find it a tad depressing when the girls in my age group are not the least bit interested in me while the older women are all up on's. I think the issue here stems from the fact that the majority of the Mrs. Robinsons are still married to men while on these dating sites, most of whom are experimenting without their husband's knowledge. Not cool.

5. The "Dislikes" Dyke: She's the girl who provides ample coverage of her disinterests and gets her hate on without ever providing a glimpse of the activities or hobbies she enjoys. Does she have a favourite film? Does she prefer pop-rock ballads, or maybe a sleek, hip-hop bass line? Maybe she likes polka? Or maybe she aspires to punch a hole through the wall of every library she's ever visited? I can't exactly tell you. All I know is that I can message her ONLY if I don't live outside of her 25 km radius, if I don't drink or smoke, if I don't want kids, if I don't want a sexual encounter only, if I don't want a long term relationship, etc., etc.

6. The "Which One Is She?" Gal: This is the girl who only uses group shots when it comes to profile pictures.... and she never labels which one she IS. And I usually guess wrong. *Readjusts her Gaydar*

7. The Photo Album: She's the girl who can't decide on a handful of professional, airbrushed head shots or shaky, bathroom mirror shots to use..... so she posts THE ARCHIVE. In most cases, the written profile is secondary or non-existent. The Photo Album tends to find her perfect balance with the Profile Stalker and the Favourites-Only Girls, no doubt.

8. The Job Hunter: She is the girl who will switch from a flirtatious, potential date to a ravenous job shark over the course of a single message. When I was last on Plenty of Fish, I was working with an online marketing group as an in-house web content writer. Sounds stunning, but it was decidedly not. Anyhow, I told this one girl about it and her next e-mail read like a cover letter. She launched into a discussion of her CV, her qualifications, and her writing history. Not hot. Nope.

9. The Straight Dude Tryin' To Pass for a Butch Woman: .... Actually, I think that's fairly self-explanatory.... and still confusing as all get out....

***

I feel as though I've only just scratched the surface of these Minor Archetypes. I need to cut myself off for the evening, though. I've already been at my desk for about two hours just brainstorming various behaviours I've encountered. I know I'm guilty of a few of the Major traits, but the Minor ones... wow. I never cease to be amazed.

Please feel free to add your own to the list -- perhaps we could build our own survival guide to the online dating world. For now, I am off to a well-deserved rest after an epic evening of anthropological pursuits.

One Last Major Archetype

I had an epiphany moment on Friday -- there is a seventh major archetype for the online dating community to bemoan. I was surprised once I realised my omission of this character from our on-going list -- so, if you would please return to page 20 with a Sharpie marker in tow, I would like you to add the Seventh Archetype to your textbook:

7. The Profile Stalker: You will notice this girl is a regular fixture on your profile, however, she will never send you a personal e-mail and will never respond to any of your messages. This online dater shares numerous traits with the Favourites-Only Girl, the most noticeable being their shared passive-aggressiveness. I would argue that the Profile Stalker displays a more developed form of non-committal flirtation, one that most online users would not even notice. I cannot stress how common this individual is when it comes to my own experiences. On sites like Plenty of Fish, users are able to see recent visitors to their profile. Most sites will rank these individuals in chronological order -- if a user viewed your profile within the last few hours, her picture will be at the top of the page. If she visited your page earlier in the week and never returned, her image will appear at the bottom of the list. The Profile Stalker will ALWAYS remain at the top of said list. Weeks will pass and her icon will never leave the first, second, or third spot. 

And she will never message you. Ever. 

***

Right, I do believe we're all caught up on the major archetypes of online dating. I apologize for my absence from Friday's lecture -- I was called away for a mock bridal shower hosted for two lovely ladies who pledged their undying friendship to one another. Will definitely have to update further. For now, I will let you all review the current material and I will continue tomorrow evening with the minor archetypes and all their confusing online behaviours. 

Psychology's a lovely thing, ain't it?

Archetypes of Online Dating

Here it is -- an anthropological dissection of online dating culture, particularly the scene as created on Plenty of Fish. I have studied the bizarre, inexplicable behaviour of countless potential daters and I have developed a list of archetypes for your perusal (since, you know... that's what normal people do).

Our first chapter will deal with the most predominant characteristics as witnessed through the individual dating experience of Miz Moffatt. 

There are six general categories of behvaiour that numerous online users engage in -- some are purists to one form of (anti)-social interaction while others borrow liberally from various categories.

Please open your text to page 20 and we will review the list:

1. The "Favourites-Only" Girl: This girl provides you with passive-aggressive hints that she is interested in your profile, however, she will never pursue you. While I still had my profile up over the winter, I had a stunning femme woman add me to her favourites list. I was over the moon, let me tell you. Now, I know some ladies like to be coy and flirty without making the official first move -- and yes, I respond quite well to this tactic. I messaged her and waited... and waited... and proceeded to wait some more. Why would you deem a girl fit enough for your favourites list if you have no intention to speak to her? It's quite confusing to the so-called "favourite."

2. The No Photo/No Profile Girl: She will offer minimal conversation starters and withhold images of herself.... and still expect the two of you to connect. I completely understand the decision to exclude a photo from an online dating profile. For the girls still in the closet but still wanting to meet gay girls, it can inspire greater confidence to omit a photo. And you never know who's checking profiles -- I wouldn't have wanted someone I casually know to out me simply because they found me on a dating site. But, if you're not putting a photo up, you NEED to give written details for the profile. Serious. It's hard to start talking to someone who won't provide any immediate conversation starters. It'd be like trying to chat up a girl who was wearing a bag over her head and would only answer with monosyllabic words. It's a little tricky.

3. The Last Impressionist: She is the girl whose first impression on you will also be the last. This is one of the more creative archetypes in the sense that a last impression can mean something different to each person. The trigger for a LAST impression is a flexible category and not all daters will respond in the same way. In my case, I once had a No Photo/No Profile girl who actually messaged me to say, "Ur cute. Gimme ur MSN." No. No I will not. Please type full sentences. 

4. The A.S.S. (Abrasive, Suspicious Sistah): This is the girl who either insults parts of your profile or doubts the content of your profile and feels the urge to write to you about it. Insulting Doctor Who/calling me a nerd in a derogatory way is not endearing (and is horribly misguided since Doctor Who is AMAZING). In addition, I don't take kindly to women believing I've lied about my age, whether for older or younger. I am 23. 23. And no, I will not scan and post my birth certificate to prove that to you.

5. The "E-mails Only" Girl: You will never meet this girl despite the fact you have written reams and reams of online prose and personal, heartfelt details to her. You will know every small detail about her and you will never hear her voice. Not once. I like writing, I don't think that's a secret. But sometimes, the e-mails go on a little too long and enter that awkward zone of "uh.... we're still going to meet.... right?" I want to meet you, lovely lady -- no need to be shy. You have proven your command of the written word and I like! I LIKE!

6. The Disappearing Act: She is quite possibly the most heartbreaking of all the major archetypes within the online dating scene. She's articulate, she's gorgeous, and she messages YOU FIRST. You respond and provide excellent prompts for further conversation topics.... but the second e-mail never comes. I know you can never anticipate someone else's reaction to a response, but it has happened SO consistently and strangely that I'm beginning to hypothesize about the probable vortex that exists between my account and the inboxes of various women on these sites.... or the gremlins that feed off flirtatious messages... hmm, yes.

Tomorrow, we'll cover some of the minor archetypes of online dating. It's a wide world out there and there are numerous forms of crazy we haven't even begun to research yet. Do stay tuned.

The Wide World of DATING

... I can feel it happening again.... it's that quiet tugging at the back of my mind when the autumn is reaching its colder points.... it's that vague, half-wondering state over the cause(s) of my singledom... I can almost hear the Siren song of Plenty of Fish and all its potential dating connections....

Yes, I've been pondering this matter for a number of weeks now. Ship Sharp and The Aussie have been apartment hunting together; My Advocate dove into the world of online dating and is frolicking among the avalanche of e-mails she's received; and one of my favourite bloggers, Ferry Tales, has been debating the same issues raised by PoF that I've been concerned about, too...

Girl, I need to get a date.

I swear, it must be a condition of winter -- the need to date is all mixed in with that need to eat hearty meals and hibernate/curl up in the warmth of a fleece blanket. We're all getting cozy as the cold sets in and that cuddling sort of vibe --> DATING. (This is a part of the reason why us Canadians are just so lovable -- because WE ARE COLD. ALL THE TIME.)

Serious though, I am still such an amateur at this whole dating game. I mean, don't get me wrong -- I am AWESOME when it comes to first dates. Like, freakishly so. I'm good with small talk, so it's never an issue. But, second dates...... well. That's a whole different breed, that one.

One of the main reasons I pushed dating to the background had to do with my "pre-Out" days -- I knew it wasn't fair to A) See someone behind my parents' backs and B) Force a girl to closet herself in order to date the still-closeted me. 

But, I'm out now. It's a whole new state of being for me. The former excuses have dissipated and, well.... um, I'm.. still...single -- Granted, I know these things take time to change and blah blah blah, self-enlightenment and other intelligent insights.

It boils down to me being a N00B, with capital zeroes (if that is at all possible in 1337-speak). I've deleted my account at PoF twice in 2009 alone. Hmm, I should probably dedicate a post to the dating issues I've encountered. I'm curious to know how many other ladies out there have come across these same problems, both online and in person. We can compare our battle wounds, what say you?

But yes, definitely debating a brash comeback to the deep end of the dating pool. Time to polish up that weathered profile and dive on in... though a helmet might be in order, just in case I hit the ocean floor once again.

Tunes for Tuesdays: Laura Marling

Tunes for Tuesdays -- Bringing you music to get your heart broke to since, well.... right..now.

***

Laura Marling is the absolute gem of the neo-folk movement. And yes, I am inventing the whole genre of neo-folk with that statement. She's the delicate, thoughtful singer-songwriter who knows how to wield a pop melody to her advantage. 

With her debut album, Alas I Cannot Swim (2008), the young Marling has established herself as a force to be reckoned with in the British music scene.

Despite her melancholic and fragile demeanor, Laura Marling holds her own and creates a palpable strength through her clever lyrics and startling imagery. I like a woman who can turn a phrase -- and heck, when you add an eclectic mix of folk-steeped pop music, well that just rounds out the entire package now, doesn't it?

Oh, and did I mention she's got one of the most proper, adorable British accents possible? And yes, you can even hear it through to her singing voice.

For the October 20th Edition of Tunes for Tuesdays, I would like to turn your attention to one of Laura Marling's bittersweet, heartbreaking singles. Hailing from the My Manic and I EP, "New Romantic" is a track I could not stop listening to when my brother first pointed it out to me. It still amazes me that her vulnerability can seem so universal in this moment. And, really -- you need to be impressed by a girl whose first commercial single consists of her guitar and a compelling set of vocals ONLY. Sadly, I cannot embed the video here (as the option was disabled on YouTube). But please, do follow the link for a little shot of tragic, modern love, Marling-style. 

Still can't get enough of Ms. Marling? Well, check out Noah and the Whale (you might recognize the track, "5 Years Time" from... I believe it was a commercial for a vehicle of some kind) and listen to her guest appearance on the Mystery Jet's track, "Young Love." 

Regardless, she is a singer I've got my eye on.... in more ways than one, perhaps. 

I suggest you do the same.

Can. Lit's Golden Girl: Annabel Lyon

I invite readers with a general lack of interest in literature to gloss over this post, at least for this evening.

For the rest of you:

ANNABEL LYON IS A WHOLE WORLD OF AWESOME WRAPPED IN ANOTHER LAYER OF RIDICULOUS TALENT AND FINISHED WITH AN EXTRA HELPING OF HAHT.....

*Ahem*

Thank you for bearing with me on that one. So, it would appear that our golden girl has achieved the unthinkable this year with the release of her first full-length novel, The Golden Mean. If you recall from an earlier post of mine, Ms. Lyon was selected for the Scotiabank Giller Prize's Shortlist, an honour that is reserved for some of the finest Canadian writers to lift a pen.

Oh, but it gets so much better from there, ladies.

In Canadian terms, Annabel Lyon has managed to secure a coveted, unthinkable hat trick in the realm of literary awards for The Golden Mean:

• She's been Shortlisted for the Scotiabank Giller Prize.
• She's a finalist for The Rogers Writers' Trust Fiction Prize.
• And she just received a nomination for The Governor General's Literary Award in English-language fiction.

Yeah -- that is jaw dropping news if ever I read it. She is set. I mean, even if The Golden Mean was rudely passed over for each of these awards, the nominations alone will give her the final boost she needs to secure her place in the Can. lit. scene.

I tell you, I thought I had a literary crush before but now, it's turned into full out, shameless adoration.

Cheers to you, Annabel Lyon, and the epic wonder that 2009 has become for you.

Make up Review

Sodele, I love this Foundation! As soon as I apply it, it blends with my skin...funny i wear it everyday, people are convinced that the flawless finish is my actual make up free face! The only negative is that i find the texture to be a bit thin, so several coats are needed for a flawless look ALSO my shade *caramel* can't be bought at boots/superdrug etc. I was so angry when i discovered that the only shade they stocked was *mahagony*. Is Boots/Superdrug trying to tell me that your either mahagony or 'tan'. I found my shade on a Market can you believe it! I was pissed!

L'Oreal...i don't buy anything from their range...why??? I honestly think that black women are not their target market, thus they are neglecting us. It's a bit sad because Make up was made for the woman, not just the white woman! I'm not fooled by Kerri Washington(who could do so much betta than L'Oreal) randomly popping up in their ads.....you can't fool me! Revlon on the other hand is much more catering. Im into dramatic lipstick these days so naturally I love their Lip collection called   

72 Shades!!!! Here's my fave  

 I keep on buying 2 every frikkin day!!!! I stand at 14...I know i have a problem!

So I got Myself Some Brogues

Bought a lovely pair of Brogues(jazz jumps) from Primark, they were only £7 but look the business. Cant wait to use and abuse them.( note; I DO NOT ABUSE MY SHOES,MY PRECIOUS,PRECIOUS....)

The Brightest Note

Just a short post tonight -- it's a snapshot I wanted to save for posterity. I tell you, the smallest actions seem to hold the greatest value, it would appear.

My sister and I went out to a well-deserved dinner at Oliver & Bonacini's this evening. We've both been stressing about various issues and needed the chance to vent/process/rebuild to preserve our combined sanity.

And heck, a portobello burger with a side of tomato, watermelon, and feta salad is a gorgeous conduit for conversation.

We discussed her upcoming wedding, a potential weekend trip to Las Vegas (umm, yeah, it just might happen, kids!), and other stressors. About an hour later, the tables around us were slowly vacated until it was simply us sitting in our section.

When a lull in the conversation arose, my sister jumped right in: "So, I heard you told Mom and Dad about your news." News? Quoi? -- OH! "News," yeah, THAT news. Yeah, I came out to Mom and Dad at the end of August.

Turns out my Mom spoke with my sister the DAY AFTER I came out. I have to admit, I wasn't sure if my parents were ever going to bring up that conversation with my sister or my brother -- I thought it might turn into one of those uncomfortable silences we are notorious for creating and maintaining at all costs. But no, I was certainly mistaken!

I want to remember this evening because of the confidence I felt while talking with my sister. I never dreamt that this sort of ease could exist in a conversation that dealt with my orientation. I'm snug in that sleepy sort of happiness, the kind that comes after a long day that ends on the brightest note possible.

I'd say it's a decent starting point to another weekend, wouldn't you?

Judge me if u want but i lurve these shops!

I love this coat from Matalan it's £25

£19 from Primark

£21 from Primark

I do have to say since starting uni and being broke all the time shops such as Primark and Matalan are my new Haven. I know there some social stigma attached to these shops, them being 'cheap and not good quality' but I still love these shops in fact imma go and treat myself this week so PriMa here I come.

Winter Outfit

Winter outfit by ava-chou a.k.a Billy Jean featuring Balmain

And they say with age comes......

....no words.This woman is awe-worthy. FAB.

Ohh Miss Washington how I Love Thee

Flawless.

Halle and Gabriel@ the 6th Annual Keep A Child Alive Black Ball

Stunning.

How I Knew: Childhood Celebrity Crushes

Oh, the younger years -- how I love to reminisce. All the free time, all the inflated dreams, all the new wonders to discover. And, lest we forget, all those little signs and hints piling around us that would one day break down the closet doors in front of us...

Yes, I find this type of retrospective work is a core concern for all the queer kids out there. As an adult, I've gained a bit of perspective on my interests and impulses during my childhood and, well -- all signs point to G-A-Y.

I was inspired to write this post tonight after the lesbian/bi girl Mecca that is AfterEllen.com decided to honour America's National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11) with a compilation of actresses who nudged us even the tiniest bit toward an open and proud adulthood.

So, I dedicate this one to some of the ladies who dominated my television set during those vital, pre-teen years. Check 'em out, compare notes:

Amy Jo Johnson as Kimberly (aka. The Pink Ranger)

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1993-1995)

So, from the tender age of seven, I knew I liked a femme girl who could kick my ass. It's a trend that has remained constant throughout my life, one I wouldn't realize in great detail until I was about 18. Still though, the Pink Ranger embodies all the qualities I like in a lady -- heck, she probably even established most of those guidelines even before I was aware they existed. She's spunky, she fights for what's right, she can stand up and defend herself regardless of the situation, and she can weild a crossbow. Alright, that last one isn't a necessary trait in a partner, per se, but it's damn cool. I always wondered why I hated Tommy so much... that jerk of a Green-later-White Ranger.... could it be connected to the fact that HE won Kimberly's heart? .... Just maybe....

Tiffani Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski

Saved By The Bell (1989-1993)

As a young'un, I could not WAIT to be in high school. To be 14-years-old was like some misguided Holy Grail for me when I was in grade one. Serious, I knew I was going to be awesome and popular and start my own band and did I mention I would be cool and famous? Yeah. 'Cause that's what always happens. Anyway, Kelly Kapowski and her absolute flawlessness was one of the driving forces behind my impatience to grow up. I mean, there were girls like HER in HIGH SCHOOL? It seemed a travesty to be six-years-old at the time. It wasn't until I was in high school for myself that I understood it was never Zack Morris I was crushin' on -- no, I wanted to BE Zack Morris in order to get close to a girl like Kelly.

Lucy Lawless as Xena

Xena: Warrior Princess (1995-2001)

.... Do I even need to explain this one? I seem to recall that Xena came on either right before or right after Power Rangers during the 1995 season. All I remember was the close proximity of fierce, gorgeous women. And that's all I NEED to remember. Oh, Xena -- both a warrior AND a princess. What gay girl in the making could resist you? It's almost not fair that she embodies that much hotness. The battle cry, the discus, the plated chest armour -- she is perfection in leather, yes ma'am.

Persia White as Denise Williams and Rachel Wilson as Tamira Goldstein

Breaker High (1997-1998)

Curious to find out how to capture the attention of pre-teen audiences in the late 90s? Take a group of adventurous, attractive high school students and place them on a yacht/floating school that whisks them around the globe. I wanted to live in this show when it debuted in 1997. Serious. It fed into my dreams of high school even more than Saved By The Bell. And again, it was the women of the cast that provided much of the incentive behind those transatlantic travel/education plans of mine. Persia White was cast as Denise Williams, the intelligent and enlightened teen-turned-activist. She was sharp, sweet, and oh-so-nerdy. And, I can't forget about Rachel Wilson as Tamira Goldstein, the bashful, sensitive wallflower who took a full series to find herself. *Sigh* Love 'em both, even if they can't wield a discus or a crossbow.

And, to celebrate this trip to the past, I will leave you with the ever-catchy theme song for Breaker High -- carry me away, indeed.

... How about you? Who caused your young, queer heart to skip?

Purple Lips

    Lovin it! Already looking for the right shade to compliment my skin tone.

Oldies But Goldies

That's my current hairstyle!

Tunes for Tuesdays: Tegan and Sara

Got the fever for the flavour of a new track? 

Never fear -- Tunes for Tuesdays holds the cure.

***

I think it's safe to suggest that Tegan and Sara epitomize this blog:

• Cute: Well, I DID provide pictures for all y'all.
• Queer: Both sisters are true blue lesbians, out and proud. Serious, Google these ladies if you're skeptical. (You will also find more photo evidence of the aforementioned cuteness.)
• Canadian: The Quins hail from Calgary, Alberta but have since moved as adults -- Tegan lives in Vancouver, BC while Sara resides in Montreal, QC.

Yep -- I think we have all the mandatory categories covered. 

I doubt I need to give the Quin twins a detailed introduction. In recent years, Tegan and Sara have garnered widespread support for their music across Canada and well into the combined scenes of the U.S. and Europe. In addition, lesbian and bi ladies everywhere can point to these innovative, energetic musicians as both icons and peers of the queer community. 

Makes a gal excited to be gay.

I discovered them after my first few months of employment at HMV. I was sixteen and their album, If It Was You, was on constant repeat at our location. I was just in the middle of coming out to myself and most of my female co-workers were of the queer persuasion -- needless to say, Tegan and Sara hold a special place in the saga that is my coming out experience.

So, for this post, I would like to turn your attention to the first single off Tegan and Sara's new album, Sainthood -- "Hell." This title more or less describes how I feel at the moment. I'm home from work with a pair of swollen ears and sinus cavities that hate me. Margh. 

My doctor advised me to take a dose of this track once every hour until the lyrics brand themselves into my mind (so I may then sing this around my friends and get them just as hooked):

I know YOU feel it, too -- this album's going to be a big one for Tegan and Sara. Check it out when it drops on Oct. 27, 2009. I know, I've been such a tease, sitting here and introducing you to an album that won't be released for another two weeks.

What can I say, I am a harsh and cruel blogette. You'll just have to keep hitting repeat on that YouTube clip up there, muaha. 

Cruel, indeed.