Fag/Hag 2.0: The Next Generation

O'Neill and I fancy ourselves to be a bit of an anomaly to the queer community.

If you will allow me to cater to the stereotypes for a moment, it would appear that the gay girl/gay boy friendship is an impossible occurrence. 

Throughout my undergrad experience, it was unmistakable that the queers were divided -- the lesbians tended to split off and form their own entourages and the gay gents mingled with the other boys and a select collection of straight girls for the most part. Aside from the monthly campus events and the Thursday bar nights, the gay girls and boys rarely interacted with one another. We were civil, of course -- but it was difficult to move past the usual pleasantries.

Enter: O'Neill and I.

We came out to one another first before we entered The Scene. We bonded over detailed high school secrets, our shared difficulties on the home front, and hell, we even revealed our matching crushes on the Gyllenhaal siblings. (Maggie for me, Jake for him, naturally). We balanced one another and kept each other grounded through the toughest, the strangest, and the most exhilarating moments of our young lives.

And we also seemed to raise a few eyebrows as a result.

A mutual (and also gay) friend of ours revealed a bizarre and confusing idea that had been circulating throughout our campus' queer community after my and O'Neill's initial debut -- folks were under the impression the two of us were dating. Dating? .... Huh?

To elaborate, it turns out the crowd interpreted us as a "bi-curious girl with an extremely supportive boyfriend" -- I mean.... what? Really? Granted, I now use this story to gloat over the fact that I'm "more gay" than O'Neill, however, that does not help to mask the strange assumption at the root of this story.

According to the status quo, hetero and homo alike -- a gay girl and a gay boy cannot be best friends.

What a sad and baffling conclusion.

That tired and restrictive notion that women and men can NEVER be 'just friends' has somehow managed to worm its way into a social group connected by their same-sex attraction.

... How did this ever come about? I can't even pretend to know. What I do know is my undergrad experience within the queer community was defined by this assumption. I often got the impression the girls were suspicious of me, acting as though I was poised to infiltrate their female-centred world or something to that effect. It was disorienting at best, but it taught me the true value of that one friend who would always understand me.

O'Neill and I reflected on it all one evening as we attempted to define our friendship status.

Fag Hag couldn't grasp it -- I am definitely not a straight girl, so that was ruled out.

Fag/Fag Hag seemed redundant.... and I felt strange about having the term 'fag' attached to my title (haha, though 'hag' is apparently more acceptable).

... Lo, we turned to Fag/Hag 2.0: The Next Generation of Queer Friendships. I like to think of HAG as an acronym: Hot And Gay. I figure it sums me up rather well. *Checks her ego at the door*

Who knew that a friendship could seem this revolutionary?