SUCCESS!!!

IT IS DONE!

SUCCESS IS MINE!

I AM OFFICIALLY OUT ON THE HOME FRONT!

... It's time to crack open the champagne, set the neighbourhood alight with fireworks, and just generally bask in the glory that IS being out to your parents.

It happened last night. I thought I was going to be ill with the stress of it. But, I had a spiel plotted out which helped matters along. Serious, I mean I spent company hours making sure my 'speech' would cover all the main topics I needed.

The jist:

• I am gay.
• I am confident with this identity.
• I love and respect my parents and needed them to know this important part about me.
• I am safe.

The spiel was about, oh... five minutes long at most. But, I spent about an hour to an hour and a half adding detail and tackling as much information as I could. I mean, I think fear develops from a lack of understanding, so I tried to provide them with as much concrete material as possible. I could tell Dad felt awkward, but he tried his best to keep the conversation going and make sure I felt secure in myself. Mom definitely looked upset at the start, but I feel as though my confidence mixed with my (surprising) amount of level-headed eloquence coaxed her away from her initial sadness.

I think that's what caught me the most off-guard -- I was calm once I started speaking. I was even confident throughout it. I made sure to take control of the conversation and take responsibility for their well-being and their understanding, and I think that's what turned the occasion into a positive one. And humour! I even incorporated humour into it all to break the tension which worked wonders, I tell you.

I've talked to quite a number of people about their own coming out experiences and I think I figured out how to approach the subject through those stories. I remember talking to O'Neill about this a while ago. He always stressed two vital ideas that every queer kid should tell their family during their Coming Out: that you love your parents and that you're safe. I tried to point out as many issues/thoughts that might be swirling around my parents' heads in that moment and I had planned out responses to them all (often before they could even ask the questions themselves).

My Dad reminded me that I'm his daughter, and being gay would never change that fact and would never change his respect for me.

My Mom told me she loved me and that she was thankful to know I felt confident and comfortable with talking to them and being honest with them. She even said she wanted me to know that should I ever want them to meet a special someone, our crew would be welcoming and open.

Honestly, I feel so at ease right now. I feel as if I could take on the world. I know my parents are concerned that life will get complicated for me at times, especially with being out -- but I'd rather deal with issues as an OUT woman than hiding away that aspect of me.

Hot damn -- what a day to be alive, kids.

Awkward Office Moments: Round Two

Perhaps I'm anticipating Monday morning -- with the news of my sister's engagement poised to spread throughout our office, I am certain that the Awkward Office Moments will explode in ways I cannot even anticipate.

Yet.

As it stands, I ran into two rather awkward moments with, you guessed it -- the Office Matchmaker herself. I was lulled into a false sense of security over the past month. I thought maybe she'd turned her efforts elsewhere.

Alas. No one shall be spared. Or, rather, I shall not be spared until my contract is wrapped and tied with a big, shiny ribbon.

Scene One: Wednesday, August 19, 2009. Mid-morning. Miz Moffatt flips through another stack of mail, searching for the rebate stragglers. The OM stares and date-stamps invoices. Enter Finky, the office jokester and all-around cool guy. He spots the stack of mail and stops to chat.

Finky: HEY! It's MAAAAIL TIIIIIIIIIME! THE MAIL'S HERE!

Miz Moffatt: YEAH! You better believe it's mail time.

Finky: Aren't you gonna sing the song?

Miz Moffatt: ...The mail song?

Finky: Yeah, if it's mail time, you've got to sing the Mail Song. Geeze, [Miz Moffatt], it's company policy. Haven't you ever seen-

The OM: MALE song?? Oh come on, now, [Finky] -- is this some kind of song to help [Miz Moffatt] with the guys? Like a Siren's song or something?

Finky: *Confused/weirded out*.... What? What are you talking about?

The OM: Well you said "male time," and I thought you meant it was some kind of song to grab the attention of some cute guys. *Looks over to Miz Moffatt, trying to wink -- Miz Moffatt keeps her head down, an inborn defense against matchmakers everywhere*

Finky: *Laughing* No, it's the Mail Song. *Points at the mail in Miz Moffatt's hands* My sons are big on Blue's Clues right now and they've got this mail song they're always singing. I was making a reference to THAT. Why would I be telling her to sing a song for MALES?

The OM: Oh, HAHA! Look at me, my mind is just too creative -- mistaking "mail" for "male." I thought I was going to have to call HR on you, [Finky]. I thought you were being inappropriate, a ha ha!

Finky: *Motioning to me, trying to make light of the awkwardness* Yeah, well -- you shoulda heard what we were talkin' about yesterday!

Miz Moffatt: *Nods and insinuates she's on the inside of confidential, if somewhat racy, office conversation*

... Yeah, I would say The OM was certainly being "creative".... if by "creative" you mean "out of her mind" or "particularly challenged by the English language."

Scene Two: Friday, August 21, 2009. Early afternoon.

This next episode was a long one. I don't think I could do it justice in a script format. I got trapped at The OM's desk for about fifteen minutes while she told me about this "amazing show" she dedicates hours to on the weekend. It's this lame, Canadian-made show called Style By Jury. It's another one of your formulaic makeover series where they take unsuspecting, 'unattractive' specimens and transform them with traditional concepts of feminine/masculine accessories and 'life coaching.' Except, with this series, the style-challenged individual is subjected to the judgments of her peers, or the 'jury' in this case. The first round is always brutal, but the jury changes their minds after the makeover.

I've seen it. And I'm not particularly impressed with it.

Anyway -- The OM has now made it her mission to get me 'hooked' on the show by reciting previous episodes to me while I'm trying to print off cheque batches. She talked about one she'd seen last weekend where this brilliant, though socially-inept, scholar was scrubbed, polished, and remolded into some sort of fashionista. Why do I bother to point this out?

.... Oh, perhaps it had something to do with The OM's blunt and embarrassing assessment of butch women.

This scholar was 'butch,' according to The OM. She also referenced two previous episodes where 'butch' women were featured as the fashion abominations. 

But it was the language she used to describe them. 

The OM kept focusing on the fact that these women were just "SO unattractive, I mean, really butch" and how "they had closets with no skirts and no dresses and not even a pair of cute shoes or anything." 

I think what caught me the most off-guard was the idea that The OM felt this show was, and I quote, "giving these women a chance to express who they really are" -- she tried to argue that these women "were just so masculine and butch because they'd never really been given the chance to be feminine."

.... WHAT DA DONK?!  In retrospect, I think this is less of an awkward moment and more of a fumin' mad, irritated with traditional concepts of gender and the attempt to include me within heteronormative assessments of others, kind of moment. It was just the ease that The OM had with the idea that feminine woman = normal, butch woman = abnormal, must change to make acceptable. 

I'm struggling to find the words to explain my internal reaction to this. It was just another one of those moments when you realise how powerful the status quo IS and how rarely people within that space question such assumptions. It was eerie at best, I tell you.

Should be interesting to see what Monday brings.....

Tea Parties with the Cuz

Right -- this update is another week late. I've had a number of post ideas buzzing about my brain during the past seven days, so I'll be playing a touch of catch-up as a result.

On Sunday, August 16, I had my Cousin over for an epic tea party/film fest/fan fiction memory tour that turned out to be a brilliant afternoon/evening.

She spent the week here in our hometown, a brief break from the translation world of Ottawa, ON. As I referenced in an earlier post, I decided to throw all my energy into the menu I prepared for our tea party.

Thought I should share the items with you all, just in case you're planning a quiet get together and brewing a pot of delicious tea with a friend.

Epic, Tea Deluxe Menu

• Rosemary Butter Cucumber Sandwiches
• Dill-Basil Cream Cheese Cucumber Sandwiches
• Avocado and Black Bean Hummus Rolls
• Shish Kabobs with an Asian-Inspired Orange Sauce
• Bruschetta
• Maple/Oatmeal/Red Currant Scones
• Caesar Salad (with some homemade croutons)
• Graham Cracker Dessert Squares: One of them was a little strawberry cheesecake square and the other was a rocky road square)

Am I awesome, or what? It was entirely too much food for two people to eat, but my family sampled quite a few of the items and folks seemed to agree that it was a success. I'm always nervous to cook for people. I mean, I cook for myself all the time (it comes with the territory of being the only vegetarian in the house), but for others...? I'm always nervous of negative responses, especially from the meat enthusiasts of the world. But yeah, I got favorable reactions from the lot of 'em. 

My Cousin told me she thinks I found my calling in life -- a caterer for large-scale events. I think I've got the enthusiasm for food, for sure. But I certainly do not have the draw to go through culinary school or anything of that ilk. As for entertaining friends, I'm thrilled to start exploring this area. And heck, who can turn down a tea party?

Had an excellent time with my Cousin overall. We watched Help! starring the Beatles, our favorite episode of M*A*S*H* ("The Smell of Music"), a selection of Monty Python episodes, and a handful of Harvey Birdman clips. 

And OH, the fan fiction. When we were thirteen-years-old, we actually wrote M*A*S*H* fan fiction. I mean, I know I've always been a nerd, it's just amazing to see how far back it actually spanned. We even wrote M*A*S*H*-themed dialogues for our grade school French classes. 

Mmm hmm.

We had another evening full of writing and tea on Friday, August 21, while the boys of our family had their band practice. (Oh, yeah, FYI -- my Dad, my brother, my uncle, and my other cousin are all in a band together and play at charity events across the GTA. Hey, I wasn't joking when I said music is in my genetic code.)

It was refreshing and inspired me (yet again) to pick up a pen or take to my laptop with a new writing fury. I think that might explain the two entries from this very day.

***

P.S. -- I re-branded my blog. I found "Queer in Canada" was a little... broad, perhaps. I'm still open to trying new titles, not quite sure what will fit best. I like the sound of "Cute, Queer, Canadian," though. We shall see.

I GOT SCOOPED?!

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

I had finally worked up the courage I needed to come out. I had the whole spiel worked out, I had a clear weekend, and I was stoked to get myself right out there in the open.

... And if I had just skipped out on the gym this morning, I could have done it. I could have been OUT.

But, Miz Moffatt -- what on EARTH could have stopped you? You've been building yourself up to this moment all month.

...... This morning, my sister and her boyfriend got engaged. I am simultaneously excited/thrilled and pissed off.

I'VE BEEN SCOOPED! 

SCOOPED, I TELL YOU!

Now, I seriously CAN'T come out this weekend. I mean.... how can you come out to your family on the same day your sister is finally engaged after 7 years of dating? As I walked through the front door after being at the gym, my Mom was already on the phone with my sister -- she told all of us to "not go ANYWHERE" as she and her boyfriend were headed over "to tell us some news."

I was only at the gym for an hour. 

If I had JUST SKIPPED IT, I would have been out and I would have felt no guilt about 'ruining a family weekend' or trying to 'upstage my older sister.'

I AM SO FUMIN' MAD AT MYSELF...... though, going to the gym = a chance at hotter looking arms, so, I guess not everything is terrible. And hell, my sister is engaged -- I should be celebrating!

So, I guess the coming out is postponed for yet another weekend. It's hard feeling disappointed by such amazing news -- what a mix of strange emotion. Oh, Moffatt -- you certainly take the cake now, don't you?

Zoe Saldana does Vanity fair.com

WOWZA!!!!SIMPLY STUNNING!!!

Odds and Ends

- Discovered (via Chantal) that a fellow classmate/former drama major I went to high school with is also a gay gal. YES! I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE! 

- Friday Night: Watched my brother's band, Alright Alright, headline at another GTA bar. Night ended with six cops and a tactical force showing up....? You know you're in the suburbs when the cops have nothing better to do than show up at a bar due to a noise complaint....

- Played pool vs. my Dad -- Dad won the first round (I technically scratched after breaking... *Shakes head at self*), I won the second round. Absolutely love the fact that I always seem to be the only girl playing pool every time I visit a bar these days. Badass points? Perhaps...

- Got a wee bit tipsy while watching the band... realized I haven't attained that state for, oh.... possibly a year. What the heck. (And yes, I mean that as a statement.)

- Received a postcard from My Advocate -- She is in Rome and eating entirely too much gelato. Can't wait 'til she returns this Wednesday! :D

- Spent most of this afternoon prepping various items for the tea party tomorrow with my Cousin. Will have to provide a detailed menu either tomorrow evening or on Monday. As I told my family, "Oh yeah -- I'm pullin' out ALL THE STOPS."

- Been luxuriating in the gorgeous weather from the last number of days. What's this? Temperatures above 30C? Summer has arrived, folks. Point me to the sunscreen.

- Hurt my knees at the gym. Yargh. Extra jogging = Ancient knees, it would appear. I've had to adjust accordingly and scale back my usual routine (and I've also had to go lighter on my daily walks/forego my gym jogging). I need new running shoes, no doubt. I believe mine are at least six years old. Yeah. That could be why I keep hurting the ol' knees....

- Back to exploring recipes and new treats. Giving scones a whirl -- I'm not a baker by any means and the dough I've slapped together looks.... rather incorrect. Will update after I attempt baking them tomorrow.

- Sleep deprived. Here's where I drop off the map, for tonight at least.

Nia Long for PETA

Thoughts????

Well I actually like it, Fur ist shite!!!