Ins and Outs: Doctor's Edition

Closet: 1

Miz Moffatt: 0

Another innocent situation where I neglected to clarify. I went to an interview with a new doctor who's set up her new practice near the house. I'm in the process of switching doctors at the moment -- it's a detailed situation.

The Moffatt Notes version: The current doctor refuses to do full physical examinations for female patients. I want a doctor who will consider my ENTIRE health.

Anyhow, the new doctor is fantastic. She's knowledgeable, professional, and personable. She's a doctor I could approach with any concern and I know she would respect me (even if I was overreacting to certain symptoms). Most importantly, she adheres to a preventative approach to medicine. Rather than throwing pills at symptoms, she wants to work with patients to reduce the chances of illness in the first place. A+.

But, hrmmm..... interviews.

It strikes when marital status is brought up. I can sense all the queer readers nodding their heads now, we've all been there.

Doctor: And do you have a boyfriend?

Miz Moffatt: Uh....Nope, I'm a single gal.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry. It'll happen for you.

I had a nice, insider's chuckle with that one. Still, I had the familiar rush of thoughts when presented with this:

"Do I come out? I'm evading the truth if I don't correct her. Though, I am being honest when I say there's no gentleman in the picture. Still, does the situation warrant my coming out? Am I taking a step back if I keep silent? Is coming out relevant in this situation?"

It's quite the conundrum.

I opted for silence. Now, I should explain -- I didn't feel pressure to hide myself. It just didn't seem relevant at the time. If I were in a relationship, you can bet your buttons I would make it clear I was a gay gal. But, when you're single and you're in a doctor's office detailing the extent of your medical history in the hopes of finding a better doctor -- I don't know, coming out was just not on the priorities list there.

I still feel a little weird from the experience, though. There's a piece of me that's got the scolding face on and is harping at me for sitting on my heels. But, the majority of me belongs to the "Enh" School of Thought.

Ho hum.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

Such a bittersweet win last night. The nation mourns and celebrates with the latest addition to Team Canada's medal count:

• Joannie Rochette, Ladies' Figure Skating (Bronze, Feb. 25)

It was only four days after her mother died from a heart attack and Rochette still managed to pull out a medal-winning skate. It was a heartbreaking and uplifting moment on the podium, that's for sure. I wish the circumstances could have been brighter for Rochette, but there's no doubt she had a brilliant performance. She won respect for her perseverance long before the medals were awarded.

It's been quite the Olympic Games so far. I think I'm not alone in stating that.

A Double Shot of Tegan and Sara

Fans, rejoice -- the Quins return with another off-beat and oh-so-sweet video AND with a fresh, danceable collaboration with Tiësto.

WHAT?? I could hear Tegan and Sara while I'm dancing at 2 AM in a club downtown?!

First things first, ladies.

***

"Alligator," Sainthood (2009)

It's melancholic pop meets Canadian winter playground. Hmm, but the aesthetic of those dance segments looks familiar.... I mean, with the white background and the clothes as a stark contrast..... I could have sworn I've seen a similar look before.....

Hmm.

Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara, "Feel It In My Bones," Kaleidoscope (2009)

I have to admit, I am loving this collaboration (and this snazzy video). I've had the chance to hear it on a late night drive back from a friend's house and it kicks it at that hour. As I look into Tiësto's album further, it appears he's taken the initiative to collaborate with some stellar Canadian women. Other artists on his album include Nelly Furtado ("Who Wants to Be Alone") and Emily Haines ("Knock You Out"). I will have to give this one a spin -- I have ample evidence of this album's awesomeness.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

YEAAAAAH! Team Canada defends their title and takes home the 2010 gold medal for women's hockey! Three cheers to those golden girls of the rink.

And, P.S. -- Sarah Vaillancourt, the lone out athlete of 2010's Team Canada roster, can add another gold to her collection. All I can add now is, "KYAAAAAAAAA!!"

A Single Gal's Reflection on Weddings

I'm about to lose all the edge I generated for myself with that last post.

Wait for it.........

..... Wait........... for......... it--

IT'S REFLECTIONS ON WEDDINGS!!1!

I know, I know -- I am a single gal. I have not been in a serious relationship. I am aware this indicates I am "putting the cart before the horse," as the expression states. I don't even know that I will get married. It's not a future a dreamt of as a child and it's not quite on The List of Everything I Need To Do While I Am Here.

Still, I was caught off-guard with certain meandering thoughts while The Sister was going through her tight four months of prep for her special day. As much as I reflected on the relationship between my Sister and her newly-minted husband, it cast a rather stark spotlight on my own affairs (or, lack thereof).

Hmm, perhaps "stark" is a little... corrosive in tone. Truth is those four months got me to consider a path I'd never imagined for myself.

I have these little pockets of memory from the whole experience:

I remember The Sister's first dress fitting -- it was the first time I'd visited a bridal store and I was curious to check it out. Little did I know it was also the location where the bridesmaid dresses would be discovered as well. Anyhow, as The Sister was being Bride-ified, I took the time to browse through the racks. Oh, silly Moffatt -- that's how it starts. I stopped at those regal, princess-style dresses with crinoline for days. All I could do was touch the beading and imagine a girl walking down the aisle toward me in one.

SO RANDOM.

It hit me right in my little Moffatt heart. I tell you, helping someone plan their wedding warps your mind. It starts uncovering these weird thoughts you never knew existed.

I think the idea of it hit hardest on the night of the rehearsal. O'Neill and I were loitering in the ceremony room, protecting some coats and camera equipment while the families were downstairs at the banquet hall. O'Neill asked with that comfortable bluntness we've built: "How about you? Can you see yourself up there?" I think I gave a bashful "No," but we were both acting tougher than we felt at the time.

It's weird once extended family members get involved. I wouldn't want my wedding to invite those snide, passive-aggressive and homophobic comments. If I could keep it to immediate family and friends, I'd be in the clear --wait a minute, see that? You see what happens? I start talking like I will get married. I need to think of meeting people and dating first, not this running head-long down the aisle.

Egads.

***

I was inspired for tonight's post by emily hartl over at AfterEllen. She has a Styled Out column on the the site where she discusses the ins and outs of lesbian fashion. This week, she focused on weddings with a gay twist. She pointed out another site called So You're EnGAYged, a gorgeous and comprehensive guide for queer couples and straight allies. Serious, flip through the wedding photos and just TRY to suppress the cartoon hearts that will abound.

Conversely, Kama over at The Queer Behind The Mirror tackles the issues inherent to the phrase, "gay marriage." I love picking apart language and pushing the connotations that hide in seemingly innocuous words -- Kama makes a compelling argument about the heteronormative edge embedded in the term "gay marriage."

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

What the heck, Team Canada. I am forced from the blog for ONE DAY and that's when you start "own[ing] the podium." Gosh darn. Our newest medal winners include:

• Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue, Ice Dancing (Gold, Feb. 22)
• Ashleigh McIvor, Ladies' Ski Cross (Silver, Feb. 23)
• Clara Hughes, Speed Skating - Ladies' 5000 m (Bronze, Feb. 24)
• Heather Moyse and Kaillie Humphries, Women's Bobsleigh (Gold, Feb. 24)
• Shelley-Ann Brown and Helen Upperton, Women's Bobsleigh (Silver, Feb. 24)
• Jessica Gregg, Kalyna Roberge, Marianne St-Gelais, Tania Vicent, Short-Track Speed Skating - Ladies' 3000 m Relay (Silver, Feb. 24)

I imagine Canadians across the nation are drunk on the achievements of these athletes tonight. The ladies have amped-up our awards ceremonies with their intense (and clustered) medal-worthy performances.

Sets a queer girl's heart all a-flutter. Oh Canada, indeed.

Tunes for [Wednes]days: Alison Mosshart

One cocked eyebrow and a slow pull on a cigarette is all it takes for her to seduce a crowd. She packs heat in her vocals, striking a fine balance between assertive blues and back room grit. With guitarist Jamie Hince, the indie clubs were ablaze with fuzz guitar riffs and a take-no-prisoners sex appeal. Now, with Jack White on her side, she's got the world in her cross-hairs.

She's the girl your Mama warned you about.

She is Alison Mosshart.

***

I cannot believe I have waited this long to showcase The Sex that is Alison Mosshart. It is a travesty to this blog. Serious.

I make amends with this post, ladies.

Now, I believe I've made it clear I like a girl who wields her feminine charms like a cold, clean blade. Amanda Palmer, PJ Harvey -- these are the women who command stronger magnetism than I can ever hope to channel. Alison Mosshart has an edge in her that she's willing to throw you from. It's reckless liberation at its hottest.

She is the kind of girl I'd roll out of bed past midnight for if she called and asked for a pack of cigarettes.

I first came across Mosshart on a now extinct music segment titled The Wedge. MuchMusic sponsored it back when the station played music. It was an hour-long program designed for indie artists and other avant garde musicians to get their sound to the masses and to break the endless drone of mainstream manufacture. It was a sleepless night in high school, somewhere near 2 AM, when The Kills found me: it was love at first riff.

Before I lumber on with excessive praise and more groveling for Alison Mosshart, I will let that same tune speak for itself:

Sweet damn. Hits me every time.

I would like to point out now that I find it astounding The Kills make poor grammar a sweltering scene for seduction. Case and point:

• "I won't move over/I won't get gone" - "Fried My Little Brains" (Keep On Your Mean Side, 2003)
• "Did you got me the good ones/The real good ones, what you got" - "The Good Ones" (No Wow, 2005)

Mmm.... I know I'm a former English major, but MMMMosshart.

Over the course of her career, Mosshart has lent her searing vocals to numerous collaborations with an eclectic group of musicians. If it means I can listen to more of her with the headphones on, then so be it. I will champion it at all costs.

A quick glance at her credits, for the curious:

• 1999: "The State of 6AM" and "Voice of the Actors" with Palatka on The End of Irony
• 2002: "No Smoke with The Foundation Band on the EP Homecoming.
• 2005: "Old Child" with French rock group Dionysos
• 2006: Duet with Brian Molko for "Meds" on Placebo's album, Meds.
• 2006: Back-up vocals on "Dolls" with Primal Scream on Riot City Blues.
• 2009: "Fire and the Thud" with the Arctic Monkeys on Humbug.

At the start of last year, Mosshart even launched a new band project with Jack White of The White Stripes. The Dead Weather's first album, Horehound (2009), features Mosshart on lead vocals and with guitar and percussion credits to round out her presence. Again, their sound is pure grit and it draws rock back to its roots in pure raunch.

For The Dead Weather component of this evening's post, I thought I'd share their first single, "Hang You from the Heavens." Mosshart is given the spotlight on this track and, heck -- she even co-wrote it for the album.

Heck, I'd take a black eye from her if she waltzed in with a song like that.

For now, I'll settle for music to shudder to.

I.O.U.

I.O.U: One Tunes for Tuesdays post and an additional post to cover the Wednesday shift.

Reasons:

• The Internet chez Moffatt was out all day. And it didn't even leave me a note to tell me where it was at.
• Visited with Ladies in Writing this evening, had to complete homework still...
• Editing a short story for an upcoming contest. Deadline: Feb. 28th. Eeek.

Never fear -- I shall return for posts tomorrow.

How My Parents Made Me Queer: Colour-Coding

Ever look back on those childhood memories to discover innocent oversights made by Mom and Dad that nudged you closer to coming out? It's as if they possessed gaydar without being able to read it.

It was Feral Geographer who first tipped me off to the concept of "How My Parents Made Me Queer." It's an idea I've contemplated over the years as I'm sure most queer kids have. In retrospect, it's as if we were all born waving rainbow-coloured flags -- yet, we can still remain invisible for decades until we make the choice to come out.

Regardless, I think we've all got those little quirks or those special interests that our parents picked up on and encouraged without realizing those points are vital to our coming out narratives as adults.

For me, the earliest encounter with this phenomenon was in household personal branding. Enter: Colour-coded towels.

After dealing with numerous fights regarding bathroom items, my Mom decided to make it clear for us. She bought toothbrushes and towels in specific colours that corresponded to the child in question. In that sense, we could claim ownership over objects with visual cues dyed right into them.

Of course, this is where the concepts of colour and gender become most apparent.

In our house, there are two girls and one boy. I am the middle child. My sister was assigned all the pink gear and my brother received all the blue gear.

So, where does that leave the second girl?

In the end, the official colour for Miz Moffatt was green. Gender neutral. From the start, I was not only born between siblings, I lived between the traditional colour spectrum designed for Girls and Boys. I was different from my sister's world of pink and different from my brother's world of blue.

I was green. I was uncharted territory. I was so going to become fascinated with concepts of gender norms and the act of transgressing those boundaries once I got older....

Subtle? Sure. And, to be fair, I was obsessed with the colour green as a child. I reached the point where I would only eat vegetables if they were green.

Still, though, I wonder how those first concepts of myself might have been affected had I been assigned pink or even purple. Or, what if the colours had been pastels instead of vibrant shades? I wonder if that helped set the tone for my childhood or if it was me who set the standard for the colours used to define me.

Oh, endless numbers of avenues to walk down with this thought, I imagine.

I'm intrigued to know what other small acts contributed to that proto-lesbian identity of mine. Perhaps it requires further investigation and more posts on my part. Hmm, we shall definitely see, dear readers.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

Congrtas to another medallist hailing from the Team Canada set:

• Kristina Groves, Speed Skating - Ladies' 1500 m (Silver, Feb. 21)

And, to make this particular match a little sweeter for all the queer women out there -- the Dutch gold medallist in the event, Ireen Wust, is an out and proud gay gal herself. So there's our Olympic moment of Cute, Queer, and Canadian personified.

(L-R) Kristina Groves, Ireen Wust, Martina Sablikova

Buddies in Bad Times: What A "Drag"

OH, TORONTO -- I love that cities tend to have such an air of potential to them. It's so simple to stumble across scenes or situations you were not expecting and it always seems to turn out for the best.

Last night was most certainly one of those occasions.

Hmm, point form, perhaps?:

• Headed to Ship Sharp's pad for 8:30 pm. Updated one another on our lives as dictated by the last two weeks. Ship Sharp's current working schedule makes me flinch. I mean, I need to kick myself into gear to match her energy levels and personal drive -- but I am still recovering on behalf of her and her intense workload.
• Rocked the jasmine tea (with bubbles!) and some popcorn. Narrated the thoughts of Buddy the Cat and his attempts to obtain popcorn.
• Introduced Ship Sharp to the sheer awesomeness of Lady Gaga's current single, "Telephone." Decided that music musts for the evening included: Plenty of Gaga, Beyonce, Rihanna, and Britney.
• Highlight: Ship Sharp and I waiting at the door, scratching the glass, and compelling Lady Gaga to dictate our evening.
• Rob and Ryan rolled into the townhouse complex at around.... 10:30 pm or 11 pm? Can't quite recall. Cruised into Toronto with the tracks at full volume. Whoever designed the lights for the CN Tower must have known about our plan -- we took it as a good omen that the CN Tower was washed in purple lights. Decided we could transform the car into a mobile club should our end destination prove to be a bust. Sang along to numerous Gaga tracks and some other fantastic gems.
• Arrived at Buddies in Bad Times to discover -- A PREMIUM DRAG SHOW! Yes, a collection of drag queens ruled the roost for most of our excursion. And, oh goodness, it was most excellent. The Hytes Sisters (Farenheit and Heavenly Heights) were the main performers for the evening, both bringing rather different styles with them. Heavenly was more focused when it came to the performance aspect, occasionally interacting with the crowd for a coy moment or two. Farenheit made it very clear that the stage was hers and we all best watch her every move. She was fantastic, though -- she stopped an obnoxious guy from dancing, she was sharp and full of sass if someone tried to heckle, and I was impressed with her ability to knock back drinks. She picked me out and got me to down the rest of my drink and she even managed to sass me when I was saucy enough to offer the empty bottle back.
• Note: I am one of those people who gets picked out at drag events, without fail. I am an approachable character, I suppose.
• Dancing started rather late, well after midnight. We were treated to Beyonce and a remixed Lady Gaga track, so we did quite well on the music. Highlights include: Ship Sharp's shoppin' cart dance, Ryan's fixation on buttons, and Rob's expert circle blocking abilities (gotta close ranks against the creepers, you know)

All in all, it was a fantastic evening. Now, ladies be warned -- the Buddies in Bad Times Cabaret tends to favour the gents. There are a handful of queer girls who attend, of course. But, the demographic is skewed toward the gay gents and their straight gal pals. Honestly, though, the atmosphere is a welcoming one. I tend to feel at home in theatre settings given that drama-related background of mine, so spending the night in an arts-intensive spot felt great.

The one drawback: Not a great beer selection. Hmm. Though, again, the bar shied toward mixed drinks as opposed to the bottle selection. I shake my head at all beers with a citrus flavour brewed into it. Serious, that's what lemon/lime slices are for.

I'm charged to start exploring more locations and checking out the Toronto nightlife further. Once The Advocate returns from Vancouver and once Ship Sharp's schedule mellows a touch, I vote we get back out there for a second round of shenanigans.

Ah, how I missed it.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATE:

Congrats to another gold medal athlete on Team Canada:

• Jon Montgomery, Men's Skeleton (Gold, Feb. 19)

I wish I could find a photo from his victory walk -- I saw footage of it on the news and a woman in the crowd handed him a pitcher of beer for his efforts. Serious. The man was still in his Spandex uniform and there he was strolling through the Olympic Village downing a pitcher of beer. So awesome and so freakin' Canadian all in one go.

I [heart] the Olympics.

Night on the Town: Buddies in Bad Times

Reasons I am a lucky son-of-a-gun:

• Received a premium Valentine via snail mail from The Advocate this week AND received two of her three special care packages this afternoon. Vancouver is being shipped here to the GTA in pieces which I am thankful for.
• Heading out this evening with Ship Sharp to experience the Toronto queer clubbin' scene for the first time. I cannot express how excited I am to see what T.dot has to offer a lil' gay gal like myself.

First stop on Miz Moffatt's Exploration: Buddies in Bad Times. I attended a show there when I was a bright, young first year kid and I loved it. It was the first time I'd been to the central hub of queer theatre here in Toronto -- I don't know if it's the same purple building from 2005, but I know the atmosphere will be the same.

So there, I return to Buddies for the first experience of queer club life. Who knew that one venue would hold such a vital position in one girl's coming out experience?

Should be excellent times, contrary to the name of the theatre. Will update tomorrow.

OD'ed on Adorable

Right-o -- it's a short post this evening. But readers beware, I've got an arsenal of cute on me.

I headed over to YouTube to check out some details on the top two members of my Harem and discovered these delightful, precious clips of the ladies. Seems both were keen on hanging with the Sesame Street crew to teach future generations and to garner greater admiration from yours truly.

First: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Oscar-nominated supporting actress:

And that is why her fans have dubbed her "Maggles." SO ADORABLE IT STINGS.

Second: Natalite Portman. In an elephant suit.

Dead Serious:

Ms. Portman's segment was an older one, but it is still cute beyond comprehension. I loved Sesame Street as a child, but I reckon I would have been glued to the screen had lovely ladies like these occupied that edu-tastic screen time.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

Seems Team Canada has shuffled off that notorious politeness and are taking no prisoners. Recent medal winners now include:

• Marianne St-Gelais, Short Track Speed Skating - Ladies' 500 m (Silver, Feb. 17)
• Christine Nesbitt, Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m (Gold, Feb. 18)

Our ladies are owning when it comes to Canadian medals at this moment. Out of seven, the girls have nabbed five (two of which are the elusive gold medals). None too shabby, if you ask me.

So, not only can we throw ourselves down hills well, we can also skate in circles on ice quite fast. Everyday, kids -- everyday, you learn something new.

EDIT: I can hear the rumblings from downstairs. I like to steer clear of the family room when men's hockey is on. Too much tension. And that's from the ice AND the spectators (chez Moffatt).

Tunes for Tuesdays: Goth Pop

I know. I can hardly believe I am making this post, too. I can hear the cries of disbelief from where I sit:

Goth Pop? WHAT is this?! WHY, WHY?!

Well, I think I can file this under Guilty Pleasures Moffatt Admits To Having.

Goth Pop -- it's such a strange facet of the music scene. It's populated with girls who could pass as the girl-next-door.... minus all the neon-coloured hair and the calculated tears in their black lace clothes. Goth Pop is its own niche. It's far too soft in sound to be considered Goth, yet the fashion borrows heavily from a Goth/Punkish aesthetic. It's got a slightly harder sound than pop music, but you know full well it's being targeted to the same suburban kids who listen to the straight-up, straight-edge Top 40.

It's not quite emo, not quite dance, not quite pop -- and then there's this brush of Goth-like accents tossed in for good measure. Think: Evanescence.

But one point it has in common: I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO IT.

Ah, the shame. Ah, the humanity. Hence, I file it under "Guilty Pleasures."

I have two separate artists to showcase this evening that are, without doubt, Goth Pop. The first hails from the Great White North circa 2003 and the second is a new duo from Japan. Despite the time/space/geographic difference, the similarities are uncanny and oh so shameful.

Jakalope

I am dredging up the darkest secrets in my music collection. Well, alright -- I never bought a Jakalope album. But I seriously considered it. Before I get ridiculed from here to Iqaluit, I would like to put out there that Jakalope was the brainchild of Canadian industrial musician and producer Dave Ogilive (aka. The man who produced work for Skinny Puppy, David Bowie, Nine Inch Nails, and Marilyn Manson). YEAH. We aren't messing around with an inexperienced founder here, ladies. He's worked with the titans of the industrial field and he's worked with freakin' Bowie. So, cut me some slack.

In 2003, Ogilive teamed up with Canadian singer Katie Biever to start crafting a new genre of music that would span the brash, violent world of industrial music and the melodic, hook-driven world of pop. In 2004, the album It Dreams hit the scene and found decent success with tracks including "Pretty Life" and "Feel It." And, um -- Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails even contributed production work and song writing credits.

Biever left the group in 2007 to pursue a solo career and a new Canadian songstress, Chrystal Leigh, took over as lead singer. Tonight, I offer the first single Jakalope ever released and the one track that continues to cycle through my head at the weirdest moments:

See what I mean? Complete mind sugar, I love it. Oh, but the magic doesn't stop there, kids...

Hangry and Angry

How on Earth did I stumble across this duo? YouTube. It was a recommendation. And now, these two pop idols are hangin' out with Jakalope in my subconscious.

And yes, that is the group's real name.

According to the Internet, the duo was created in 2008 in collaboration with a Harajuku fashion store of the same name. In essence, the band promotes the store's clothing and other related merchandise through their videos and live performances and .... well, there's music there, too. Hitomi Yoshizawa (Hangry) and Rika Ishikawa (Angry) are original members of the all-girl pop group, Morning Musume. Hmm, how to describe Morning Musume.... well, the group has rotating members where a girl's age plays the biggest factor on whether she's still in the group or not. Members "graduate" each year and new auditions are held to find replacements.

Now, granted -- the girls who "graduate" often enter successful new groups or duos, hence Hangry and Angry. And my, what a new creation.

Again, there's a similar swagger in Hangry and Angry as there is with Jakalope. H&A lean more toward the dance side of the fence, but the all-important style element unites the two quite nicely, I should think.

So, for comparison purposes, here is a subbed version of Hangry and Angry's "Top Secret" video, complete with Goth plushies and robots:

Compelling, isn't it? I know there's not a great span of time between both groups (2004 vs. 2010), but the outcome is the same. It's clean edge spanning cultures. Girls can feel tough and rebellious without actually having to be tough. Or rebel.

And this is why I am so gosh darn guilty over listening to any of this.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

Congrats to the newest Canadian athletes to capture space on the podiums:

• Mike Robertson, Men's Snowboard Cross (Silver, Feb. 15)
• Maëlle Ricker, Ladies' Snowboard Cross (Gold, Feb. 16)

Apparently, Canadians excel at throwing themselves down hills. Just add a little Goth Pop in there and I think I can call it a sweet night.

V-Day: The Final Stretch

Happy Valentine's Day to all those cute couples and sexy singles out there. I do hope that all parties received an indulgent amount of sweets and perhaps an extra surprise or two. I savored a nice bit of Toblerone this afternoon and dedicated the majority of my waking hours to anime and Olympics coverage.

It seems as though most writers out there are casting their two cents in on the notion of Valentine's Day. I for one am a bit of a romantic. Now, that being stated, I've never had the chance to fawn over a lady on this day. I can promise you now, the first girl I date on Feb. 14th is going to be overwhelmed because I am going to blow the DOORS off Valentine's Day for her.

Let all readers note that now.

Despite my lingering singledom, I don't harbour any aggression toward the holiday. I know most folks see it as another capitalist cash grab, but there are definitely other ways to surprise a special someone without having to drop serious cash.

I still prefer the original intention behind February 14th -- initially, it was a day for secret admirers to step forward and divulge their affections. It was a time to confess one's inner feelings and to (hopefully!) discover a new relationship. It's a time for action, or, at least, it's a time to remember that some risks are necessary if you want to forge a meaningful connection with another person.

And, it's also a time for epic amounts of sweets, so.... no arguments here.

***

OLYMPIC UPDATES:

Congrats to our first three medal winners on Team Canada!

• Jennifer Heil, Freestyle Skiing - Ladies' Moguls (Silver, F. 13)
• Kristina Groves, Speed Skating - Ladies 3000 m (Bronze, F. 14)
• Alexandre Bilodeau, Freestyle Skiing - Men's Moguls (Gold, F. 14)

And an extra special congrats to Mr. Bilodeau who marks a new chapter in Canada's Olympic history. As all Canadian media outlets drilled into our heads this past month, he is now the first Canadian athlete to win an Olympic gold medal on Canadian soil. I was thrilled to see that televised moment.

Congratulations to our medal winners and to all the athletes who have competed thus far. Here's to another fourteen days of nail-biting, exhilarating activities. Updates to follow!

I Now Declare the Games OPEN

... Or so stated our Governor General, Michaëlle Jean, before the blinding glory of CANADA overwhelmed spectators around the world over.

I mean, if a man hurtling through an explosive version of the Olympic Rings on a snowboard was not enough of an introduction, then, I don't know what is. Though, I'm curious to know who wrote the prologue for the televised event. You remember the montage of Canadian scenery right before the ceremonies started? I seem to recall Vancouver being described as the "emerald" of the nation and there was something about "sugar-coated peaks" for mountains? What? I.... sure. Sure, narrator. You just keep on.... reading those bizarre descriptions.

I have to admit, I was a little torn over the ceremonies. I had moments were my national pride was practically bleeding out my eyes, but there were other times where I felt..... somehow irked.

On one hand, the presentation of our natural wonders and iconic Canadian geographical features was gorgeous; on the other hand, we've sold most of our natural resources to the Americans and, in the GTA, we're taking a stance of overdevelopment and swelling urban centres.

On one hand, we focused on Canada's indigenous roots and incorporated Aboriginal culture into welcoming athletes and visitors from around the world; on the other hand, we as a nation have left Native populations completely disadvantaged when the world isn't watching.

Our Governor General officially opened the Games, a woman who represents our lingering ties with Britain (again, a vestige of the colonial mentality); our Prime Minister had ample time to take in the Opening Ceremonies since he's, you know, not working (good ol' prorogued Parliament); and.... um, actually, I think those are all the points that irked me most.

Hmm, perhaps I'm just having an off evening. I mean, there were some gorgeous elements to the entire evening: I was stunned with the stage and the effects created through those massive, multi-layered screens; the chill, blue atmosphere of the stadium was at once refreshing and peaceful; the crowd was an integral part of the show's success as their presence was used for lighting and other designs; and, of course, watching the faces of the Olympians as they entered the stadium behind the flags of their nations was inspiring and uplifting all in one.

But, I wonder how far we've come when we roll out all those stereotypical images in front of international company. It's like we took out the fine china from the 1800s to impress our guests. The Mounties in red, the majestic and rugged geographical features paraded about, even the snow-covered stage -- almost all of the alpine events were cancelled today on account of the fact that Vancouver can't produce the weather to sustain the events. The fake stage snow is about all the snow in Vancouver at the moment.

Now, all that bitching aside -- I do believe one performer managed to capture the essence of Canada. Of course, I refer to spoken word artist, Shane Koyczan, and his impressive, inspirational piece, "We Are More." I found one section in particular resonated loudest:

"But we are more than genteel or civilized

We are an idea in the process of being realized

We are young, we are cultures strung together then woven into a tapestry

And the design is what makes us more than the sum totals of our history"

I love this concept of Canada. I love the idea that we are not bound by a single, overbearing national identity. It seems like Canada has more room when it comes to what we are. I like that we still have debates over what defines a Canadian and what our culture is.

In a sense, it feels similar to the word "Queer." Our national identity unites us, but it gives us flexibility and allows us to still self-define. Ha, I know quite a few Conservatives would take offense to me likening our national identity to anything queer-related, but I can see the similarities.

Oh, and speaking of Queer, we had quite the representation last night:

• Ashley MacIsaac kicked it with "The Devil in the Kitchen" during the fiddler section of the Opening Ceremonies
• k.d. lang effectively stole the evening with her breathtaking rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"

I must be psychic considering I profiled k.d. lang all of three days earlier for Tunes for Tuesdays. It must be those latent gaydar capabilities of mine. I would also like to note that both MacIsaac and lang were the first performers who were NOT dubbed with a pre-recorded version of their songs. I know, I'd never seen dubbed fiddle music before, but, there's a first for everything, I suppose.

So, all in all.... I am all over the map on this one. I was confirmed and alienated in one shot.

Another question for readers out there: Were the Opening Ceremonies a boost to the Canadian ego, or were they a pageant of stereotypes? Did you feel inadequate compared to the show or was your national pride reinforced? I am definitely interested to hear opinions on this one, kids.

Out Athletes and the Road to Vancouver

HERE IT IS, KIDS -- tonight, the 2010 Winter Olympics will set the Vancouver skyline alight with the hopes of all those homegrown and international athletes.

To celebrate, I am staking my claim on the couch and tuning in for the spectacle of the Opening Ceremonies. I know, there's some correlation between increased laziness/ingesting high fat foods and watching elite athletes. I mean, someone has to savour the empty calories those athletes have sacrificed to attain their goals. I'm just doing my part to help the Canadian team.

Anyhow.

I wanted to provide a premium link that will be of great interest to the queer women out there. Heather Hogan at AfterEllen.com took the time to sift through more than 2,500 competitors at this winter's Olympics and she has managed to locate our out and proud women vying for the podium.

The Grand Total: 4

I know, I wish it was higher, too. Though, as Ms. Hogan points out in her article, there's still quite a stigma existing in the athletic community when it comes to outing oneself. There's still intense pressure to remain in the closet in order to appeal to potential sponsors and to the more close-minded spectators out there. It's a sad reality, but, even then, I am damn proud to know that there are at least four women in this year's Games who have taken the step to represent for themselves, their countries, and for the LGBT community.

Oh, and one of those lovely ladies happens to be Canadian to boot.

Allow me to introduce you all to Sarah Vaillancourt, a forward for the Canadian women's hockey team.

Now, Ms. Vaillancourt is no stranger to the Olympic Games. At the 2006 Turin Games, she took home the gold medal with fellow teammates after playing Sweden in the finals. And, for some compelling tension for viewers out there, one of the other queer Olympians is a member of the Swedish women's hockey team (Erika Holst).

So there -- our one representing Canadian queer woman is also a competitor in our national sport. I don't know that I could fit anymore patriotism into that sentence.

Hmm, it's a shame there's no out curlers at the 2010 Games. For some odd reason, I tend to gravitate toward curling whenever it's televised. Ha, you could even say it "hits the button," a heh, lame curling jokes.

So, how about you? Are you game, or... lame? Nah, you're not lame if you don't watch the Olympics. All I know is it'll be difficult to avoid them for the rest of this month.

Serious, though, which events are you excited about? Which events do you use as a sleep aid?

More importantly, which Olympians have your heart all a-flutter? I am still ~checking out~ the competition, a heh. Alright, I need to stop with the puns.

Be sure to tune in for the Opening Ceremonies at 9 PM EST/6 PM PST.... or, check local listings for the televised festivities because I am certain networks will scatter it all.

Hats of to our 206 Canadian athletes at the 2010 Winter Games. May you strike gold early and often, kids.

Sundries and Such

I am calling in the armed forces to tackle this post. I've got some post ideas on the back-burner at the moment, still in the "development" stage if you'll allow me to indulge that unearned writer's ego. Serious, I want to have those posted in the next few days.

At the moment, I've got some literal and metaphorical laundry to air:

• Moffatt child, please -- clean your room. I was toying with the idea of sharing photo evidence of the current state in which I live, but... I don't think I can bring myself to do it. I don't want to expose others to my comfortable squalor. It shall be erased.
• Eye exam: I had it done. Good news: I have a prescription for glasses that will restore complete vision while I am driving (aka. No more squinting at street signs!) Better news: There's nothing wrong with my eyes. Well, aside from the fact that my vision has decreased substantially over the past four years. What I mean is, the pain I am experiencing in my face is NOT a result of inner eye problems. Thank goodness. That's one more possible explanation scratched off the list, so, I'm gettin' somewhere. Even greater news: I can claim some of these new expenses for my taxes. WHOOO, I'm OLD AND CARE ABOUT TAX DEDUCTIONS, YEAH!
• I will start forcing myself to wake up before 8 AM. I know, I need out of the under-employment rut. I hate having an irregular schedule. I think it induces greater procrastination in me. I'm a morning person -- if I sleep past nine, I feel gross and unaccomplished. I know, I am insane. As the wise Arcade Fire put it: "Sleeping in is giving in/No matter what the time is" ("Rebellion (Lies)," Funeral)
• I will return to the regular gym schedule. I suspended myself from it because of various ailments, but, since they've all been reduced in scope, I figure it's safe to re-dedicated efforts toward the gym.

Umm.... alright, I think those are all the pressing issues at the moment. OH! No, I thought of another: I need a better diet. I've fallen off course again. I need to take a tough stance with myself once again. Perhaps, as a result, my face will stop hurting. Oh, I am excited at the prospect, trust me.

Hmm, I feel I need more queer content. Umm...... oh, well, the main reason for the gym is for Pride. I need to be awesome for my tank tops and for the ladies who just might catch a glimpse of me in said tank tops.

~ FIN ~

This is Your Brain On Plans

This is a rather accurate depiction of my brain this evening.

I've spent a large portion of my day reading books about publishing and scanning blogs written by the Juggernauts of the written word. I have decided: I need to conquer this writing business. Well, I have to get an eye exam to make sure those pesky retinas are not trying to detach themselves -- but THEN, I will write.

(Truth be told, sitting and writing this now is causing a great deal of pain in my face. See? I will suffer for art, I must be the rugged, tortured, REAL deal.)

So yes -- some weird crush of ideas has taken over. Actually, maybe that is what's causing the eye strain. All those ideas are trying to leak out onto my keyboard but those silly pupils won't open wide enough to let 'em flow through and -- alright, this is making me feel gross. I will stop.

Ideas.

I have at least two new blog ideas. Did I mention I am writing on two right now? Well, one is on hiatus while The Advocate is orchestrating the Olympics in Vancouver. The other blog is here (and queer!)

I have a writing contest to enter for the end of this month. I have the story planned out, I just have to take the time to write and edit it. The word limit is 2,500 words -- pfft. I scoff at that. I have the sense this story will easily surpass that count, so I need to harness the brutal, internal revisionist for this project.

I have various writing goals that Ladies in Writing will hold me accountable for this year.

I have an exhausting amount of planning to wrestle over the next few months. I am prepping for some recklessness to start in September. I know, it sounds a touch oxymoronic. I am anal-retentive, there have to be SOME plans in place otherwise I will be left breathing into a paper bag.

Umm.... so, I am quite all over the place. OH! And I need to network. I find networking to be rather stressful at times. And by "at times," I mean ALL the time. I need to take a page from the revised edition of Ship Sharp's Book -- that lady is takin' no prisoners and I am in the greatest awe possible. In fact, I think she should start a blog just so she can tell the world how fabulous she is. I mean, The Advocate and I do the regular bloggin' rounds, so, I think Ship Sharp's gotta get in on the ground floor of that.

Alright, I need to call it quits for the evening -- my eyes are shrieking and pleading for me to give it a rest or at least put some sunglasses on to cut the glare of... everything.

Confound you, immunity.

Tunes for Tuesdays: k.d. lang

It was all a matter of time before k.d. lang was profiled for the beloved Tunes for Tuesdays segment here at Cute, Queer, Canadian. The woman is blessed in numerous areas: she's got a honeyed voice and a classic, seductive persona; she's respected throughout the North American music industry for her addictive, alt-country sound; she's a Juno and Grammy award-winning artist; AND she's an out and proud lesbian.

I have the inkling sense that for numerous Canadian gay gals, k.d. lang factors into those proto-lesbian years in a substantial way. I remember watching her video for the epic hit "Constant Craving" from Ingénue (1992) and sensing there was something wonderfully different about this Canadian icon. Impressive, considering I was six-years-old in 1992. I know she came out in the same year, but, this was LONG before the days I even understood the concept of "queer."

She has such an unmistakable, smokey quality to her voice -- such an elegant composure to her persona. I am certain that, given ten minutes, she could seduce everyone in a fifteen mile radius with the sheer magnetism in her voice. That includes ALL queer and straight women and men within that radius. There's not any sense resisting her. It's proven fact.

I mean, readers will remember those delicious cover shots from the August 1993 publication of Vanity Fair, right? Need a refresher?

Oh, to be that razor....

Oh, to be that chair...

As I said, I think k.d. lang is one of those fixed points in the Coming Out narratives of numerous Canadian women. In a social climate where few butch women exist in the entertainment industry, k.d. lang has represented since 1989 when she won her first Grammy Award for her collaboration with Roy Orbison on the track "Crying." From that point on, she has shown the world that Butch is Beautiful and we all best bow down to it.

For this week's edition of Tunes for Tuesdays, I am focusing on k.d. lang in her live performances. She is a rare breed of musician who cannot be contained by her recorded tracks. No. To feel the full power and passion behind her pipes, audiences NEED to hear her live.

On that note, I turn to her powerhouse hit, "Constant Craving." I defy you not to be seduced where you sit:

*Swoon* I hope I can summon the coordination necessary to post this next clip. Now, k.d. lang is quite well known for her ingenious covers. On her album, Drag (1997), she focused her talents on smoke-themed tunes and other lounge classics; Hymns of the 49th Parallel (2004) saw lang covering iconic songs by a host of English-speaking Canadian musicians; and, she's got an array of other collaborations under her belt. With this next clip, I would like to showcase the pure glory that is k.d. lang's version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" from the 2005 Juno Awards:

Glorious. I'm glad the Junos can sometimes make smart decisions. This single clip might just be their finest choice, I must admit.

I feel there's still so much about k.d. lang to share -- I could write on and on with no clear end in sight. From her extensive music career to her social activism (RE: Vocal vegetarianism, her support for Tibet human rights issues, her dedication to vital LGBT issues) and to a whole host of other delightful gems -- her stories are far too complex for a post of this nature.

Though, new and established fans alike will be thrilled to hear about her latest release. What better form of celebration is there than to head out and purchase her Recollection Deluxe Edition, an impressive 33-track album of her greatest hits (all released on Feb. 5th, 2010)?

Cute, Queer, Canadian -- she's a national treasure as far as I'm concerned.

And yeah, I suppose we could share her with the rest of the world, too. I mean, it'd just be too greedy to keep her all for ourselves, as much as we certainly would like to.

One Week Later...

Ungh... where has all the health gone?

Current status:

• Crippling sinus headache
• Massive pressure behind the eyes
• Fluid in the ears

Serious, what the heck is happening to this ol' body of mine? Could it be the countless hours spent at a computer screen? Hmm, doubtful -- I was doing more time at the computer during the summer and did not have issues.

Do I have eye infections? Hmm, also doubtful -- there's no pinkness there. Definite swollen sensation, but it could be more a result of the sinus pressure.

I'm calculating the chances I have to visit the clinic and snag some antibiotics. My current doctor tends to give ineffective solutions.

Actual conversation:

Doctor: Well, why not take a hot shower and use the steam to clear your sinuses?

Miz Moffatt: Umm... well, I'm living off Advil at this point. I don't think the shower is helping at all --

Doctor: Right, so try a hot shower.

Miz Moffatt: But, I DO take hot showers--

Doctor: And the steam will help it.

I wish my last doctor didn't retire. He tended to help find solutions.

So, random doctor at the clinic it is. And perhaps a visit to the eye doctor is called for.

And certainly more posts to come this week.

The Glittery Girls of the 2010 Grammys

Great Golden Grammys, ladies -- the glitter's dropped and the glamour's still hanging in the air around these parts. I guess the 52nd time's a charm, right?

It was quite the evening for The First Ladies of our current pop culture climate. A new record was set and an entire evening of entertainment and mass spectacle was lavished on audiences across the continent.

Recession? Utter nonsense -- based on the grandeur of the live acts and the unbelievable number of costume changes, it seems our economy is on the rebound. Or heck, perhaps we all struck oil while running our faucets some time last night.

In either case, it was a blinding affair and a memorable one to boot.

Lady Gaga kicked off the evening and threatened to steal the entire show. I mean, that's some serious business right there. I think Lady Gaga defines the term "spectacle," so it's quite the statement to launch a show with her presence. As promised, Lady Gaga delivered a theatrical performance including a ring-master/executive who commanded a crowd of factory workers/dancers to create Gaga, The Fame Monster. She opened with "Poker Face" before she was cast into the "Rejected" section of the "Fame Factory." (Serious, YouTube this one).

Lady Gaga, Pre-destruction

The on-stage contraption opened to reveal a nightmarish, melded piano (with those clawed hands we're all so fond of) -- however, Lady Gaga had another ace hidden under those glittery layers. In fact, she launched into a duet with Sir Elton John, another performer who gained notoriety in his time through flashy outfits and equally captivating, catchy albums.

If Lady Gaga wasn't a queer favourite before, I think she's cemented her place as of last night. In addition to a fanciful performance, Lady Gaga also walked away with two awards for her efforts (Best Dance Recording, Best Electronic/Dance Album.)

If you were wondering where all the other awards disappeared to last evening, just check Beyonce's bag. Serious, she owned the Grammys on numerous levels. To start, Beyonce broke the record for number of Grammy's awarded to a female performer in one evening. In case you were counting, that's SIX statuettes (Song of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Best Female R&B Vocal Performance, Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance, Best R&B Song, Best Contemporary R&B Album).

To finish, Beyonce added her might to an evening of powerful, shock 'n' awe performances headed by women. She sang a rousing, hair-tousled rendition of "If I Were A Boy" (which I still have issues with on a lyrical level, but that's for another post). And, much to my eager surprise, she wove in a little bit of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know." It was surreal to see Beyonce strutting with a more rock-pop image but, hey, I am not one to complain.

Did anyone pick up on the Xena: Warrior Princess vibe of her outfit? There's a definite echo there of the original outfit worn by Lucy Lawless. I mean, a one-piece leather corset/skirt combo, all studded and impractical for battle? Don't you just want to drool all over it?

Come on, I know you want to. Oh, and speaking of random thoughts -- I've noticed Beyonce's developing... shall we say, an "affection" for militaristic imagery throughout her live act and her videos. The number opened with Beyonce leading a special ops corps or some such collective. Interesting use of tactical man-props, if I do say so myself.

All bow to the Siren Tyrant.

Of course, a discussion of the 2010 Grammy Awards would not be complete without mentioning the young Taylor Swift. The new sweetheart of the country charts set her own record last night as she won a total of four awards on her first trip to the Grammys. She even took home the coveted Album of the Year Award for Fearless. She beat out Beyonce, the favourite for the award, and even toppled the likes of Lady Gaga to get it. I know the online debates are raging as to whether Ms. Swift "deserved" the award or not, but, when it boils down to it, the debates mean nothing -- she won it and that's how it is.

And, to make a grand night even better for the young singer, she even got to share the stage with the iconic Stevie Nicks. Not a bad start to a Grammy-studded future, I'd imagine.

Now, before I ask readers to dedicate the next few hours to a detailed rundown of the entire evening, I will cut it short and leave you with images from Pink's stunning performance. I held off from posting videos since they're all being pulled off YouTube faster than I can write this at the moment. But, serious, you NEED to watch her performance. She sang "Glitter in the Air," and, well.... that's all the explanation you need.

Pink sittin' pretty with a bronzed acrobat/gymnast.

*Can't... form... sentences...*

For a complete rundown of Grammy winners and nominees, check out the official website over here --> 2010 Grammy Awards.

So, Grammys: Hit or Miss? Did you check 'em out and pine after America's top female performers or did you boycott the affair? Or maybe you didn't know/didn't care that the Grammys were on?